Morning, friends!
Once upon a newsletter, I wrote about how the year 2015 (so long ago! we were so naive! we are so much wiser now! 😏) was the Year of Internet Outrage. That was at least the hot take in a well-done, quite elaborate interactive at the time from Slate. I tried to offer some practical advice for how you can avoid fanning the flames of the outrage on a daily basis. But the reality is, it's so very tempting.
At the time I wrote, maybe we can all ask ourselves this series of questions more often before we post: "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" I often am challenged with this myself, as each layer seems to uncover more deeply a new existential fear of mine about the Internet: 1) Who knows what truth means anymore? 2) Kindness isn't an absolute, it's relative to who might read the words or the meme or the rant. 3) And necessary? I mean—is any of it really necessary? I could unplug my social media accounts and the world would happily spin on. |
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Let me hit pause on that set-up which serves as an evergreen introduction for about 500 topics I could write a dissertation about to bring you to just one: Konmari. You're sick of it, I know. It has become a meme, yes. I have participated in the meme, obviously. But the reason I want to bring it up is because personally the topic for me hits on one more "self-check" for Internet-ing that could be helpful: "Will this matter four years from now?"
I love this question. I ask it to myself a lot in a day in varying lengths of timelines. An email arrives that makes my face hot, the metro breaks down, a new romantic interest ghosts me—will this matter in a year? Most of the time, the things we get upset about will not matter in a year, let alone four. Time gives perspective and perspective gives wisdom, even if it's only a projection in our mind.
In fact, many of the trends that sweep the Internet will fizzle and fade, they do not have the staying power to make an impact across years of your life. So I try not to waste my energy, which seems to be exponentially decreasing in my 30s.
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But! I am here to say, with four years of perspective, having led a workshop on it, and after many hours sat over my belongings getting emotional and real with myself, and then doing it again every so often—that tidying my home has stayed with me. It passes the test. And not because of a Netflix show, but because of a book. (So when I get a little "heated" about it, I feel somewhat justified.)
So keep your books, if they spark your joy, and re-learn how much you love books. Maybe re-read a book you haven't in many years. Toss half of your clothes because they don't fit anymore and don't spark joy and learn to love the body you are in right now because it's beautiful and got you through a lot. Toss the scraps and reminders of love lost if it does not spark you joy and free up inventory space for the greatest love of all: you. That is the purest and cheesiest way I can really describe what the method has meant for me. Along the path, it's taught me gratitude, it's taught me temperance with buying new shit, and it's honed my sensitivity to joy so I can better attract (and hopefully keep!) the people in my life who embody it.
Marie Kondo, you deserve all the praise (and none of the shade). 😎
🙏
Kelly
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What's up
I appreciated this take on the KonMari method which talks about how backlash to her show ignores an essential aspect of the method, its cultural roots. And what about this other hot take about how the show underscores the invisible labor of women across many households. Why are young people pretending to love work? Because they are burnt out? What a strange juxtaposition. Such cognitive dissonance. No matter, it's all a myth anyhow. (Look at that, more snark!)
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Quote of the week
"Sometimes, when left to their own devices, men don’t do things."
- Psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby, who says the relatively low rate of male solo travel has a lot to do with how men relate to their partners. (This quote out of context seems quite misandrous, and made me snicker on the inside.)
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Tunes
Stream the playlist! Here is this week's fresh new line-up.
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