Freelance Fred.
Everything is fine…until it isn’t. An unexpected call on a Sunday morning can throw everything you thought was important out of the window. The following week spent not on what was planned but grasping for slivers of hope.
We are the lucky ones. We have hope….mountains of it.
Sorry for the cryptic start.
This weeks blog is inspired by a nurse’s smile at just the right moment and dedicated to all of the staff in Cavan Hospital, especially those on Medical 1, and even more especially to Caoimhe.
Freelance Fred
Although I loved McKenna’s bar on Dublin St. dearly, I usually tried to avoid it on Thursday nights. McKenna’s was blessed with a decent pint, a pool table, and , uniquely in Monaghan had a ‘Country & Irish’-free juke box. But every Thursday was open mic night and every Thursday I was anywhere else. Don’t get me wrong, I love live music, in fact McKenna’s is a great live music venue and I’ve been to many gigs there, but an open mic attracts a strange lot. This one always started with Benny murdering a Beatles’ song and went rapidly downhill from there.
That Thursday was an exception as my friend Joe was intending to perform Don McClean’s ‘American Pie’ and wanted some moral support. My moral support would amount to the consumption of several pints and the odd , subtle, bob of my head. I’d decided to come in early , before the stage had been set up to have a pint in peace and gorge on some Radiohead on the jukebox to keep me going through the dark night of open mic. And that’s when I saw Fred for the first time, although Fred would argue that I’d seen him many times before but simply had no recollection.
Even for McKenna’s Fred was a weird looking character. He wore a red and white patterned knitted ski hat, you know the ones with the dangly bits coming down from the ear flaps, a black overcoat over a black suit, white crumpled shirt, loosely knotted black tie and a cream coloured zipped cardigan that I’d only ever seen before in old episodes of Terry & June. He was an elderly gentleman, with a scraggy grey beard and a weather beaten complexion. He was sitting on his own at the end of the bar nursing a pint and reading the paper. He looked up as I approached and reached out his hand saying
“Here “ and as I held out my hand he put two 50 cent pieces in it. Before I could say anything he nodded towards the jukebox and barked
“ D1, F42,G17, and M4. You can pick the last one yourself.”
I smiled and did as I was bid. His selection was eclectic, but decent and I was impressed by his choices, all of which were firm favourites of mine, Blind Melon, Kate Bush, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, and Elbow. I picked ‘Reckoner’ by Radiohead. The intro to Blind Melon’s ‘No Rain’ had started as I took my seat beside the stranger at the bar. A pint was already waiting for me. I said thank you and introduced myself. He simply said “Fred. R33 Reckoner ”. I was about to take my first sip when he said this but instead I snorted into the creamy head, scattering little drops of Guinness all across the bar.
“Before you ask, I just knew.” He almost sounded bored saying this.
“Look, I’ll give you the short version, I’m an angel, yes, the one with wings, immortal, granted Fred is an unusual name for someone in my capacity, I’m here for good, you’re not in any trouble, someone thought you needed a nudge and so on and so forth…” He exhaled and then lifted his glass in toast and took a big gulp.
“Did Joe put you up to this ? Or Seamie Óg ? It was Seamie , wasn’t it ?” I smiled and relaxed. Seamie, proprietor of McKenna’s, considered himself a bit of a character, and he’d have known I’d be here because Joe had been telling everyone all weekend that he was playing tonight. I looked up and down the bar expecting to see Seamie sniggering.
Fred put his hand in the pocket of his overcoat and placed a white feather on the bar in front of me.
“Happy now ?”. I asked what did he mean.
“There’s the angel feather. That’s what you lot seem to believe in these days.” He reached into the pocket again, “Here have two”.
I took a sip and looked at him. He was looking straight ahead, ignoring me, as much as anyone sitting beside you at a bar can ignore you. He seemed bored and sad and I thought I’d put him out of his misery. “Listen, you got me good and proper with the jukebox, really, you did. So whatever Seamie Óg has promised you, a pint or whatever, you’ve got that in the bag, in fact I’ll even buy you a pint right now. But we can just leave it there if you like. There’s no need to go on. I don’t believe in any of that stuff.” I smiled at him. He turned to look at me and I could have sworn that fire burned in his eyes .
“Stuff ??? I’ve been dropping feathers in front of you for weeks! I have engineered this whole evening just for you. I’ve had to listen to Joe practice that bloody “American Pie” every single day since last Christmas, just so that he’d have the courage to play it tonight and you’d have to turn up. I caused it to be mild this evening because I knew you’d not head out if it was raining. I move heaven and earth for you and you call if ‘stuff’ ??? I really do wonder why I bother sometimes. Across the whole world marble statues and stained glass windows were made in tribute to me by the finest artists. Caravaggio’s ‘Ecstacy of St.Francis’ ? That’s ME in that one. Nike of Samothrace in the Louvre ? Me ! Rembrandt’s ‘Sacrifice of Isaac ? That’s me holding Abraham’s hand. Ruben’s ‘Union of Earth and Water’? Me ! You can’t throw a stone in a Byzantine chapel without hitting a mosaic of me. I adorn the walls of Pyramids, Assyrian statues, Persian carpets, Russian icons. I was worshipped! STUFF??? “ He’d tired himself out and was now glaring at me expectantly.
“Alright, calm down.” I was a little taken aback and about to apologise and then I remembered something, “Wait a minute. I’ve stood in front of that Nike statue in the Louvre, it’s clearly a female. And I didn’t pray to or for you ”
He looked at me silently for a long time, at least it felt like a long time, he was about to say something but he just shook his head and took a long drink. I ordered us another drink and started to apologise but he raised a finger to silence me. He put down his pint and said quietly
“Listen, it’s OK, it’s a lot to take in, and I’ve had a long, long day already. No one prays to me anymore, at least not like they used to. I’m freelance. Watch.”
Fred turned around on his barstool and gently nudged a chap in the back who fell slightly forward and knocked against a young lady. The young chap apologised profusely to the young lady. He was glowing bright pink with embarrassment. The girl said it was fine and was about to turn away , but stopped and said that she liked his tee shirt. He was starting to explain to her where he got it when Fred turned back to me and explained
“That young chap first saw that young lady in here two years ago. He’s been in here 74, no wait, 75 times since just hoping to catch a glimpse of her and work up the courage to speak to her. And now he has. They’ll be married within the year. That’s what I do.”
I turned and looked back at the young couple , they were heartily engaged in conversation, oblivious to anyone and anything other than each other. I turned back to Fred. Our new pints had arrived , he handed me mine and lifted his, and we clinked glasses. Again I was about to say something , but again he simply raised a finger and said . “What was the fourth song I asked you to select on the jukebox ?” I said it was Elbow’s ‘One Day Like This’ .
“Yes it was. It’s going to start now. Look at that girl at the end of the bar. When it get’s to the 4th verse she will stop listening to her friend and by the time it gets to the finale she will have apologized to her friend, put on her coat and headed home.”
It happened exactly as he had said. When she put on her coat and left I asked Fred where was she going. “She’s gone home to see her brother. He’s in a bad way and needs someone to reach out to him. That’s his favourite song and it’s prompted her to go and get him. They’ll be back here within the hour, he’s going to sing that song with your friend Joe accompanying him on guitar and they’ll bring the house down. It will be a fantastic boost to them and also to another person here tonight who will in turn be inspired to help out someone else on the way home. That’s how it works.” He smiled.
I was less sure of myself now. “But …isn’t it just a…isn’t it just a series of random events ?”
“Exactly ! A wonderfully simple series of random events. Except that they are neither simple, nor random. Some people satisfy themselves that it’s just a coincidence. There’s no such thing. You are here at this very moment for two very simple reasons, but both of which are of crucial importance.”
I was no longer sure of anything at all. I just smiled at Fred as he continued.
“Firstly you are a smiler, you smile and say hello to almost everyone you meet. Three times today although you absentmindedly smiled at people as you passed them in the street and thought nothing of it, to those three people it was the nicest, and in one case, the only good thing that had happened in their lives that day. Keep smiling.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “And secondly ?” I asked.
“And secondly”, he replied,
“ you’ll write about this and someone you don’t even know will read it and they will smile and they will realise that something they did recently , something simple, has changed someone else’s life wonderfully.They needed to be reminded of that That’s why you’re here this evening.”
He drained the last of his pint and stood to leave.
“Wait…please” I put my hand on his arm. ”I have so many questions”.
He took my hand from his arm and then clasped it with both of his.
“You’re not ready for the answers , yet.” And with that he winked at me and made his way through the growing crowd in McKenna’s. I looked at the couple , they were now kissing in the corner. The door opened and that girl from the end of the bar entered with her smiling brother, Joe was with them. He waved to me.
“Change of plan !” he said , I’m playing ‘One Day Like This’ instead.”
“I’ll be back in a minute, order me a pint.” I ran out after a Fred. I looked up and down Dublin St. but saw no sign of him. I took a deep breath and shook my head. I turned to go back inside and a feather gently fell in front of me. I reached to grab it and as I did so I heard Fred’s voice “Keep smiling, see you soon.”
I whispered to myself “ What if I still don’t believe ?” and I either heard myself of someone else say “Doesn’t matter, smile anyway.”
So I did.
And I do.
Toodles,
Paul