When Keanu broke out into the mainstream, I was on the cusp of adolescence. "Rush, Rush" came out when I was in Grade 6 and while the song did stick, the super handsome leading guy in the video didn’t really make a dent in my 12-year old life. Speed hit the cinemas a couple of years later in 1994 (I was a freshman in high school), only beginning to discover boys in real life and onscreen. My school at the time fixed a couple of parent-daughter days every so often, and I remember my best friend at the time going into a panic because you were supposed to discuss your crush with your parents and she didn’t want to tell them she had a thing for her next door neighbor. So when the topic was broached, she said her first crush was Keanu Reeves. From Speed.

While everyone was discovering Keanu beyond Bill & Ted’s, I was on a parallel path, crushing hard on his pal and contemporary, River Phoenix. They both had bands—Keanu’s was Dogstar and River’s was Aleka’s Attic. They both were kind of hippie dippie. They both had floppy hair. And they were both huge up and comers. Unfortunately, River’s career was cut short when he died in October 1993. and while the rest of my friends continued down the Keanu rabbit hole, I was left writing haikus grieving the loss of my first Hollywood love. Keanu and River did a movie together, My Own Private Idaho, which was a little too dark for my 14-year old taste (and is one of only two River movies I haven’t seen).

Keanu has stayed in the scene for years and like the rest of my friends, I’ve watched his career all these years. I stay a little distant because it still kind of makes me feel bad that River isn’t around anymore, but I pay attention because Keanu is Keanu. How could I not. And even for someone who remains Keanu-adjacent, I have to admit it’s hard to ignore him. I supplied the bootleg copy of Little Buddha for my high school world religions class. The first R-rated movie I sneaked into watch in the cinemas was Dracula, where his accent did not bother me at all. I scoffed at that crushing-the-grapes scene in A Walk in the Clouds and reacted exactly the same way with The Lake House. I slept through the entire Matrix trilogy in my college years. And squealed in utter delight when he appeared in Something’s Gotta Give with Maroon 5’s Sunday Morning playing in the background.

For someone who isn’t as invested in Keanu as everyone else is and who takes all of his movies with a grain of salt, my favorite Keanu role is his recent turn as an absolute neurotic in Destination Wedding. Surprising, maybe. 

I think the best part of Keanu is his off-screen persona, which, thanks to Twitter I’ve been tracking for some time now. I wonder if River would have been that cool if he’d stuck around long enough to be here today. Doesn’t matter though, the world has Keanu and I think we’re all lucky for it.

—C.