a note from nina

We are keeping it short and sweet, this week. The weekend included hanging out with my favorite mini people at their Chuck E. Cheese birthday, crying over movies, late night jam sessions, and too much upper lip sweat. Onto some odds and ends:

1. Both beautifully written and gutting:

   "I need you to know: I hated that I needed more than this from him. There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.

   These were small things, and I told myself it was stupid to feel disappointed by them. I had arrived in my thirties believing that to need things from others made you weak. I think this is true for lots of people but I think it is especially true for women. When men desire things they are “passionate.” When they feel they have not received something they need they are “deprived,” or even “emasculated,” and given permission for all sorts of behavior. But when a woman needs she is needy. She is meant to contain within her own self everything necessary to be happy.

   That I wanted someone to articulate that they loved me, that they saw me, was a personal failing and I tried to overcome it."

2. 50,000 swizzle sticks. A melamine Chinese plate with a story to tell. Helpful scripts for artfully saying no to invites. More scripts, but on dealing with shitty behavior: "Stop framing a situation where a dude is behaving badly as a situation where you need to try harder to excuse or endure or engage with him."
    
3. Making the most of your professional decline, a deep and curious long read.
    
4. Sharing your resources with the Hawaii Community Bail Fund is one way to support the protectors of Mauna a Wākea.
    
5. The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters is a quick summer read, managing to be simultaneously breezy and serious. This rosehip oil has been a good addition to my skincare routine (lol, if you can even call it that!).