Issue 62

Dear friends,

I'm here in Kanazawa on a two-week solo trip. I'm not really doing anything special here. My goal of being here - if there is one - is to be by myself and to reclaim some silence. As an antidote, I guess, to the busy-ness of my life back in Singapore.

I'm walking a lot here, since the Airbnb I live in is about, on average, 2km away from most places I wanna see around here (museums, cafes, Samurai houses, etc). I also rented a bike, although most days I still prefer to walk - the pace suits me better (and being on a bike still feels way too fast and not slow enough for me to savour the sights along the way). Most of Kanazawa is criss-crossed by rivers and streams that are embedded among residential neighbourhoods and shops, so now, after a week of being here, I hardly have to use Google Maps anymore. I simply follow the curves of the streams, knowing that as long as there is the sound of water flowing, I am on the right path towards wherever I wanna go.

I enjoy being alone here very much. And generally, I enjoy being alone anywhere very much. It's only when I am alone that I can really meet myself and hear myself. I often have the experience of feeling disoriented after spending a long time not being alone. It's almost like being surrounded by other people constantly (no matter how much I love these people) causes my internal channels to get clogged up, and for that reason it becomes difficult to know what I want. Traveling solo is a way for me to declog my internal channels, to recalibrate, to clean up my mind and find my direction again.

I wrote something related to this on Instagram awhile ago, which I still believe in:

"How would you know what is really important to you if you never have time and space to listen to yourself? How would you know what are the essential things to pursue and keep in your life if all you do is run frantically on the treadmill of life? How could you be happy if you never allow yourself to rest, to wander, to not be found by others? There are all kinds of invisible rules that imprison us to a life that we never wished for. But the rules are not real. Someone made them up. I think if we want to live a happy life we must learn to unlearn those rules and live according to what is personally important to us. But for that to happen we must first have the time and space to think, to be alone, to hear our own thoughts. We must have 'a room of one’s own'. We must have our very own well that we can climb down to whenever the noise becomes too loud, the chores become overwhelming. May you find your own room, your own well, wherever that might be."

My well is right here, wherever I am alone.

Some inspiring things

1. Doors and windows and what's real. I love Derek Sivers.

2. Currently looping: Mavis Fan. I really enjoyed her album 《赤子》when it came out 9 years ago but I've just recently started listening to all her other stuff and I'm. Blown. Away. By her talent, attitude and... her good looks, of course. Haha!

3. Currently reading: "Joyful Wisdom" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche.

4. Quote to think about: "And the end of all our exploring / will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot