Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend who is not a Christian, about a mutual friend - lets call him 'Ted'- who had recently passed away. My non-christian friend (a great guy, just really no evidence of God in his life, and definitely not part of any church) remarked that Ted had been one of best human beings he had ever known. That caught my attention. It's not uncommon for people to be very complimentary toward people after they die, but my friend seemed very sincere. He paused for a moment, and then said "You know, I never once heard him say anything negative about another person. Not ever. He just accepted people."
That's really interesting. From my friends perspective, the primary attribute that made Ted the best human being he had ever known was his unfettered acceptance of other people. Now, that's just one persons take, and I'm sure that Ted had other admirable qualities, and probably his share of negative traits as well. But this idea of the power of acceptance is worth thinking about. It's noticeable- and attractive- when we see true acceptance, because we all desire to be genuinely accepted for who we are. At the same time our human nature struggles with genuinely accepting others, especially when they are different from us, have offended or hurt us, or are just hard to deal with.
As Christians, we often struggle with accepting people whose behavior we disagree with, out of a fear that accepting someone will 'validate their sin'. You know what I'm talking about. Pick the moral issue that offends you the most, and how do you relate to a person where this is present, especially if it is unapologetically present? The reasoning goes like this... I can't be a true friend to that person, because if I just accept them as they are, they will think I'm okay with their behavior, which means I'm validating their sin, which means maybe I'm even culpable in enabling their sin... and you can follow that train as far as you want. In my own life, I can honestly say that I've used this reasoning as an excuse for fear and my own discomfort, but this sentiment may also be very sincere. But here's the problem. While this concern may be sincere, I'm not sure its Biblical. If I ever decide I can't extend genuine love, acceptance, and friendship to a person because of their sin, I need to realize that this is precisely what Jesus did for me. Consider just this...
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us... For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Romans 5:8-10
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins... Colossians 2:13
When we were sinners. When we were God's enemies. When we were spiritually dead. When our identity was still defined by our 'flesh'. If we put our human perspective upon God, we could state this "when were were totally, completely, and consistently offensive and in all other ways unacceptable"... THAT is when Christ declared us worth his life. That is when He died for us, took our unacceptability upon Himself, gave His life both for us and to us, and accepted us. This is key- Christ doesn't demand we 'get acceptable' and then accept us. No. In the midst of our sin, pride, and brokenness He fully accepts us, and then calls us to follow him in the journey of becoming acceptable.
If this is how God has accepted us, then how will the Spirit of Christ in us lead us to accept others? And here we come to our scripture for Sunday, Romans 15:7-13, which begins with this:
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
It is true that Paul is speaking here to believers, specifically to those whose different backgrounds and convictions of faith predisposed them to disagreement and conflict. And yet this principle speaks into our relationships with everyone, believers and non-believers alike. It's clear that Paul isn't telling us to just give sin a pass, to say 'everything's cool' and our life choices don't matter. To think that would set aside God's work of transformation (See Romans 6:1-4). But it's also clear that Christs acceptance of us wasn't dependent on our acceptability. His acceptance of us didn't validate our sin, rather it was the first and necessary act of setting us free from our sin. (John 8:1-11 is a beautiful picture of this truth).
Friends, as the church we need to really consider this matter of acceptance. We need the truth of God's Word and the leadership of His Spirit within us. In Romans 15 Paul says "don't be condemned by what you approve". Likewise, may we not withhold the love and acceptance of Christ for what we fear. There are valid issues to think through here. Boundaries are both wise and Biblical. God will never call a person to stay in an unhealthy or abusive relationship because they must 'accept' their abuser! God, protect your church from such distortions!! But given all this, here is the question on my mind. If I consider a person I struggle accepting because of their moral life expression, how will I have the greatest positive influence upon them? By keeping them at arms length so I don't 'validate their sin'? OR by sincerely accepting them, stop being offended, genuinely loving them (not just as a project), and through our personal relationship showing the authenticity of God's love and the amazing story of His grace?
Christ never validates my sin. Never. He is always leading me and calling me into His goodness, His nature, His Spirit. He daily commands me to put off the old and put on the new, to fix my eyes upon Him, and to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. And in all of this, each step of the way, He accepts me just as I am. Praise God for this miracle! This is a gift we continually receive from God- may it be a gift we continually give to others.
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken. I'm accepted, You were condemned.
I'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me, because you died and rose again.
Amazing Love! How can it be, that you my King would die for me?
Amazing Love! I know it's true, and it's my joy to honor you. In all I do, I honor you.
Accepted with you in Christ,
Ethan
Special note: Last Sunday at Edwards we heard from David Ross, a member of our Trinity sponsored Boy Scout Troop. David is working toward his Eagle Scout rank, and his main project is constructing a shade structure, along with a log table and benches, in memory of Susan Wolff, Trinity's administrator for many years. This will be outside of our Kennedy Youth Center at our Edwards campus. If you would like to contribute to the hard cost of this project in Sue's memory, please contact me (Pastor Ethan) and I can tell you more about it.
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