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4 Responses to Difficult People
an article by Poppy Smith
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Tired and jet-lagged I waited in line to show my passport to the Immigration Officer at O’Hare Airport. I’d been up 24 hours and was facing another 4 hour flight to Oregon. Seeing no one at the open booth or coming from another area, I walked forward and produced my passport.
The female officer took my passport, stared at me, told me to look at the camera, and then launched her attack! “You should not be in this line,” she lectured me. “You’re not at the right booth. Can’t you see that people from that other line come to this booth?”
I apologized, saying I didn’t see anyone coming so I thought it was okay to step forward.
“Well, it isn’t,” she retorted. Then she got personal as I listened in amazement.
“You’re intelligent,” she said. I wasn’t going to argue with her observation and retorted, “Yes, I am.”
“Then next time you should know better” she snapped, handing me my stamped passport.
“And maybe next time there will be a sign telling me where to go,” I replied as I took my passport and walked away. Whew! What a welcome home!
Thinking about this incident, I have to admit it made me laugh. I never expected to tangle with an official at an airport—that’s not my style. I’m a Bible teacher, not out to create conflict. But it was an opportunity to grow, so I asked the Lord what would help me the next time. Here’s the advice I gained from Proverbs for when I encounter another difficult and grumpy person. Hope it helps you, too!
1. Control Your Tongue! Proverbs 11:12b. “A person of understanding holds their tongue.” As soon as you sense conflict, consciously take a deep breath and mentally step back from the issue. Choose humility and gentleness, hard as it is when confronted with difficult people. (Ephesians 4: 1-3). When we ask for those qualities, the Holy Spirit will give them--and we find it really is possible to hold our tongues!
2. Give a Soft Answer. Proverbs 15:1. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Remember your tone of voice makes a powerful statement. To defuse a conflict, lower your voice, be conciliatory instead of harsh. Ask yourself “What is this about? Is my reaction justified? Or do I just want to blow off steam?”
3. Should You Speak Up or Shut Up? Proverbs 10: 31. “The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom.” There are times to put up with someone’s negative attitude and recognize we are all human. However, there are times when a truth or principle must be upheld and speaking up is necessary. If that’s the case, it is a loving (although difficult) step to take—but let me encourage you: pray, seek God’s wisdom for what to say, and wait for the right time. “The lips of the righteous know what is fitting” Proverbs 10:32.
4. Remember You Represent Christ. Proverbs 29:23. “A person’s pride brings him low, but a person of lowly spirit gains honor.” When we feel disrespected or mistreated, it’s easy to react from our old nature and respond in the same way. But, as Christians, we are Christ’s ambassadors, His representatives to those around us. In difficult encounters with grumpy or rude people, let’s remember Whose we are and respond in ways that bring calm, respect, and healing. (2 Corinthians 5: 17-21).
Do you encounter difficult people in your work, in your family, or in rushing through daily life? Pray about how the Lord wants you to respond. Then thank Him that His power can calm you down and help you say what honors Him.
Blessings,
Poppy
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Poppy Smith is a former Bible Study Fellowship Teacher, has a Masters in Spiritual Formation and Direction, and loves to teach the Word. Her passion is helping women thrive spiritually, emotionally, and personally through her ministry of speaking wherever God leads, writing spiritually motivating books, and spending time supporting women as a spiritual director. She currently writes a twice-monthly blog, THRIVE, that is regularly read by 1,000 women across the globe. Her website can be found at: www.poppysmith.com
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IGNITE the Wonder:
Breakout Podcasts and Outlines!
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Hi Ladies!
We wanted you to know that we sent out an e-mail this week with the link to the IGNITE the Wonder breakout podcasts! However, we realized that the e-mail was only sent to 168 of the 440 women who registered online for IGNITE. This technical difficulty occurred because only 168 of the women checked a box upon registration to IGNITE that allows us to send e-mails to them. Unfortunately, its a privacy issue that we can't bypass through the website that allows us to send out the e-mail to all registrants.
SO! In order to try to get the e-mail link out to as many of the ladies who attended IGNITE we wanted to reach out via our newsletter and have you send us an e-mail at wcm@westernseminary.edu if you attended IGNITE but did not receive the link to the breakout podcasts and/or outlines and would like to!
We also wanted to let any women who did not attend IGNITE the Wonder, but would like the link to 19 breakout podcasts and/or outlines, we can send you the link for just $10 You can also e-mail us at wcm@westernseminary.edu for more information!
Thank you again for your patience as we made the podcasts ready for your listening pleasure!
Amanda and Phyllis
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Fall 2019 Women's Transformational Leadership Classes!
Read below to learn how to apply and take classes through Western Seminary!
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WL 502 // Women in Pain, Part 1
Increasing awareness of experiences that cause a painful crisis in women’s lives enables one to offer strategic pastoral care and referral when needed. Issues discussed in this course will include domestic violence, eating disorders, post-abortion stress, and depression. In addition to the in-class topics, other issues students may choose to explore via a reflection/research paper could include same-sex attraction, sexual abuse, suicide, widowhood, and pornography. Students learn how, from a biblical basis, to help women grieve losses, begin a transition to health, and secure professional help when needed. 1 credit.
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TO TAKE WL502 FOR GRADUATE CREDIT:
- Graduate Credit Application Deadline: July 1st (final deadline)
- Cost for Graduate Credit: $585
- Application: If you have not yet applied to Western Seminary, you can do so on our website, or by clicking this link here
TO TAKE WL502 FOR AUDIT/ENRICHMENT (NON-CREDIT):
- Prerequisite: High school diploma or GED
- Applications due: One week prior to the first class meeting date.
- Cost to Audit: $120
- To Enroll: Click Here! (This option allows you to take classes to earn a certificate).
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Instructor: LaSondra Barnes
Location: Western Seminary Portland Campus
5511 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Portland, OR 97215
Dates: October 18-19th, 2019
9:00am - 4:30pm
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In Sacramento and San Jose:
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WL 507 // Develop Life-Changing Bible Study Curriculum
Learn how to write, select and adapt Bible study curriculum that is biblically sound, relevant, and applicable to all areas of life. Grow in confidence in training discussion leaders to shepherd biblically stimulating and relationally healthy small groups. Glean an overview of training curriculum-writing teams that can create materials appropriate for the neighborhood and/or church-based Bible studies. 1 credit.
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TO TAKE WL507 FOR GRADUATE CREDIT:
- Graduate Credit Application Deadline: July 1st (final deadline)
- Cost for Graduate Credit: $585
- Application: If you have not yet applied to Western Seminary, you can do so on our website, or by clicking this link here
TO TAKE WL507 FOR AUDIT/ENRICHMENT (NON-CREDIT):
- Prerequisite: High school diploma or GED
- Applications due: One week prior to the first class meeting date.
- Cost to Audit: $120
- To Enroll: Click Here! (This option allows you to take classes to earn a certificate).
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Instructor: Ashley Ploen
Location: Sacramento Campus
290 Technology Way, Ste. 200
Rocklin, CA 95765
Dates: October 4-5th, 2019
9:00am - 4:30pm
Instructor: Ashley Ploen
Location: San Jose Campus
1000 South Park Victoria Drive
Milpitas, CA 95035
Dates: October 18-19th, 2019
9:00am - 4:30pm
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Contact us! We'd love to hear from you!
Women's Center for Ministry at Western Seminary
Phyllis Bennett, Director
Amanda Zentz, Administrative Assistant
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Email: wcm@westernseminary.edu
Phone: 503.517.1931
Fax: 503.517.1889
5511 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Portland, OR 97215
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