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👎 Picky Eaters 👎
You're working hard to put healthy food on the table. You find recipes loaded with veggies and quality protein. You're feeling proud to be a good role model and instilling healthy habits for the whole family.
You get ready to enjoy some quality time together to create warm, loving dinnertime memories.
But then enters..dun.dun.dun...the picky eater. The arguing, tantrums, and frustration ensue.
Most families have one (or a few) picky eaters and it can feel very discouraging to build healthy habits when you're met with so much resistance.
So let's talk about a few strategies to deal with this dilemma:
Consistency. As you set some guidelines for your family, be sure to stay consistent. Choose boundaries that are important to you. Choose boundaries that you can and will stick with. Slot machines are enticing because you hope for the possibility of that winning result. Kids are no different, if there is a chance they think they'll get their way, they'll persist. And damn... they can be persistent!
Here are a few expectations to set around mealtime, to make it an enjoyable experience again:
Show appreciation. Encourage your kids to say please and thank you for the foods that were provided. Recognize the thought and effort that went into the meal. Use good manners. Adults should model this too ;) This is an easy win to set the tone for mealtime.
A no-thank-you bite. A no-thank-you bite asks your kids to try, without the expectation to finish the food.
Everyone has different tastes they enjoy and dislike, and that's okay. By encouraging a kid to take a no-thank-you bite, we empower them to say no to foods they don't want, while exposing them to a variety of tastes and textures. Kids will be more likely to try new foods when they aren't forced to finish it. Approach it as something to explore, rather than something THEY.MUST.FINISH.
And on a side note, I can't tell you how many adults struggle to say no thank you to food that is presented to them. The pressure to accept and consume every piece of food that comes our way is unreal. This pressure starts in childhood and I think there is a better way.
Turn up the good, turn down the suck. I have a pretty good idea of which foods my family likes and which foods they'll struggle with. When I know I'll be presenting my kids with a food they'll find absolutely disgusting (their words, not mine... yeah, we're still working on the manners thing...) I'll be sure to incorporate other foods they DO like. If they HATE fish, be sure to serve it with a vegetable and a fruit that they love.
This is helpful for multiple reasons:
1- Your kid won't go to bed hungry if they don't like part of what's for dinner. This is probably the top worry that I get from parents.
2- It builds momentum. You don't have to start mealtime with a fight because there is something there that are looking forward to eating and sometimes this can lighten the mood just enough that they will be more willing to try something new.
3- It builds a tolerance. Some kids freak out just seeing something on their plate they don't like. Allowing it to sit next to foods they do enjoy makes the "gross" food seem just a little less evil.
Limit snacking Although this seems obvious, it's something that we often forget about. If a kid is not hungry, you're going to have a hard time getting them to try something.
Meal Structure. As much as possible include- a protein, a quality carb, a vegetable, and healthy fat at each meal.
Kids thrive on structure. Seeing a veggie at every meal creates a habit that lasts a lifetime. And don't worry, a handful of baby carrots or canned green beans is just fine! You don't have to be a gourmet cook to consistently provide healthy family-friendly meals.
Self serve. When possible, allow your kids to serve themselves. You can create rules that they must try everything or one of each food group, but they get to serve their own food. Young kids might need a little more help with this, but it's a great way to help create awareness of the foods they are choosing (and great for building those fine motor skills and understanding volume for our preschoolers). This is also an opportunity to create a discussion around hunger and fullness, the benefits of choosing healthy foods, and discussions around likes and dislikes.
Overall, we see resistance when we give our kids something to resist against. I'm not saying we let our kids do whatever they want at mealtime, rather, find ways to give them as much autonomy as possible while providing strong, unwavering boundaries.
If you need help incorporating healthy habits for your entire family, let me know. I'm happy to help :)
Nikki Strong, RD, PN2
P.S. If you want a break from cooking (and the kids) check out my Pura Vida Retreat in Costa Rica that will take place in January 2020: http://bit.ly/PuraVidaRetreat2020
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