When a Crash Becomes a Call to Self-Compassion
“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind
Yes, I Crashed into MY OWN GARAGE.
I've parked my car in the garage a million times. But a couple Sunday afternoons ago, when I rounded the odd-shaped entrance to my garage, I heard a very loud, very shocking CRUNCH.
Immediately braking and immediately breaking into a fierce, cold sweat, I stopped.
What just happened? What was that terrible noise?
Afraid to get out of the car, I froze. Did I just run over someone?
Finally, I braced myself and opened my car door. I ambled around to see what on earth just happened.
I ran into the frame of our garage door and wrecked the heck out of the right back side of the car.
With absolutely NO hesitation, I instantly began berating myself.
I choose berate carefully, as it defines my self-talk perfectly. It means, "to scold or condemn vehemently and at length."
Notice, and at length.
Yes, I Crashed into MY LIMITATIONS
I'm really good at helping others learn to love themselves.
Me? Not quite. Haven't mastered that skill yet.
My first reaction, post-panic-and-nausea, was seeing my husband's face when he opened the garage door to see what caused such a loud noise in the garage.
"I'm so sorry," I said. "I can't believe I just did this and have no earthly idea how it happened."
In typical Rob-fashion, he said, "It was an accident. Accidents happen." He offered me the grace I so desperately needed at that moment.
You see, just that week, I had been called into my GI doctor's office to discuss his concerns about a recent blood test. My red blood count not quite right. It seems my body's low iron level needs to be addressed. For some reason, he and a hematologist, needed to find out the "why."
As a result of this low iron level, I had been completely fatigued. Worn plum out. Yet, I marched forward and continued carrying a full load of life.
I'm an overcomer. Pressing on and pressing through are my jam. I know you understand.
YES, I Offered Myself SELF-COMPASSION
After apologizing five thousand times, my husband finally said, "Janell, would you feel better if I got really angry at you?"
"I suppose so," I said.
"Stop apologizing," he said, again. "It was an accident. We'll get it fixed. No problem. Relax."
Offering myself self-compassion and grace is a new practice in my life.
Join Me This Week as I Talk More About Self-Compassion
I don't think I am alone on this "being kind to myself" journey. I sit across from women on a daily basis that feel the same exact way. Their weary voices speak loud and clear. To help us all out, I'll be focusing this week's podcast + blog on this important practice. Join me. If you haven't already subscribed, do so right now:
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Leave a REVIEW of the podcast and/or my book, Overcoming Hurtful Words (on amazon.com), and I'll enter you into the raffle, too. Every review creates a stronger algorithm on amazon.com and soundcloud.com, which increases the "visibility" of both podcast and book. Send me an email, janell@janellrardon.com, and I'll enter your name into the raffle. It's going to be worth your time and effort, I promise.
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