I believe each of us has unique inner gifts to share with the world. I want to:
- inspire leaders, parents, caregivers and educators
- celebrate inner resources, and
- share the journey of learning and living the Nurtured Heart Approach®.
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I have focused this issue on ideas related to NHA® Stand One: I refuse to give energy, connection and relationship to negativity. My newsletter nuggets and resources are intended to be useful to any NHA practitioner. This is NOT a substitute for NHA training. Subscribe now!
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In a Cherokee tale, a grandparent explains to a grandchild that there are two wolves inside us that are always at battle.
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Wolf One represents things like generosity, patience, bravery, and love. Wolf Two represents things like greed, anger, envy, hatred, and fear.
The grandchild asks, “Which one wins?”
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The grandparent quietly replies, “The one you feed.” Many versions of this story end here.
An alternate ending encourages us to to consider how we choose to interact with the opposing forces within ourselves. We can starve one wolf or the other or guide them both. In NHA Stand One we are challenged by the statement: ignoring is counterproductive.
We need our two wolves. One makes the other possible and we must attend to both. Stand One encourages us to use our energy wisely in relation to negativity. The extended story of the two wolves stresses that we cannot shun Wolf Two. We need to acknowledge and work with Wolf Two in an accepting low-energy way. If we starve Wolf Two, it is likely to increase its intensity.
Our difficult emotions or negativity, symbolized by Wolf Two, can serve us. Let’s say jealousy rears up within me – by acknowledging the want and accepting the internal pang, I honor Wolf Two. I can name the feeling without judgment or self harm, no berating, just acceptance that I want something someone else has. I can simultaneously harness Wolf One’s self-compassion to validate the longing. In the process, I shift my focus to the positive way I will respond to Wolf Two’s needs. The grandparent in the story reminds us, "To have peace we must guide both the positive and negative forces within ourselves."
For more see: https://deanyeong.com/fight-two-wolves-inside/
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"Consider this:
When's the last time you lost a night's sleep dwelling on what's right, what you are grateful for, or what greatness you find in others?
Did your inability to quiet that positive voice in your head keep you awake long into the night?"
Howard Glasser. Igniting Greatness: Remembering Who We Really Are Through the Nurtured Heart Approach. 2015. p. 95.
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I recently gathered some symbolic materials to represent the gift of reset. Classroom teachers and parents might like to engage in this activity with kids. We all reset in different ways. Ask one another:
- What do you need to support your reset? and
- What could we put in our "gift of reset" box to show that?
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Here are a few ideas spark yours:
- Bubble wand and Slinkies: reminders to breathe
- Tape and string: help to hold it together
- Tissues: for a good cry
- Play-doh: something to do
- Plastic fly: a chance to say what's bugging me
- Egg timer: a few minutes by myself
- Mints: encourage"mint" or acknowledg"mint"
- Hearts: love, kindness, empathy, forgiveness
- SHINE cards: words of affirmation
- Brenda Bender Posable Sculpture: flexibility
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Again, we all have different needs in times of stress or dysregulation. Use your time while making a "gift of reset" as a chance to normalize the process of getting back into the game.
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"If you become less negative but don't fill the space left behind with appreciation, gratitude and greatness, that empty space can and will continue to invite negativity. This is essentially why "ignoring" not only doesn't work with an intense child or adult, but also will most often make things worse.
Howard Glasser. Igniting Greatness: Remembering Who We Really Are Through the Nurtured Heart Approach. 2015. p. 148.
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When we feel our feelings and accept them, we can claim the 7 C's. Name 7 qualities (each beginning with the letter C) that may be reflected above. I will follow up on this idea in my next newsletter. If you can't wait, listen to this podcast!
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Verona Area School District
NHA Heroes
An open meeting for parents and teachers using NHA and seeking to improve their practice. Volunteer childcare provided!!
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Next Meeting:
Tuesday, January 22, 2018 - 6:00-7:30
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Saturday, April 6, 2019
*FREE*
Nurtured Heart Approach Workshop
Ripon, Wisconsin
8:00-4:00
Barlow Park Elementary School
100 Ringstad Drive
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FIND JOY!
For those who celebrate: Merry Christmas!
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The Nurtured Heart Approach is copyrighted material belonging to Howard Glasser and the Children's Success Foundation.
As stated above, the material in this newsletter is not a substitute for NHA training.
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