The first year I taught indoor cycling, I showed up to every class a little terrified. What if I talked too much? What if I didn’t talk enough? What if I didn’t look fit enough (read: skinny enough) to be taken seriously? What if the hot instructor attended my class?
I’d started taking spin when I was 23, hoping it would turn me into the kind of person who exercised at 6am and arrived at work on time, showered, and energized. Also, I had a running injury and a crush on the hot instructor.
One day after class, the gym manager asked if I’d be interested in teaching. I’d seen her flexing her sculpted-looking muscles many times but didn’t think she knew I existed. “I think you’d be really good at it,” she said.
I was astonished and secretly thrilled. It never occurred to me that she might have been short-staffed or that perhaps that she’d get a cut for each person who paid for the certification the gym would be hosting in a few weeks — the same certification that was required to start my new gig.
Since then, I’ve taught hundreds of spin classes at nearly a dozen different facilities. It took a while, but I stopped worrying about whether people will like me, my playlists, or or my workout. (Turns out, it’s a lot easier and more fun to teach when you’re not scared everyone will hate you!)
This weekend I taught for the first time since the pandemic started. After a two-plus year break, it was a major hassle to re-apply for the job, complete the mountains of paperwork, and to learn the new gyms’ payment and scheduling software systems. More than once I asked myself, “Why am I doing this?”
During the summer of 2020, when nearly everything fitness was shut down or outside, I started meeting up with one of my spin class regulars for weekly hill repeats. One morning she told me I was the reason she kept coming back to spin class, that she started riding a road bike, and felt empowered to use clipless pedals.
I was blown away. “ME?” I asked her. “Yes, you,” she told me. “You always made me feel seen.” I’m not sure I’ve ever received a better compliment. It's true though, that I always learn people’s names, greet every single person with a smile, and thank everyone for coming on their way out, whether they're a former pro cyclist (because Boulder) or a total beginner.
As sweat pooled under my helmet, my suspicions were confirmed: My classes didn’t need me to play all their favorite songs or look like a fitness model. They didn’t need an epic workout every single time.
They didn't expect me to be perfect. It was okay to simply be myself and offer my own gifts (including a weird knack for memorizing names, an insatiable curiosity about other people, and a proclivity for 90s hip hop and Stevie Nicks remixes).
You don’t need to be perfect, either. The gifts people will remember you for will never be your “perfect” weight, your "perfect" abs, or your “perfect” diet. If you need help letting go of all that pressure, just hit reply. (Learn more about what I can offer as an intuitive eating coach here.)
If you have an hour: Taneika Duhaney is a single mom and a well-known gravel cyclist who lives (and thrives!!) with an autoimmune condition. She told me our interview on Real Fit was her most vulnerable yet.
If you have nothing good to read on your nightstand: Know My Name by Chanel Miller is a breathtaking memoir about power, privilege, bodies, and trauma.
The Real Fit podcast features real conversations with women athletes on topics like body image, enoughness, and more.
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