Hello church, my name is Andrew, and I’m the Youth Director at Saint David’s. My sense is that a lot of our church community does not quite know what Youth Group looks like or why we do the things we do, so I’d like to give you all a little window into this part of your church! Our ragtag group of students and youth leaders meets on the second and fourth Sundays of the month down in the Fireside Room for Youth Group.

After some time for icebreakers, the main thing we do is called “roses and thorns.” The idea is that life is rarely all good or all bad. There can be some “roses” amidst a “thorny” season and vice versa. We start this time by reminding everyone that what is said in the room stays in the room (with the obvious exception of certain safety issues). Everyone gets to talk about the important things going on in their lives: things that are difficult, things that are wonderful, a person’s latest projects or dreams, relationship updates, and more.

I wonder what roses and thorns you would share from this week. What is life like for you these days?

While each person shares, the rest of the group focuses on one thing: listening really well. We don’t fix, offer advice, make it about ourselves, or move on too quickly. It’s that simple! Research shows that teens often experience intense stress, pain, and tension without ever really feeling safe to bring these concerns to people other than their friends. Our youth group is focused on being a unique space where students can safely bring their true selves and feel heard.

I wonder who the people are in your life that can simply listen to whatever is going on. What is it like to feel heard? Are there people who get that feeling from you?

Also, our leaders share about themselves too, because a silent observer can feel more judgmental than empathetic. It takes vulnerability, but we all participate in making this safe and authentic community together. I hope that continues to happen for our students at Saint David’s, and that the same is true for our whole church community too. May we continue to find genuine connection, offer it to others, and co-create a place of bravery and radical acceptance.