ISSUE NO.50 | FEBRUARY 2020
True Love
The other day, Dusty and I were really struggling. Some days feel like we can barely stay above water as new parents and entrepreneurs. We're trying to remember that these special moments as a young family will be sure to pass quickly, but prioritizing what's most important can sometimes be difficult!
I told Dusty we need more structure and discipline. He told me we need more love. Those two things sounds pretty opposite...but they're actually intertwined!
Love came easy when we first met, but as we've grown closer over the years, we've wised up and now look back on that "puppydog love" as superficial and fleeting. We now know that love is a daily choice that sometimes comes naturally, and other times requires more focus and attention--kind of like a house plant that coasts through the week on sunshine and air, but every so often, it requires a big gush of water to stay alive.
A Big Gush of Discipline
It's easy for Dusty and I to eat clean and stay fit--eating and moving our best, but we're realizing more than ever, just how neglected rest has become. Within rest, we hold space for not just sleep, but also for down time, connection, spirituality, and LOVE. Lately we've been playing around with different ways to express our love more regularly, loudly, and clearly.
- Scheduling date nights and down time in our calendars
- Spending time with family members weekly
- Speaking words of encouragement to each other & paying compliments
- Praying together
- Physical touch--hugging, kissing, dancing together daily, especially for Max to see!
- Laughing often
- Talking about what's bothering us and what excites us
- Acting as a team
To me, I see discipline as the driving force behind strengthening our love, and not in a rigid rules kind of way, but by constant vigilance and intentionality behind our thoughts, words, and actions. Just like taking on a new way of eating or getting into a fresh workout routine, momentum begins to take over, which allows for more flow with all of these new habits and patterns.
Self-Love
Not only does it take discipline to express love towards someone else, it also takes a lot of discipline (and guts) to accept love. I don't know what's more difficult, to accept love from others, or to accept loving myself. Have you ever felt yourself shrugging off a compliment, turning down a kind word, finding it difficult to say I love you back, or cringing when you get a hug? What about your relationship with yourself? Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought something negative? Have you ever beaten yourself for not doing something 'good enough?' Have you ever complained about your insecurities to somebody else?
Which is more difficult for you? Accepting that you are worthy of love from someone else? or from yourself?
Let It Flow, Let It Grow
I'm realizing that it requires far more energy to resist love than it does to let it come to you and to let it flow out of you! Let this month of Love and this Valentine's Day be about more than red roses and a fancy dinner with a dreamy date--let it be about disciplining and conditioning your mind and heart to work in unison to love yourself and those around you more deeply.
We are all called to be more Christ-like, and leading with love is the only way!
11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:11-13
Points to ponder:
- What's one way you can show yourself more love?
- How can you express love more openly to others?
- Can you readily accept the next dose of love that comes your way?
- I love you! (take that!) ;)
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