Let me preface this newsletter by saying I am a fully undecided voter. I hate all the candidates equally. I watched the democratic debate and here is my paraphrased review-
Debate starts...
Warren: This billionaire calls women fat broads and horse-faced lesbians, not Trump, Bloomberg! Everyone: Ohhhh shit shots fired Biden: I was there. I've been there for everything. I've seen it all. Bloomberg: I'm so rich. So so rich that I can't even use TurboTax. That's how much money I have. It takes people weeks to do my taxes. Bernie: Bloomberg is a billionaire and shouldn't exist! Why should he have billions of dollars when other people are homeless? Bloomberg: Bro Bernie you have 3 houses. Bernie: All I have is my main home, my second home and my vacation home. That is normal, is it not? I am not rich, I hate rich people! Klobuchar: Hey no one really knows who I am but I am going to take some shots at Pete Buttigieg! Pete sucks!!! Buttigieg: I am normal and woke. Did you hear how I said latino? I said it with a latino accent. I care about latinos. Klobuchar doesn't even know the name of the president of Mexico. Everyone: Bro get back to Bernie/Biden/Warren/Bloomberg no one cares about these two fighting. Warren: Bloomberg sexually assaulted women. Bloomberg: Whatever happened was settled between both parties and neither wants to talk about it. Warren: You're telling me the women who got abused don't want to talk about it? Biden: What he is saying is that he paid the women a ton of money to sign a NDA agreement so they wont talk. All Candidates: I'm going to talk over everyone else and attack everyone else. Let me talk! I have the most important thing to say! You're stupid! You're stupider! You're not that woke! I'm woker!
As they all bash each other and look like fools, Trump is having the time of his life and posting on Instagram about how short Mike Bloomberg is...
I honestly couldn't tell if I was watching The Bachelor, Saturday Night Live or the Democratic Debate.
-Taylor "thought Bloomberg was smart because he used memes well but idk anymore after this debate" Offer
P.S- Submit your questions for Fan Love Friday tomorrow!! Nothing is off limits!! Lets hear your best questions!
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