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Margaret Crandall

Issue 99

"Fine I won't give up but I will cuss the entire time"

Here’s a very short story about something that happened more than 30 years ago:

In the mid-80s, I think sometime during my freshman year of high school, I got a drastic haircut. Really short in the back and on the sides, a little longer on top. Like a little white boy. I don’t remember why I wanted this haircut, but I do remember feeling nervous in the chair at Harlow Hair Salon in Washington, DC, while my friends chanted “Go, Werner, go!” at the German or Austrian salon owner as he started buzzing the back of my head with his clippers. The end result looked pretty good. At least, until I discovered hair gel.

And here’s a very short story about yesterday:

I left the house early, got my ass handed to me by my personal trainer, drove directly from there to an organizing client, filled up my car with tons of her shit for Goodwill, stopped by my post office to sign for and pick up my dog’s ashes, drove home to find FedEx had delivered my dead mother’s jewelry, unloaded my car, cried for 5 minutes (about my dog, not my mom), and then took a cab to therapy.

I got into bed at 7:30 last night because I was physically and emotionally exhausted and fuck everything. But instead of dreaming about my dog, my mother, or even Goodwill, I dreamed about my HAIR. Because I’m some kind of narcissist? I’ll have to ask the therapist. In the dream, I was sitting in a lobby, waiting for my regular hair person to come get me for our standard every-other-month appointment. But she had been called away suddenly, and Werner – from Harlow Hair Salon 30+ years ago – was filling in for her. I panicked, because I was scared to tell him I wanted pink hair. Because that would mean he would have to cut off all my hair again, except for the 1-2 inches of grey that would soon turn hot pink. I woke up right when I saw Werner coming into the lobby to get me.

And then I looked at Instagram, where the first post I saw was a friend in the East Bay who – no lie! – just dyed her hair hot pink. OK fine, add to cart. Here goes nothing.

 

Good stuff

 

For next week


Who’s got a good hair story? Did you ever shave your head in a fit of rage? Try to dye it blonde but it turned out green? Decide to cut your kid brother’s hair and cut his ear so badly there was blood everywhere (true story)? A perm gone awry in the 80s? As always, you can reply directly to this email and anything I share will be anonymous.
 

Pass it on


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