We're welcoming back a child with Tourette syndrome. Find out more and help prepare your child too!
Family and Friends of Lifespan Spiritual Exploration (LSE) at UCM
News, Updates, and Reminders
Worship theme for December: What does it mean to be a people of POSSIBILITY?
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but
anyone can start today and make a new ending.
~Maria Robinson
Photo, above (click 'show images' at the top if photos are not displaying): Two children and two Spiritual Exploration volunteers, Margaret Blanchard (left) and Abby Colihan (right), tickle one another in pairs with feathers. This activity and others from last Sunday's SE time helped convey what it is like to try to resist a strong impulse from your body (to laugh, or to scratch the spot touched by the feather). It simulates the imperative someone with a tic disorder or Tourette syndrome feels to do the movement or sound that is their current tic. Read more about tics (not the bug kind) below.
January 10, 2019
I'm so glad to have shared some end-of-year holiday celebrations with many of you. Whether you made it to the Solstice Sacred Sing or the No Rehearsal Christmas Pageant, Christmas Eve, or the Making of Memory Jars as a New Year's tradition, it was a treat. A new year is a fitting time to have our worship theme of Possibility.
This month in our Sunday morning Spiritual Exploration time we are challenging ourselves to make it POSSIBLE for our space to be truly welcoming to all--including one of our UCM kids. Over the past couple months Tristan Donlan-Kite has experienced pretty strong symptoms of Tourette syndrome, with body or vocal tics that can be distracting or disruptive. I'm emailing ALL of you so you all feel in the loop and can help loop your child(ren) in if they were not there last Sunday. This is very important, as without a group being prepared and educated, it is easy for someone with Tourette syndrome to be misunderstood, blamed, and made fun of.
The kids last Sunday were fabulous in our discussions and brainstorms. They understand that this is something stressful for Tristan and that he's nervous of getting embarrassed or getting in trouble. It's been a very hard couple months for Tristan and his family. It is a time when their family needs our church community more than ever. Let's really live into our UU principles, especially the first three of welcoming each person, being kind, and encouraging everyone in their spiritual journey. Tristan will likely attend the 11am service this Sunday. He wants to be in the Fireplace Room with his dad until we sing the children out and will then join the group in the Children's Chapel.
1) We encourage you to please review the main ideas listed below, from the email recap of last Sunday's session. Even if you come to the 9am, it is helpful for them to know in general. Youth often step in to help, so we encourage them to be in the know too!
2) If your child wasn't there last Sunday, they might enjoy a chance to watch some or all of the video of Willa, our youth Tourette Ambassador who visited us during the 11am program to speak with the kids first hand about her experience. Thank you Kenric Kite! (This is a private youtube link. Since children's names are used, please keep this within our UCM community and do not share without checking with me first . Thanks!)
Please don't hesitate to email me with your questions or concerns. This Sunday is my Sunday off but I will be working the very next day. My sub and LSE volunteers are well prepared for the session and for supporting Tristan and the other kids.
With love and gratitude for all the individuals and families invested in this important work of welcoming Tristan back to our community,
Liza
Recap from last Sunday's lesson (Jan. 6, 2019):
At 9am we heard from Meredith Warner, a member of our congregation, who has helped someone in her life navigate body tics. At the 11am service, a youth from U32, Willa, who is an official Tourette Ambassador shared her experience. Both guests were extremely helpful.
What does TS look or sound like? First of all, tics are not ticks. Not wood ticks or deer tics. Ex. of body and vocal tics: shrugging, blinking, grimacing, or making loud sounds, spitting, even words that your not supposed to say. The person is not trying to make the sound/movement, but they can't stop it.
What causes tics? Doctors don't know for sure, but probably something in the brain or the nervous systems is not quite working right. It is like an allergy, just for that person and NOT contagious.
Activity: We had kids try to go awhile without blinking. This gives the sensation of your body basically ordering you to do something, even though in your mind you're trying not to. Finally, you can't help but blink. At the 9am kids paired up with feathers and tried to resist itching their arm or face when someone gently touched it with a feather. (Below: Abby Colihan, right, and Margaret Blanchard,left, were our 9am volunteers today.)
Then we brainstormed:
How to respond to in helpful ways when someone you're with is having tics:
1. Ignore it. Pretend it isn't happening. Stay focused on what you're already doing.
2. Don't say stop it because they can't help it.
3. It's okay to give a little space for his body to move.
4. Teach others who don't know. Quietly say, "They can't help making those sounds or movements. Try to ignore it. He's not trying to be mean. He really doesn't want to be doing those tings."
5. Get to know the person!
What NOT to do:
1. Don't laugh.
2. Don't stare.
3. Don't mutter about them.
4. Don't point.
5. Don't make fun of them or mimic them.
6. Don't take it personally if he says your name and a bad word or makes a face.
7. Start using those bad words if that is the tic.
We role played some things that we do in the Children's Chapel while Meredith modeled a loud vocal tic. The children did well not staring and staying calm and focused on the group activity. They are all ready to be teachers for other kids next week--kids who weren't here this week--to welcome Tristan back to church if there at the same service together.
What might the tics look like? One hard part about Tourette syndrome is the tics are always changing. Right now his tics are an urge to spit, so he may be using a cup or handkerchief to spit into. Also, swearing - often combined with a person's name— someone who is sitting near him or someone who has just walked in the room. He's been repeating what others say and sometimes scribbles on other’s drawings. Sometimes hitting himself in the face.
Photos above: These are the posters of the main points and brainstorm with the kids last Sunday.
UPCOMING SUNDAYS
Sunday Jan. 13 -- Lessons from the Arctic Both the 9am and 11am Spiritual Exploration times What's Possible When We Venture to Other Places? Susan Koch, 1st grade teacher at Union Elementary and 2016 VT Teacher of the Year, will share her slideshow of her adventure to the far north, to the Arctic! The slides are beautiful and Susan has some neat stories to share. She will touch on our 7th principle, of caring for the earth. It will be a great chance to practice focusing on the activity at hand, and not on the person having body/vocal tics. Hope you can make it!
Upcoming Events:
Family Potluck: Feasting, Fun, and Brainstorming, Fri. Jan. 18, 5:45-7:30pm
A chance for kids to connect and also for parents to meet other parents and learn how we might be better able to support one another in this amazing and challenging work of parenting, and raising compassionate, conscious children in touch with their own spirituality. There will be a time all together for feasting followed by a break out time for children or youth to share their ideas, play some games, and watch a short film. Please bring a potluck dish or finger foods if you're able, but if you can't swing that--come anyway! RSVP appreciated, but walk-ins welcome too. Any UCM Families with babies, kids, or teenagers welcome (long-time or brand UCM new families). Grandparents, aunts, uncles... parents who don't normally come to services... all the family is welcome!
Upcoming Lifespan Spiritual Exploration Events
Kids/Youth Programming
High School Youth Group Sun. Jan. 13, 6-8pm, Bell Tower Room
What does it mean if…? Why do we …? Can you help me understand….? How do other faith traditions….? This Sunday you will have a chance to ask Rev Joan questions about things you may have wondered about, but didn’t want to ask in a large group or perhaps were too shy to ask one on one. Please join us for this special session of HSYG. Sunday, January 13th at 6:00 to “Taco ‘Bout it”. PLEASE RSVP (sjdaab@hotmail.com) to help us plan. Of course if we’re going to TACO ‘bout things we’re going to also need tacos. Please sign-up to help with the taco fixin’s if you are able. We would REALLY like to have you join us. Whether you are a regular or only attend occasionally you are welcome and your presence will help make this a wonderful event.
Multigenerational Spiritual Exploration
Monthly Multigenerational Story Circles
January 19, February 16, March 16 ~ 3 p.m.
Children's Chapel
The theme for January is Possibility. If you can't come for the January session, no problem. Come when you can. And feel free to invite others to join us. Share a story, poem, song, or just come to listen!
Adult Spiritual Exploration
For parents of young children, we do our best to provide childcare for you to participate in Spiritual Exploration of your own. Please notify the facilitator or Liza of your interest with at least one week's notice. To view the latest UCM brochure of Multigenerational/Adult Spiritual Exploration please click here.
Am I a UU?
Monday, January 14 from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. in the Children's Chapel
Have you ever wondered how to answer, when people ask you about the Unitarian Church of Montpelier, or what you believe, when they learn you attend services or events here? Might you be interested in learning more about what "Unitarian Universalism" is all about, but haven't yet been able to attend our "New UU" classes? Please join us for this informal gathering, where new & long-time members and friends are all welcome to explore these questions together!
Save the Date for the next Spirited Conversations gathering on Monday, January 28th, 4:30-6:30PM at the North Branch Café. Spirited Conversations is a monthly gathering facilitated by Rev. Joan at a local bar or restaurant for casual conversation about spiritual and theological questions related to the theme of the month.
Speaking Up for Racial Justice PRACTICE session: “Interrupting Hate and Addressing Unintended Bias” 2nd Wednesdays: Feb. 13, Mar. 13, Apr. 10
6-8pm in the UCM vestry
Several recent requests have been made for white people to be more active in response to biased and racist comments being made in public. Each session will have a similar format and focus on practice, but the scenarios will be different, so participants may greatly benefit from attending one or multiple sessions. Facilitated by Kathy Johnson and other members of Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ). Co-sponsored by Lifespan Spiritual Exploration. Childcare provided upon request at least one week in advance.
White Privilege & Critical Humility Workshop Sat. Feb. 9th 9:30am - 3:30pm
The practice of critical humility is an opportunity for white people to develop the capacity to interrupt white privilege effectively. This workshop is highly interactive. Participants’ engagement will determine the utility of the information in their lives. While we will be addressing a serious and challenging subject, we will engage people with stories and ideas which will help people ameliorate some of their challenges/fears about the topic. All are welcome. Sign-up at the LSE Table during coffee hour or online here.
Cathy Stackpole, presenter/facilitator, is an intersectional feminist, who worked for many years in the movement to end violence against women. She is the mother of two grown African American daughters. She has been the Executive Director of Ferry Beach in Saco, Maine for the last 7 years.
Active Listening Workshop Feb. 16th and 23rd 11am - 1:30pm
If you want to really connect with your children, your parents, or people at work, it may be time to do something daringly different. Anybody can do it. Yes. Really. And it always makes a difference. Learn to actively listen and simultaneously improve the quality of your relationships and your life. A two-part workshop with winter sessions on February 16 and February 23. Childcare will be provided but please email meredithwar@gmail.com to pre-register for it. Sign up during coffee hour at the LSE table, or contact facilitator Patty Crawford at pattycrawford613@gmail.com or call 802 760 7856.
Want to know more about UCM happenings?
Sign-up for our weekly UCM e-news here. We're also on Facebook. Visit our public page, Unitarian Church of Montpelier, or join our private page by visiting Friends of UCM. (Request access by clicking 'Join.').
FEBRUARY THEME: FAITH
MARCH THEME: JOURNEY
Liza Earle-Centers, Director of Lifespan Spiritual Exploration
ucm.dre@gmail.com
223-7861 ext. 2
Our mailing address is:
130 Main Street
Montpelier, VT 05602
