Five years ago, after more than twenty-five years of making sex education videos, I started asking people to film their own videos. This resulted in people sending me over 300 documentary-style sex videos where only the person or couple having sex was present. I would like to share with you three of the most inspiring and awesome solo sex videos that arrived in my Dropbox.
I had never seen a video of an erotic body scan…until now. Thank you, Jack. And I doubt that you will ever see solo sex videos of non-binary folk more inspiring, jaw-dropping and awesome. Thank you, Pawel and Rob*in.
These three sessions are free to you and your clients during June (Queer Pride Month). My expectation is that these videos will transform how you and your clients masturbate.
Jack, Pawel and Rob*in are skilled erotic self-regulators, having spent years placing attention on their bodies during their solo sex sessions. Their present explorations rely on skills learned in past sessions. All three practitioners are comfortable standing and moving while playing with their arousal. They have also learned to speak aloud what is happening in their bodies as it is happening. (This is one type of mindfulness practice). Jack has the ability to access his favorite level of arousal (six) and maintain that level of arousal for prolonged periods.
Practice: Scanning your Body Electric
For the last seven years, my favorite body scan has been Daniel Siegel’s Wheel of Awareness. There are dozens of versions of this meditation on Youtube, but I recommend the free 30-minute version on his website. (Requires enrolling). I like Siegel’s scan because it brings attention to dimensions of embodiment that other scans don’t.
This year almost all my body scanning has involved this Jon Kabat-Zinn 30-minute scan. YouTube has many shorter and longer variations on this same body scan from Dr. Kabat-Zinn.
Practice: The Wonder of Hands Free Arousal
Change the way you masturbate, change your life. If you choose to explore masturbating assisted by an anchored Fleshlight or Magic Wand, give yourself three to five sessions to get over the awkwardness before you discern the potential of this practice for your future. The best hands free video demonstrations are in the Embodied Porn Watching section. Especially recommended is an hour-long hands-free session from Erotic Body Scan Jack (requires membership).
Practice: Following Pleasure There Where It Leads
pawel PÁW MÈOW dudus is an ecstatic, celebrating the wonder of being alive. Why not try out a couple chapters from their Book of Self Love? The numb or sleeping parts of your body might appreciate a “hello” during your play session. Perhaps, break out the gratitude lotion for a sensuous, loving finale.
The Value of Others in Solo Sex
As sex educators, you can be quite helpful to your clients by recommending various ways other people might be supportive of your clients’ solo practice practices. Jack and Rob*in valued and deepened their solo sex practices through working with an arousal coach.
Being witnessed by non-judgmental friends (in person, on camera, or on Zoom) increases attention and mindfulness. I encourage solo sex practices in my Zoom classes by having participants plan together their erotic sessions. They then turn off Zoom to practice privately and return afterwards to share about their experiences.
Strozzi Somatics
Both my personal life and my teaching have been enriched over the last two years by the Strozzi approach to somatic learning. I highly recommend the Strozzi Institute’s Community Dojo offering free practice sessions, both live and archived - with such luminaries as Staci Haines, Richard Strozzi-Heckler and Alta Starr. Enroll here.
Sex educators can access more somatic wisdom from this tradition in Richard Strozzi-Heckler’s “The Art of Somatic Coaching” and in Staci Haines’ “The Politics of Trauma: Somatics, Healing and Social Justice.” Staci Haines’ film about sexual trauma and abuse is used in the training of Sexological Bodyworkers to help them become trauma-informed. This film is available for your enrichment at OrgasmicYoga.com.
Kramer Somatics
You will find a wealth of free erotic massage videos and articles on my websites. Check out the resources and blog on EroticMassage.com and the Gateway Practices section of OrgasmicYoga.com. Become a member. Perhaps you might learn one A+ way of touching your own genitals that you will use almost daily for the rest of your life. The sexeducatormembership to both websites together is $199 for five years or $99 for one year til the end of June.
