You don't need me to convince you of your value. You are hustling hard to build a life and career that’s full of meaning. But no matter how much confidence you have in yourself, there is no better feeling than when you have someone else on the sidelines, cheering you on. (And, for the record, I am your biggest cheerleader).
That’s the energy I felt in Serena Williams’ personal essay for Harper’s Bazaar. To say Serena is girl crush-worthy is an understatement. She’s a record-breaking athlete. She’s a working mom. She posed Photoshop-free for a major magazine (and her glutes are epic, btw)! But it was her note to Naomi Osaka after their headline-making tournament that made me love Serena even more:
"I am, was, and will always be happy for you and supportive of you. I would never, ever want the light to shine away from another female, specifically another black female athlete. I can’t wait for your future, and believe me I will always be watching as a big fan"
There’s a good chance you’ve heard about Shine Theory, which was pioneered by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow. (If you're not listening to their podcast “Call Your Girlfriend” you need to download it, stat.) The theory is that shining a light on another woman—not just giving her a moment, but actively celebrating it—enriches your life, too. You can’t possible shine if the women surrounding you aren’t shining just as bright. But to hear Serena—an illuminating woman in her own right—practice shine theory so publicly gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
It’s easy to feel like the world is not only pitted against us, but pitting us against each other. As if there’s only room for one powerful, ambitious woman. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can all win.
When I wrote The Big Life and started the Badass Babes community, I wanted to build a sisterhood of like-minded women who got each other. Who would share advice, swap stories, and support each other through the twist and turns of their own Big Life. I want you to feel like not only your sisters get you, but that they are rooting for you just as hard as they’d root for themselves.
As far as I’m concerned, the world needs more Shine Theorists. I dare you to flex your shine theory muscle. And no, I’m not talking about liking someone’s Instagram or congratulating your colleague's promotion on LinkedIn. I’m talking about listening to a friend’s wildest dreams, brainstorming how to get there, and cheering your sister on when she gets one step closer to making it happen. Because when one of us shines, we all do.
XOXO
— A.
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IN OTHER BADASS BABES NEWS...
TFW YOU'RE MAKING YOUR MARK ON YOUR OWN TERMS
We want to be part of your world, Halle Bailey.
IS IT TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE?
When the Aziz Ansari scandal broke last year, it didn't feel like the same shock and disgust as the other #MeToo accusations. It felt more complicated and nuanced. It prompted a conversation about sexual cues, consent, and communication. How are we even supposed to move forward with men?! But if Aziz's recent statement says anything, it's that some men are listening.
We shouldn't excuse Aziz's behavior. Coercion and miscommunication shouldn't be taken lightly. But we can appreciate Aziz taking ownership for the date, understanding his actions have consequences, and apologizing. It's a baby step, but a step nonetheless.
OUT OF OFFICE
What happened to your Sundays? Once upon a time, you'd spend the day brunching with your girlfriends, doing laundry, and catching up on TV. Now, you're hunched over your computer, sending emails before the week even begins. The Sunday Scaries are a real thing and, according to the Wall Street Journal, it's contributing to our burnout.
We feel so much pressure to do more. To work more, to achieve more, to be more that we feel guilty for napping or a little self-care. But there's such a thing as too much. This weekend, do yourself a favor and step away from the inbox. When there are no rules about when to work, you need to make them. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to do a mindless scroll through the 'gram. It's okay to do this:
BTW: This newsletter started from a series of conversations at my dinner table (dinner may be overselling...it was fancy frozen pizza and many bottles of rosé). Each dinner was a group of about 6 or so, friends of a friend of a friend, who came together to trade notes, offer support and share insider secrets. I called them the Badass Babes because they were the kind of girls anyone would want to be—confident, rule breaking, game changing. The conversations were so revelatory that I wanted to broaden the sisterhood and connect with young women everywhere. And so here we are. So glad you could join us!
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