Rabbi Zev Roth Joins 2020 Presidential Race, With His Catchy Slogan, "Make YTCTE Carpool Great Again".  
Rabbi Zev Roth (shown with his campaign manager, Rabbi Askotzky) rises rapidly in polls as US citizens recognize the importance of his campaign platform.
 

Streak of 654 Days of At-least-one-child-forgotten-at-carpool-by-parent ENDS!
Mrs. Deutsch, who regularly watches the forgotten children, wiped away a tear as she mournfully reported, "I didn't know what to do. I got so lonely...I could barely hear myself think with all that silence."  

Enlightened Iguana Academy Takes Trip to the Klurman Campus 
As part of their human anatomy curriculum, the Premier Academy for Enlightened Iguanas sent some of their students to the Klurman campus to observe humans in action.

RMS Student Suspended for Calling Art "Pointless"
"But I was just talking about the pencil pole!" complained the boy. 
 

YTCTE Surpasses 'Baby Shark' on the Music Charts!
YTCTE's new hit song, which started a sensation on the streets of South Florida, has quickly reached No. 1 in 20 countries and topped 1 billion plays.
 

Daf Hashana Initiative
The BMZE bochurim started a new Daf Hashana Initiative. Save the date!  A gala siyum is being planned for the Siyum Hashas, which will be held on March 4th, year 4731.

DACHS Ski-Free Initiative
Because of the inherent dangers of skiing, DACHS has begun to distribute smart phones as an incentive to any student who will commit not to ski for a year.

 

Middos Moish Identity Exposed!
BREAKING NEWS: KES's Middos Moish's true identity exposed!! An anonymous source leaked the information to the press. Middos Moish is actually a 40 year old man named Mo Frankel, from the Five Towns.

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YTCTE Parking Crisis Solved!
After extensive research, YTCTE has finally come up with a solution to the severe parking shortage. FREE for all teachers and parents in the school! (Helmets must be worn at all times.)