The Karate Kid and Me
Dear <<First Name>>,
I turned 14 the summer of The Karate Kid and suspect I watched it at least that many times by the time I graduated high school. I wanted Mr. Miyagi's clarity, Daniel LaRusso's tenacity, and Ali-with-an-i Mills's confidence (and gorgeous hair).
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Weirdly, though, I just shrugged when the streaming series Cobra Kai that came out four years ago. The show's premise is that the movie's high school characters are now in their 50's and still not over their high school rivalry. I suspected the stars Ralph Macchio and Billy Zabka wanted to relive their glory days or bemoan aging, and hey, who doesn't?
But they were not going to do it on my nostalgia dime. Thanks but no thanks, I said, even during quarantine when folks of all ages were escaping into the sweet joy of this show.
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Then, this month, my husband and I hit a TV rut. Ted Lasso is making us wait for the next season. This is Us is over. So, fine, let's get it over with, I said. Let's see what Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence have been up to.
OMG. Why did I wait so long???
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The storytelling is clever, the pop culture references are delightful, the humor is subtle, and the social commentary on our changing times and norms is brillliant. The show even acknowledges its past and present cultural appropriation and whitewashing problem. Macchio and Zabka are not fixated on growing old; they are fixated on growing.
My dear good people, I love this show.
Which brings us to this newsletter.
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Frozen at Age 14
In my life, my work, and my newsletter, I am striving to let go of my Karate Kid-like view of being a good person. In that view and movie, either you are or you are not a good person, and whatever your definition of good person is, it got frozen in time when you were 14.
Instead, I am aspiring to be more like Cobra Kai, in which the characters are (sometimes) evolving with the times, striving for better, and willing to own and let go of the norms (and fashion choices) of the past. I am realizing that Daniel was the villain in Johnny's story, that no one perspective is the whole story. I am noticing how stuff that was normal in our youth was really not so inclusive at all.
Cobra Kai is for the grownups - the good-ish people - we are striving to be.
That is what I have been trying to do in the Dear Good People newsletter since I started it two years ago.
Origin Story
I have been doing scholarly research about bias for 21 years, driven by my own desire to understand how/why I'm not always as good a person as I'd like to be (ugh ugh ugh) and what to do about it. In 2018, I expanded from publishing in academic journals to writing books for general audiences. My book publisher suggested I also write an email newsletter for my readers but I resisted. Who needs more emails?
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Then, after the murder of George Floyd two years ago, many of us who are researchers in this area found ourselves inundated by people wanting to learn. Maybe my publisher was right.
Maybe some people would find motivation in a newsletter that helps us do better on issues that fill us with rage or despair while using joy and laughter as fuel. Maybe some people are searching for bite-sized lessons and evidence-based tools in an accessible, zeitgeisty way. Maybe it was time for me to try.
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Time for a Recap
Here we are, two years later. I now realize that Cobra Kai and Dear Good People are about the same thing: growing. Whether this is your first issue or your 24th of Dear Good People, here is a second anniversary recap.
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Your Three Favorite Issues
These three issues were your favorites. Interestingly, when I wrote each of these, I was feeling depleted and discouraged. Each issue speaks to a desire for something better, and perhaps that is the heart of Dear Good People: working towards the “better” in ourselves and the world around us.
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From My Heart
As I read over the past issues, I noticed that I have been more vulnerable with each issue. Being “good-ish” means sharing our mistakes, questions, and learnings. I thank you for letting me be public and vulnerable with my growth mindset, and for responding in kind.
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Tools You Can Use Today
In every issue, I try to give readers things they can do and tools they can use. Here are some tools that readers have found particularly helpful and that I use on a regular basis myself.
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Reading and Watching Recommendations
Whatever form of content is your thing for entertainment and education, there are great opportunities to diversify and learn from that content. I’m mostly a book/movies/tv type of girl and love to share what I’m learning. I find myself more adventurous when I am sharing with others. Maybe you do too?
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Reactions to the News
Sadly, the types of topics (biases) I study and write about are in the news on a daily basis. So, Dear Good People is always “current.” Sometimes, I feel compelled to address the news head-on as I did in these two pieces (on anti-Asian hate and Juneteenth awareness, respectively). It helps me go from being a helpless bystander to an engaged participant.
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Rules to Live By
Life is busy and complicated. Sometimes, it helps to have some life rules to keep us on track as good-ish people. Here are two rules readers tell me they use often. Ironically, they are from the first and second issues of Dear Good People in the summer of 2020. I think about these rules on a daily basis.
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New Ways of Thinking
Just as we upgrade our skills and knowledge in our jobs and hobbies, we can do the same when it comes to being an inclusive person. I found the thought experiments and metaphors in these two issues helpful in my own thinking upgrades.
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Tied to My (and Your) Obsessions
Having my own newsletter has given me the chance to gush about my obsessions … all with a stay-with-me connection back to the work of being good-ish. The funner the connection, the stickier the lesson … for you and me. Thanks for indulging my love of Cocoa, Worldle, This is Us, Ted Lasso, and yes, Cobra Kai!
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Two years later
That is how I remember those past issues thematically. I also like a good old fashioned chronological recap, so here are all the past issues, listed in reverse order of appearance.
Update from Book Land
The good folks at Simon and Schuster tell me that my manuscript for A More Just Future will be rolling off the presses soon this summer. If you plan to check out my next book when it is released in the fall, consider pre-ordering it now as early purchases help shape important production and inventory decisions in the publishing industry.
In the meantime, we are working on the audiobook for A More Just Future. I will be in a recording studio most of this coming week narrating the text. As a huge fan of audiobooks read aloud by the author, I am very excited. I am busy practicing not sounding bored by my own writing, avoiding fizzy drinks, and stocking up on green apple slices (who knew?!)! Wish me luck! |
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Let’s keep growing
I love connecting with Dear Good People readers so please feel free to click the icons below to send me a note. I'd love for this free, accessible content to reach as many hearts and minds as possible ... do forward, post, and tweet the newsletter - links are below. We are currently reaching almost 8000 subscribers. Wouldn't it be amazing to grow our community to 10,000?!
If this was forwarded to you by someone, you can sign up below for a free subscription. No spam, no sharing your info, I promise.
Wax on, wax off, and thanks for growing with me,
 
This month's artwork credits from top: Katie Sutton (logo), Columbia Pictures (movie poster), screencrush.com (then and now pics), Tina Witherspoon via unsplash (nightstand), Tippman98x via Shutterstock (woman), Suad Kamardeen@unsplash (woman reaching for books), Evelyn Parker (graphic), Brett Topel (Dolly), NYU Stern (Dolly teaching students), Pic Collage, various photos and quotes designed by Canva Pro, studio team (recording studio).
Acknowledgements and Thanks:
Many thanks to Katie Sutton and Evelyn Parker, without whom this newsletter would not exist. They are the model of conviction and dedication! Welcome to Anna McMullen who has recently joined the team and instantly innovated to improve the process and output of DGP.
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![Bright colored picture of a urban neighborhood street with a black woman wearing a dashiki and moving away from the camera, with a Pan-African flag flying behind her. Over the top is the quote: "This is a true eye-opener for people like me, [to] understand ... Thank you and please continue to share what needs to be shared!"](https://mcusercontent.com/f881146700e09f49303435ca1/images/90b34d2a-d465-904c-0ab1-c5be4e72f7b4.png)
