Speaking truth
Dear <<First Name>>,
No doubt you are well familiar with the phrases: speaking my truth or speaking truth to power. Have you noticed that there is a palpable edginess in many cases when either of these two phrases is spoken? This is not to say that there is no place for edginess. Certainly there are plenty of occasions when fierceness and edginess are well warranted. It got me thinking though about situations where speaking truth might carry a different tonal quality.
I wrote the following words a few days ago as I reflected on speaking truth. I wondered about the kind of truth that is less personal and more likely to be recognized as universal by anyone who has ever hit a relationship rough spot. A truth much more aligned with putting the sword down than picking it up. A truth that is more unifying than it is divisive.
To illustrate ..
The relationship had hit a rough spot. The distance between them had become intolerable. If they could speak to each other with genuine care and candor across the searing silence, what would they say?
I feel so scared. Based on our track record, I have little faith that either one of us possesses the skills necessary to navigate the growing distance between us. I fear that speaking will only create more pain as it has done in the past and I want so much more for both of us. I want these wounded places inside to be tended to mercifully. I want to believe that we can either renew our faith in our ability to meaningfully weave our lives together or, if need be, part ways with a deep abiding appreciation for what we have shared. I want to believe that we can find the generosity, grace and courage required to move forward. I want to believe that we can bow to this grief so that new life can be born. This is what I want to say to you.
Neither person will probably say this. Very few of us know how to speak in this way. It doesn’t mean however that it’s not what’s deeply true.
In my 20 years of teaching Nonviolent Communication, I would say that the emphasis placed on speaking and listening deeper than our evaluations and diagnoses, while providing the concrete tools to do so, is a reliable way to discover the one ground that is home to all beings. It doesn't mean it's easy to accomplish because it's not, especially in a culture that makes no honourable place for grief and promotes malignant individualism to the extent that it does. It does however mean that deep speaking and listening is doable for those who are willing to give themselves to the labour.
________________________________
Speaking of telling the truth, it's rare for me to read a piece that is so courageous, so bold, so comprehensive, so heartfelt and necessary. Punctuated by poetry (especially Leonard Cohen) and quotes from important books, authors and activists, dharma teacher and author Catherine Ingram does a stellar job of articulating where we are at as a species. I encourage everyone to read it. It's not a quick read so make the time. Better still, read it aloud with good friends so that you don't feel so alone.
________________________________
Important dates:
March 15th is the earlybird deadline for Speak A Language Of life in Ottawa.
________________________________
Thank you for reading. Until the next time, may you and your kin be well ..
For information about what an in-house training can do for you and your group, simply email me.
To work with me individually:
|