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Welcome to Newsletter #129

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

It Sneaks Up on You by Caroline Bird

A tale I heard

Comedian Bob Mortimer on his sweet tooth:

"When I went fishing with mates as a kid I’d usually have strawberry jam or banana sandwiches on Mother’s Pride with sugar sprinkled all over. At one point I was putting 17 sugars in my tea. I know it’s unbelievable and I do wonder sometimes what my mum was thinking to allow it. The weirdest thing was that if I had 18 teaspoons it was too sweet. I suppose if I was trying to analyse it, losing my dad was more upsetting than I would have realised, yet I got quite a kick out of sugar."

A tale I saw

Five Year Late Eulogy by Caroline Teague

A tale I wrote

Two old geezers are sat at the bus stop.
Not usually this late,
says the one with the full carrier bag.
Didn't realise it wasn't on time,
says the one with the empty bag.
Two birds fly past my windows.
If humans had wings
perhaps we'd work together more.
My desk is bulging with half-finished poems,
a mug of cold tea, a cup of tap water
time has turned it sparkling,
a gone off banana, an unpeeled orange,
a picture of an old geezer
who bought me here.

A tail I like

Enjoyed these tales? Forward this to a friend or read more at carltellstales.com

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P.S. I Made a book! Find out how to buy one here