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August 4, 2020
You doing okay? Is the (potential) depression that may come and go for you, too, manageable? Are you getting the optimum amount of puppy videos but not too much? I hope so. I think of you often. I also think about how some people have the problem of too much alone time these days, and other people have the problem of too much together time with kids and/or spouse and/or parents. So much to cope with either way.
I'm a bit more on the alone'y spectrum and in the space a theoretical framework arose tonight. Let's just play with this. I would love to hear your experience with it. (AKA "is it just me?" AKA I may just have way too much time on my hands.)
So let's say methods of generating income are versions of relationship. Do you agree or disagree with these correlations?
1) A job that is just okay...you are longterm committed with someone and are comfortable. You're not necessarily challenged or stimulated but the sense of security is worth the tradeoff.
2) A job with entertaining drama from colleagues...you're in a relationship with someone you met at a bar or at a wedding. They can be so FUN sometimes but you're also trying to do adulting well and sometimes they sleep in for hours after you've gotten yourself up to get to work. Not fair, but you hang in there for the fun.
3) A high-paced stressful competitive job that pays well...you married for the money. The money is very good and you also work hard to keep up your part of the agreement. Somewhere inside you always know that the "security" is contingent on your ongoing contributions.
<<OK honestly, this is too funny not to share. As I type this, I can hear one of my neighbors having some very much not alone time. That bed is creaking and creaking, can we get some WD40 over there please? Well. Fine, universe, you're right. Not everyone is having a tough time with togetherness. Mazel tov, my neighbor!>>
4) A job that underuses your potential and you can sleepwalk through much of it...you're dating someone much less intelligent than you. They have other strengths and they're so sweet, but there is a level of ignited togetherness that you never reach. You stay because you've heard the dating world is rough and frustrating.
5) Your dream job....your dream partner. You feel so fortunate. Sure you have rough patches but you know it's just par for the course. You're excited, glad to co-create, and radiate satisfaction.
6) You own a business with not enough clients yet...you know the object of your eye is at least mildly interested but they play games and you feel strung along. The occasions when you do connect are so fulfilling that it keeps you coming back for more. There is major potential as far as you can tell, but you're not yet sure if the other is fully ready to commit to you, and you don't yet know what is in the way.
7) You own a business with more clients than you can keep up with, and it seems impossible to even find the time to train and hire help....you're dating multiple people and the wealth of riches is a mixed blessing. At any point you can have a date, and the dates are good for the most part. You know you're wanted and appreciated. It bothers you a little that you know you're not as present as you could be with each person, but who has the time to stop and navel gaze when there are so many people to keep happy?!
8) You're working a good-enough day job and have a side hustle you're passionate about. You long for the time when you can work on that side hustle and have to work hard to make yourself concentrate on the day job...you've been in a longterm relationship where you're fairly sure the other person is done with you too, but you haven't yet talked about it. You're seeing someone on the side, which is okay...the longterm relationship has always been don't ask/don't tell. You work with not totally falling in to the illusion that all you need is to be with your side hustle all the time to be really happy/successful/fulfilled.
9) You're looking for a job and are not sure where the next job will come from...you're ready to date but haven't yet connected with potential mates.
10) You don't need to work because of family money/trust fund/divorce settlement...you're in an arranged marriage.
Ha! That last one was hardest to write, and likely the most outrageous jump. #s 9 and 10 I think can be the most envied from the outside, but the most difficult to be inside of.
I mean none of these judgmentally, just thinking of parallels between these different types of relationships. I find it helps me to find some flexibility and observing distance to play with different roles and structures. The power dynamics can be particularly potent where money is involved. I've worked my way out of many blind spots, and hope to support you in doing the same.
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Ready to spend just a little hour reviewing your finances?
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VenturePad is a nifty coworking space in San Rafael, CA. I'm offering a lunch and learn session next Thursday, leading people through a cashflow inventory process that provides wonderful food for thought. We'll review whether your money behaviors are matching your values.
Register here:
https://www.venturepad.works/events-calendar
I invited my Mom, too, but I don't think she'll work "the Zoom". But show up in case we get a Mary Scott sighting, she is a hoot!! I texted her that I was going to hire a stripper to visit for her birthday. Then I said I'd just hire her neighbor to save on the travel fee. She texted back..."He is HOT! (It is 92 degrees here.)" hahahaha I love my Mom.)
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Speaking of special private time at night...I've been staying up late every night just devouring The Mindful Millionaire by Leisa Peterson. Often when I'm reading a money book, I think about who I want to give it to next....this book is SO good and mind-expanding that I know I'll keep it on my shelf to refer back to. It takes a lot for me to commit to a book that way.
I highly recommend this book for those of you who know that "the answer" is not just more money, but its also not just avoiding money and staying away from it. I am really loving this reading experience. Particularly The Prosperity Ladder is setting off all sorts of light bulbs for me.
Get it here and support local business: https://www.bookpassage.com/book/9781250261915
(Also nice that it is a new book but came out in paperback right away. Price break!)
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Have you heard the Beyond The Dollar podcast? I'm obsessed.
I sometimes listen to pre-pandemic podcasts for a little vacation. This one is fantastic!! What is *your* enough money, and why?
https://beyondthedollar.co/be-a-financial-weirdo-with-jason-zook/
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There's Beth. (That's me.)
I coach people on their finances...personal, small business, savings goals, financial systems, etc etc. I like listening carefully and I also like asking questions. I'm spiritual but you don't have to be. (And if you are, it is 100% welcome.)
I'm a good bookkeeper...OCD with a sense of humor. I do that for business finances, as well as personal finances for those who are working too long and hard to keep up with their tracking software.
I teach others how to become their own bookkeeper if they want to, as well as how to find a trustworthy financial professional.
I organize and conduct financial processes where there needs to be some outside oversight, ie a single person who doesn't yet trust their willingness, a coupled person whose partner is not able to participate in the joint finances, divorced couples who have financial arrangements to adhere to, anyone who wants clarity and organization and have their affairs in order.
I'm a part-time CFO for small businesses. I attend to the accounts receivable and payable, coordinate payroll if needed, tax schedules and preparation, government forms, insurance audits, stuff I weirdly like to do because I heart crossing concrete items off of a to-do list. I support business owners in having a living, vibrant business plan with healthy goals and accountability. The icing on the cake is getting to talk with the business owner about how well their life is going in the day to day, and how the money and the systems can make that even better. Some of my clients tell me they don't want to run their business without me, and the feeling is mutual!
Email me if you'd like to explore working together. I know it can be challenging to find hope these days. Trust me, it's still findable.
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(I took that picture tonight while I was thinking about sharing the framework above with you.)
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Formula for Financial Wellness = Attention on Your Numbers + Deep Self-Honesty + Connection
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This is for people who are interested in exploring their financial wellness practices.
Without being rigid or punitive about it. And hopefully while laughing and crying along the way.
(Things go better with some expression and flow!)
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