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I try to make sure I explicitly deal with this topic fairly regularly because, truth be told, it isn't something to be dealt with. It's a practice to incorporate into your daily routines: how might you get closer to those ideas and viewpoints different from your own?
Something that I am consciously trying to incorporate in this practice (which probably has a fancier name) I call "holding." I try to take the idea that makes me want to yell, to rebel, to fight back and I just hold it. I sit with it for a minute. I try to notice the nuance and plausibility of such a perspective. On my best days, it's incredibly difficult. Through this practice, I am continually discovering new prejudices, new biases, new beliefs that aren't new at all: they're rooted deeply into the fabric of who I am and by noticing them and becoming aware of them, I can begin deciding what I value and what needs to be excavated. I can examine each in turn and ask, "Is this sustenance or is this poison?"
Yeah, it's probably a little weird. But here's the thing: that exact practice? I didn't invent it. For half of humanity, it's a daily practice. So if you, like me, thought it was just a little too 'out there' for you, might I make a suggestion? It is exactly this practice that is needed to begin addressing what made you think it was strange in the first place?
Perhaps the things that are unfamiliar aren't wrong, just unknown. And perhaps the working of making them known is what we need in our own lives to begin understanding who we are and who we are becoming.
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What I'm Reading
Dr. Jennifer L. Eberhardt
This should be required reading in the school of American life. Dr. Eberhardt does a masterful job blending her research, others' literature, and her own lived experience into a compelling portrait of what's taking place between our ears in our normal, everyday lives. But let's not kid ourselves: this is not an easy read. You will be confronted with ideas that are not comfortable. But I would argue ignoring the stories and research here is akin to turning a blind eye to the woman at the red light holding a cardboard sign: you don't have to give her your money, but her circumstance does not at all alter her dignity and worthiness of love.
Quotes
“Implicit bias is not a new way of calling someone a racist. In fact, you don’t have to be a racist at all to be influenced by it. Implicit bias is a kind of distorting lens that’s a product of both the architecture of our brain and the disparities in our society.”
"Living with diversity means getting comfortable with people who might not always think like you, people who don't have the same experience or perspectives. That process can be challenging. But it might also be an opportunity to expand your horizons and examine your own buried bias."
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Around the Web
James Clear
I mean, I can't really sum this up any better than he already does: facts don't change our minds, friendship does.
Quotes
"The most heated arguments often occur between people on opposite ends of the spectrum, but the most frequent learning occurs from people who are nearby. The closer you are to someone, the more likely it becomes that the one or two beliefs you don't share will bleed over into your own mind and shape your thinking."
"People also repeat bad ideas when they complain about them. Before you can criticize an idea, you have to reference that idea. You end up repeating the ideas you’re hoping people will forget—but, of course, people can’t forget them because you keep talking about them. The more you repeat a bad idea, the more likely people are to believe it."
"Your time is better spent championing good ideas than tearing down bad ones."
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Just for fun:
(Pretty sure I've shared this before, but even if you visited once a month, every month, I'm confident there is more to learn. And sorry for the dry-sounding name. I actually laughed out loud as I took each test, astounded by the biases I was demonstrating that I didn't know existed within me.)
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