From the Director:

As we writers and other creatives try to connect to people in an authentic, non-selling way, there are definitely growing pains.

Lately, I've been feeling so conflicted about social media, particularly Facebook. 

First of all, I am so GRATEFUL to the people who follow me because agents interpret that as a vote for "voice". If people like what I post, what I say, they might buy my book, so the theory goes amongst agents and publishers.

Will you buy my book because I post pictures of cute Prose? I don't know. But you might come out to see her if I bring her to a book signing. Have her put her paw print next to my name.

On the other hand, as my number of followers inches toward 5000, I find I am in a whole other place, as if I moved from a small town where I knew everyone to a city of strangers.

Unpredictable strangers.

On the one hand, I do want honest engagement. I do want to know that I'm not talking into a vacuum, that real people are out there, liking and commenting and (especially!) sharing.

On the other hand, real people sometimes spout off (as my mother used to say). Dashing through the feed, we often blurt out things without thinking. I'm guilty of it, too.

The tricky thing is that my following in Europe is growing. And when someone from one country makes a disparaging remark about someone or a group in another country, that second someone is going to take umbrage. (I finally got to use that phrase.)

Then I feel bad because I feel that I have triggered an unpleasant exchange.

The other night, at a dinner party, someone (not an Italian) said to my American friend, "Don't be an ugly American." In other words, don't be rude according to our European standards of rudeness. Eat whatever I set in front of you and pretend you like it. (The American was protesting eating raw eggs because in the past he had had salmonella.)

My friend did not take umbrage, but I did. I didn't say anything but I was super annoyed. Yes, Americans can be loud and obnoxious. On the other hand, Europeans can be sneering and condescending and terribly rude by American standards. Really, what is so wrong with passing up one dish at a dinner? Why does that make you a horrible person?

Navigating across cultures is tricky. And the internet is international. Even my Facebook page, as amazing as that seems to me, is international.

When we post on a person's Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram page, we are entering their online living room. We are sitting on their virtual sofa, looking at their pictures, listening to their stories. And we, by our comments are contributing to the overall tone of the conversation.

Be nice. 

I am trying to convey the truth of what it means to live in this different country and culture. It is not glamorous. It is interesting. It is not luxurious. It is, in fact, meager is many ways. I don't even have a car.

If I post about one person who annoys me--I am looking at you grocery check-out man who broke my milk carton and then bullied me into buying it anyway--I am speaking about one person. Not the population in general. 

To generalize about a population is the same as when the woman used the phrase "ugly American." It's just not accurate. (If she ever says that to me, she'll be seeing one.)

But let's play nice in our virtual living rooms and backyards. We are at a wonderful period in history when we can actually get to know one another better. Let's break down stereotypes rather than reinforce them.

So no one takes umbrage. 

What about you? Any social media growing pains?

Finding our stories . . . and ourselves.
                                                                                    Alison

PS If you don't already nicely follow me, I hope you will on FaceBook or Twitter or Instagram.