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"Man, it's a hot one, Like seven inches from the midday sun."
Rob Thomas & Santana
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And lo, the Lord declared his anger at the great city of Manhattan, and sent his plagues upon the people.

But the lowly citizens of New York were unfazed by pestilence – rats, roaches, and festering garbage were but a daily inconvenience. So he took away their power instead. That'll show them, saith the Lord, as he pulled the plug. But, while they missed their cellphone reception and their AC, New Yorkers stood firm and survived the blackout, thanks to candles, and light sabers, and a little Broadway magic.

Next, the Lord sent thunder. His anger rained upon New York City. It soaked through their pants and flooded their subways and ruined their hair. It blew their umbrellas inside out. But New York just went to a bar and waited it out.

Behold, I give you fire, declared the Lord. And he sent the sun to burn down on the people. The temperature soared to over 100 and the humidity hit 84 per cent. But the people kept their cool. They wore sunscreen and stayed hydrated. Because New Yorkers know that heatstroke is A Thing and they're not stupid.

Stay safe this weekend, my friends. It's going to be hotter than Hades.
TICKET GIVEAWAY

How are you entertaining the kids this summer? By asking me nicely for free tickets to Gazillion Bubble Show, that's how. I've got them. You want them. Just email me at tickets@w42st.com before Monday at 6pm and I'll choose the lucky winners at random. Simple. Who doesn't like bubbles?

BEST LIFE CALENDAR

TONIGHT
Free Friday, The Intrepid Museum, 5pm-8.30pm
Stargazing on the flight deck, a pop-up planetarium, and a screening of First Man when the sun disappears over the New Jersey horizon. And it’s all free, my friends. Won’t you join us? Find out more.

Gin Craze Festival, The Morgan, 6pm-9pm
Inspired by the Gin Craze of the 1750s, sample gin-inspired bites, craft cocktails, talks, and a screening of the 1946 film Bedlam. Find out more. 

Bard in the Park, Clinton Cove, 7pm
A free performance of Shakespeare by the river. Find out more.

Orchestra of St Luke’s, DiMenna Center, 7.30pm
Four new works by four emerging composers, performed for your listening pleasure. Find out more.

TOMORROW
Ice Cream Blizzard, Grand Bazaar, 10am-5.30pm

Apparently it’s National Ice Cream Day. Like you needed an excuse. The best and most unique artisanal ice cream makers will be at the UWS market, offering up flavors you may never have heard of. Find out more.

Skyline kayak tour, Manhattan Kayak + SUP, 1.30pm
It’s going to be hot hot hot! Which means the only place you want to be is on the river. This tour is open to complete novices like me. Find out more.

Ozyfest, Central Park, all weekend
Two days of conversation, comedy, and music on the Great Lawn, with people like Trevor Noah, John Legend, Spike Lee, and Malcolm Gladwell (plus unlimited free water, misting fans, shaded areas, heat relief tents, sunscreen dispensers, and ice stations). Find out more.

Defend The North, New Yorker, all weekend
Twenty four-hour gaming, inside, in AC. Find out more.

Coney Island Music Festival, 3pm-10pm
Bands and beers at the beach. What more could you ask for? Find out more.

To the Moon, Upright Citizens Brigade, 7pm
Oops! I gave you the wrong date for this last week. But you knew that anyway, right? Our friends at Intrepid, including former NASA astronaut Mike Massimino, team up with comedians at UCB for a fun evening of science, history, and improv to mark the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Find out more.

SUNDAY
Block Party, Rubin Museum, 1pm-4pm
A free celebration with art and activities for all ages. Make a stress ball. Take part in guided meditation. Learn origami. Find out more.

SNOB, The Row NYC, 7pm-midnight
The monthly gathering of Broadway peeps is back, and this month we’re celebrating co-founder Emily’s birthday. Come and cool down with good people. Find out more.

MONDAY
Tai chi, Pier 84, 6.30pm
Find some zen – and balance – by the water. Find out more.

Light in the Darkness, Birdland, 7pm
The cast of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - including the boy who lived himself, James Snyder, perform a variety show to benefit the non-profit Lumos, founded by JK Rowling. Find out more.

W55th St Block Association meeting, 7pm-9pm
A chance to find out about plans for a new building at 806 9th Ave, with guest, CB4’s Joe Restuccia. Find out more. 

Broadway Rising Stars, The Town Hall, 7.30pm
Tony winner and former Broadway Rising Star Ali Stroker introduces the faces and voices to watch from this year’s most talented graduates. Find out more.

Remembering Prince, City Winery, 9.30pm
As part of City Winery’s 10th anniversary, it is celebrating the legacy of 10 artists who have played there and are no longer with us. This event is all about His Purpleness. Find out more. 

TUESDAY
Yoga, Bella Abzug Park, 6pm
Stretch out the stresses of the day in the shadow of The Vessel. For free! Find out more.

Unlazy Workshop, The Artist Coop, 7pm
Learn the basics of watercolor sketching. Find out more.

WEDNESDAY
Cady Huffman, The Green Room 42, 7pm
Miss Peggy Lee is brought to life before your very eyes. Find out more.

Soul at the Center, Damrosch Park, 7pm
Lincoln Center’s free Out of Doors festival begins with Grammy-winner Lalah Hathaway performing the classic songs of her father, the legendary Donny Hathaway. Find out more.

The Democratic Debates, Upright Citizens Brigade, 10.30pm
Mimi wants universal healthcare, but only for women and cats. She supports a ban on fracking, but also a ban on knowing what fracking is. Find out more. 

THURSDAY
Summer Nights, Hudson Yards, 5pm-9pm
Food trucks, an art installation, and a free sunset performance by R&B artist Amber Mark. Find out more.

Mix Tape double feature, Film at Lincoln Center, 6pm
Two classic movies for the price of one. Which, in this case, is absolutely nada. This week’s offering: Luchino Visconti’s Palme d’Or–winning The Leopard, and Alice Rohrwacher’s Happy as Lazzaro. Find out more.

Speakeasy Magick, McKittrick Hotel, 8pm
Close up magic hosted by Todd Robbins and featuring a roster of the city’s most mind-boggling magicians. Find out more.

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