I pray this poem by our District Superintendent Kelvin Walker helps you remember why we humble ourselves during the Lent season. We are people in need of a Savior…come Lord Jesus.
You see, I have a dark side It’s that place where I’m apparently free
Free to compartmentalize
Free to rationalize
Free to legitimize and let materialize
All of the things that make me think it’s ok…
Ok for me to keep my feet rooted in two worlds
Yet, in reality, what I’m starting to see is…
That’s not freedom at all…
It’s really the bondage that I abhor
I have a dark side I portray perfection…it’s become my protection
But what I feel is rejection
So, I pretend and I scheme And I dream up ways to be on top,
to be the best Head and shoulders above all the rest
And I’ll do ANYTHING to achieve it BECAUSE…
You see, apparently, I’m free
Free to compartmentalize
Free to rationalize
Free to legitimize and let materialize
All of the things that make me think it’s ok…
Ok for me to keep my feet rooted in two worlds
Yet, in reality, what I’m starting to see is…
That’s not freedom at all…
It’s really the bondage that I abhor
It’s shrinking me…it’s sinking me
I’m not as big as I want to be And to let go is paining
Yet, to hold on is draining
Draining the very life I pretend to have
And, yet, I’m starting to see…
that it’s not life at all
It’s only death; it sucks the very life FROM me
And I begin to realize…that in bondage…I’m not truly free
There’s no freedom in compartmentalization
There’s no gain in rationalization
And all the wounds and the hurts of legitimization Bust open with a stench…stench like puss-filled boils
When they materialize and rise to the surface
It’s then that the light dawns
And I realize the futility of living with my feet rooted in two worlds
THAT’S NOT IDENTITY…
DEAR GOD, COME RESCUE ME
I’ve NOT been free – I’ve been bound
And this bondage is choking the life out of me
This life is such a chore…
it’s a life I abhor…
and it’s time to let it go
So, God, if I’m going to be bound at all
Bind my wand’ring heart to Thee
Cleanse me with hyssop Lord,
come and rescue me In these next forty-six days
Uproot and destroy the alter ego I’ve become
Show me exactly where my true self comes from
It’s painful to let go
But it’s death to hold on
So let me die that I might live
Bring me life so I might give Give
my TRUE SELF to Thee….and to humanity
Dear God, come and wash me
I want to be free