Impostor syndrome—that feeling that you're "a fraud" or that your success is not deserved—can sneak up on you when you least expect it. It's definitely happened to me throughout my career. That’s why I was so happy to be on the Dreamers // Doers panel “Impostor Syndrome in a New Decade” recently held at Luminary, a female-focused collaborative space in NYC. Dreamers // Doers is a membership collective for female founders, trailblazers, and change-makers that is redefining how business is done, and every woman on the panel, from Karen Sunderam of UBS to Christmas Hutchinson of Verizon Media, is on a mission to help women stop the impostor syndrome shame cycle. Here are some of my favorite tips from the evening:
- Create a "smile file" full of positive feedback and accomplishments that can remind you of how competent you are.
- Surround yourself with colleagues or friends ("a personal board of directors") with whom you can share your impostor syndrome struggles.
- Put things in perspective to make you feel less paralyzed—weigh the costs of potential mistakes and rejections.
- Address the root cause: "Why am I telling myself this story?"
- Don't write off the positive effects of impostor syndrome (e.g. humility), just keep the negative ones in check.
- Recognize that you are not your job. Create a refuge at home where you are not defined by your output.
So the next time you’re thinking, Why me? Or I don’t deserve this praise, stop yourself and celebrate all that makes you you.
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TIP / Be True to Yourself
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I met Ashley Longshore about seven years ago and I fell in love with her art. Even more so, I fell in love with her. I've never met anyone as real as Ashley or as generous. She has become a prolific artist, but she is still the same person at heart. I have two of her pieces proudly displayed in my home—I find her art inspiring, cheeky, bold, unapologetic. Just like Ashley. Her latest coffee table book, I Do Not Cook, I Do Not Clean, I Do Not Fly Commercial, takes you inside her colorful life story and her passion for pop art.
Win it: The first five people to respond to this email will receive a free copy of Ashley's coffee table book.
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Free professional development: Have you heard about Grow with Google? It’s so cool! They provide free digital skills training to all New Yorkers. There are a ton of free classes, workshops and one-on-one coaching available. Check out the schedule.
Good cause: I met Kelly Lyndgaard, founder of Unshattered, at Hudson Valley Magazine’s Women in Business Awards. Her company, which makes upcycled handbags, provides full-time employment to women in recovery. After witnessing too many relapses, Kelly was on a mission to help women sustain their sobriety, achieve economic stability, and thrive—and she has a 100% success rate. Read the women's stories and shop here to support an amazing cause.
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On My Radar
- Thrilled to be guest no. 1 on my friend Bethanie Baynes' new podcast, Working Wife, Happy Life, which shares stories of breadwinning women in today's world.
- I’m speaking at the Watermark Conference in Silicon Valley on February 12. The conference is sold out, but for the first time you can join in by livestream.
- Shout out to female collaboration: The Wing opens their latest NYC location in Bryant Park and it's become my new favorite place to work.
- For my local Bedford, NY, friends, I’m all in on enhancing social/emotional learning in our school district and am co-chairing this fundraiser on February 13. Please join!
- Listen in: Wonder Woman director on asking for more so you don't have to.
- What leaders can learn about the art of presence from Alicia Keys.
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And, if you have a friend who would love to join our newsletter circle, tell them to sign up here. If you want a sample of my book, take a listen. And, as always, email me with ideas.
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