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YOU'RE IN, SISTER 


If you haven't joined the Badass Babes Facebook Group, what are you waiting for? Your whole squad is here trading tips and advice about money, ambition, jobs, and more. Plus, gain exclusive access to freebies, discounts, and giveaways. Welcome to the sisterhood!
 

What's Standing In Your Way?

I've said it before and I'll say it again (and again and again): Millennials are game-changing, rockstar pioneers who are changing the way we live and work. But there are still so many people who roll their eyes and dismiss your ambition as an annoyance.

A couple of years ago, I gave a talk to a millennial women’s group in Providence, Rhode Island. During the Q&A session, a woman stood up in the back of the room. She was probably in her mid-40s. Neatly dressed for a Saturday. Hair perfectly coiffed and a neat silk scarf tied around her neck. 

“It seems like millennials are all anyone can talk about,” she said. “How can someone like me, who is not at the beginning of her career, not get lost in the conversation?”  

That woman put her finger on the tension we all feel—on both sides: She’s asking a very honest question out of fear of being edged out of a rapidly changing workforce. It’s a story I’ve heard from the other side, too. So many young women come to my table and tell me they feel like they're being held back by their bosses. They say that their bosses seemed threatened by their rising stars.



I was nodding my head in total agreement of this story from the New York Times about the tension between the generation that came of age when there was room at the table for one woman (so, of course, you'd fight tooth and nail for your seat) and the generation that is coming up now with different expectations of sisterhood and success. As I was reading, I couldn't help but think about that woman in Providence who doesn't want to be edged out of the game. Or the millennial women who feel their bosses penalize them for speaking up in a meeting and wanting so desperately to advance their careers.

We're all ambitious. We want to fill our lives and career with meaning. But how can we all get there if we're on opposing sides?

I’ll tell you what I told that woman that day in Providence: You have a choice: To be diminished or be inspired. I choose to be inspired. And not just for GenXers and Boomers, but for you, too.

In this moment of history for women, when we are all on the cusp of amazing change, we cannot afford to let this division pull us apart. We need to support each other in the ways only women can.

We can't afford to allow assumptions like these drive a wedge between us as women. Because this moment isn't just about your success. It is about all of us.

Instead of seeing people as being in your way, see them as opportunities. They’ve been in rooms that you haven’t been in. They’ve had experiences you haven’t even imagined yet. How can they help you achieve and succeed? And just as importantly, how can you help them?

Truth is, this tension isn't anything new. Every generation has had a problem every other generation—and it’s the challenge of every workplace.

In my first cover letter that I sent to every single magazine company in search of my first job, I wrote about how I wanted to work on stories that didn't abandon our generation to the stereotypes of GenXers: Underachievers, slackers. Sound familiar? 

I still want the same thing today—only for millennials. Because not only am I your number one cheerleader, but I've been there before. I know what it's like to have your age and generation define you.

I want to craft a narrative that honors our collective experiences as women, rather than slot us in narrow boxes of misunderstanding. The assumptions that divide us are not as powerful as the threads that unite us.

We have to assume the best of each other to rise together as women into roles of leadership.

Let's join forces here.

 XOXO
— A. 

 
IN OTHER BADASS BABES NEWS...

TFW YOU'RE MAKING YOUR MARK AND THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING 



Congratulations to Janet Mock for becoming the first trans woman of color to sign an overall deal with Netflix. Get it, sister! 

WORK HARD, FAIL HARD

"The humbling, brutal, messy reality of life is that you can do everything in your power and still fail." Sit with that for a moment.

It's a quote from the amazing Rachel Simmons (We've been in each other's orbits for years and never really got to know each other until we recently did a video coffee chat! I want her in my squad, stat!). Her recent piece for
TIME about dealing with children and their failures struck a chord in me—because it applies to everyone

We all want to control the outcomes. We want to practice and be our best and polish our resumes until they shine like the top of the Chrysler building. We want to believe that the world is a meritocracy, and that we have the credibility and hustle to make our dreams happen. But the truth is it doesn't always go as we planned. Maybe not even 50 percent of the time. And it makes us feel unworthy, as if we are to blame if we couldn't make it happen. 

I had to learn the limits of my control the hard way. Jobs I didn’t get. Boyfriends who were less committed than I was. Money, awards, and praise that didn’t come my way even though I was sure my work deserved it.

I don’t think it’s better to blame the system, the world, or the other people who got what we wanted. But acceptance is important so we see the world and our place as it is. Above else, we need to understand that we are valuable whether or not we hit every shiny milestone exactly when we want to. As Rachel says, we are enough as we are. 


YOU'VE GOT MAIL 

The power of the group text is a real thing. Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler have one. So does Beautycon CEO Moj Mahdara (a.k.a. my business Badass Babe role model) and activist/author Elaine Welteroth. As Moj revealed at the New Rules Summit, it's where she and her squad talk about their power, the deals they're doing, as well as exchanging advice and counsel. This is the future of sisterhood and success. 



Small groups of women who are devoted to seeing each other achieve and succeed. It’s what we’re doing with Badass Babes. It’s what my friend Tiffany Dufu is creating with TheCru—and it should be what you’re doing with your squad. You know that old saying that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with? Now it's less about time together than it is about texts together. What are you focused on? What is distracting you or standing in your way? How can we overcome it together? This weekend, change up the dynamics of your group text. Instead of trading GIFs from The Handmaid's Tale, trade success secrets!


BTW: This newsletter started from a series of conversations at my dinner table (dinner may be overselling...it was fancy frozen pizza and many bottles of rosé). Each dinner was a group of about 6 or so, friends of a friend of a friend, who came together to trade notes, offer support and share insider secrets. I called them the Badass Babes because they were the kind of girls anyone would want to be—confident, rule breaking, game changing. The conversations were so revelatory that I wanted to broaden the sisterhood and connect with young women everywhere. And so here we are. So glad you could join us!
Thank you for being a part of the Badass Babes.
Want to find your confidence, live your dreams, and get everything you ever wanted? Join us!

© 2019 Ann Shoket. All rights reserved.
Mailing address is: 110 E 25th St, New York, NY 10010
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