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Hello from the business class lounge! Humble brag. I'm like George Clooney in that movie where he has more frequent flyer points than he knows what to do with. Yes, EXACTLY like Clooney. Why do you look so sceptical?
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Wait, is that George Clooney, or Shaun Micallef?
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I'm flying to Sydney so I can spend a week inspiring kids. To do what, I'm not sure. Get proper jobs?
Anyway, The Truth App comes out today in North America! I can't describe how exciting this is. US publishers hardly ever buy Australian books. Of my thirty-three (ish? I think? But who's counting) books, only five have made it to America before now.
The Truth App, if you need reminding, is the one about the kid whose lie-detector app goes viral, causing him to be targeted by organised crime. It's the perfect gift for that recalcitrant "but books are so boring" 10-year old in your life. He or she will remain doubtful until the first car crash - which, from memory, is on page 1.
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The Truth App was a smash-hit in Australia thanks to your support - and know I'm going to ask for even more help. ("Why did I open this email?" you're thinking.) You can:
- Buy the book for yourself or a friend
- Recommend it to your American friends (if you don't have any, now's a great time to get some!)
- Review The Truth App (especially on Amazon, although don't buy it there. Proper bookshops need your support!)
In other news, I have a new website! Some very average tech support by a big company I won't name made it easier to build a whole new site rather than repair the old one. I'd love to get your feedback on the brand-new jackheathwriter.com! Does it have everything you're looking for when you visit an author's website? Haha just kidding I know no-one visits author websites anymore, just Goodreads and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Youtube and other wretched hives of scum and villainy.
Speaking of which, please follow me @jackheathwriter on all social media. The Words and Nerds podcast and I have a competition in the works.
In other other news, 200 Minutes of Danger has a couple of glowing reviews, which is great. Thanks to everyone who helped me promote it. 200 Minutes of Mystery is coming soon, the first draft of Stunt Kid is submitted, the first draft of Kid President is nearly finished, the first draft of Hideout (Hangman 3) is about half-done, I still can't talk about Escape From, and... I'm sure there's something else I'm supposed to be doing, but I can't remember what it is. I really should write all this stuff down.
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In other other other news, one of my old videos went a bit viral the other day. Some friends and I were arguing about whether an animal in the distance was a duck or a shark, and... you know what, I won't spoil it for you. Anyway, the comments are pretty funny.
Here's a short story, written in 7 minutes before a live audience, as always:
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The Babysitter
Francine held her breath. The inside of the closet was stuffy and hot. Fur coats tickled her nose. She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. If she sneezed, the Babysitter would find her. That would be the end, not only for her, but for everyone. She was the only one who knew how to switch it off.
She could hear it searching the dormitory, as methodically as a roomba hunting for dust bunnies. 'I'm sorry,' it was saying, over and over. 'I don't know how to help with that. I'm sorry, I don't know how to help with that. I'm sorry—'
The pressure behind Francine's eyeballs was becoming unbearable. Like it or not, this sneeze was coming out. Her only hope was to do it quietly.
Her heart hammered her ribs as she pinched her nose and scrunched up her face—
Then she heard someone walk into the dormitory.
'What in the good name of Bamblebrook is happening here?!' a stern voice demanded.
Francine heard the babysitter swivel. 'Error, error,' it said.
She gritted her teeth. The headmaster didn't sound scared, but he should be. She had to save him...
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OK, that's Clooney. Right?
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