Last week, I wrote about the importance of talking positively to your subconscious. Instead of “don’t think about junk food,” tell yourself “think about healthy food.” Instead of “don’t mess this up,” tell yourself “be confident.” Instead of what you don’t want, tell yourself what you do.
But speaking in the affirmative to yourself doesn’t mean you should think positively always. And positive thinking isn’t always the most productive.
This weekend in Iowa, my family was hosting two back-to-back parties. A lot goes into the party planning process, and we were preparing food, decorating, and arranging the room until the very last minute.
I was watching most of the chaos from afar, helping where I could. Still, the day-of for both parties filled me with a sense of overwhelm. There were so many things to do and not enough time to do all of them—where were you supposed to start?
One of the concepts that helped ground us was thinking about what we did not want. Unfed guests or a lackluster venue? No guest book or no streamers? Whatever we didn’t want the most was what we would focus on first.
In stoicism, philosophers talk about the importance of inversion as premeditatio malorum, or the premeditation of evils. You figure out what the worst case scenario is and then prepare yourself for that.
This lends itself to anti-goals. When we think about what we do want, it’s overwhelming—we want everything. Anti-goals help us move forward by giving us an order of prioritization. Your anti-goals are the most undesirable outcomes, the situations you definitely want to avoid. After drafting your anti-goals, you can create a plan based on avoiding them.
Anti-goals aren’t always necessary. And at their worst, they can incite paranoia and anxiety. The key is to use them as an antidote to overwhelm while maintaining a positive stream of conscious. Know the negative, but think in the affirmative.
