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This issue is all about the ScootSki movement, that Third Eye Blind rumor, a hot thing men do, and some sexual investigations.

The ‘ScootSki’ King on the Joy of Riding Jet Skis Converted Into Scooters

 

When the world went into quarantine two years ago, some people started baking bread or doing puzzles. But Kevin Eves, a trained electrical engineer in North Carolina, decided to tinker with the natural order. “A few years prior, I’d seen a YouTube video of a kid in Florida riding a jet ski up and down the street as a scooter and knew I could build one better than that. I just never had time,” he tells me. “So when COVID hit and there was nothing to do, I set out to build the ‘jet ski thing-y’ — I didn’t have a name for it back then.” 

 

Fusing together two natural but completely different vehicles — one for land, one for sea — was a recipe for pure chaos, but Eves threw all caution to the wind. Without any semblance of an instruction manual or someone to guide him, he bought “an old 50cc scooter off Facebook Marketplace for cheap.” “Then I went and bought somebody’s broken jet ski they were trying to give away,” he says. “I started working on it that day, and a couple of days later, I was done.”


Again, only a madman would ever consider riding a jet ski on land or a scooter by sea. But Eves — along with the other brave soul on YouTube who had inspired him — dreamt big. Then Eves dreamt even bigger: He didn’t want to just take to the sidewalk, he wanted to take to the highway. And so, he abandoned the 50cc scooter, which could only top out at 35 miles per hour, for something with a bit more (horse)power.

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A Day at the Beach on a Disappearing Sea

 

The sands of the Salton Sea are at complete odds with each other. In some areas, they’re soft and flour-like, more Caribbean island than Southern California desert. In others, they look as though a giant clay pot has exploded and all of the subsequent fragments were drenched in oil. Their only real similarity are the calcified fish bones that line every part of the beach, no matter its terrain. The sea water shares this dichotomy. Up close, it’s vast and clear enough that you expect to see dolphins surface along the waterline. But from a bird’s-eye view, it looks as though it’s helping to contain a snarling dust storm. 

 

This is all why you’ll hear people say that the Salton Sea feels “like being on a different planet.” But that’s not exactly right. Because everything is too familiar. Too much like Earth. 

 

It’s an early evening in June, and the sky in Bombay Beach — population: 215, and the remaining community along the Salton Sea — is bleeding red and orange. The sun is disappearing behind the San Jacinto Mountains, a sign that there’s an overabundance of pollution in the air. The smell, due to an algae bloom, has been described as “fetid,” “noxious” and like “rotten eggs.” It supposedly gets worse as the heat becomes more tyrannical. But although the temperature is approximately 100 degrees (fairly common for this time of year), I’d describe it as mildly septic.

 

From the berm that was built in the 1980s as a failed attempt to prevent the sea from swallowing up the town, I can see a Tesla charger station made of scrap metal and a wood confessional near a phone booth with its handset dangling inches from the sand, along with a metal sign in the shallows that reads “The Only Other Thing Is Nothing.” It’s here that I meet April, a Bombay Beach local who makes me promise I won’t use the terms “post-apocalyptic,” “abandoned” or “ghost town” to describe her hometown of the last six years. Like many of Bombay’s residents, she’s tired of visitors misrepresenting its soul. It, of course, used to be none of these things. In fact, Bombay Beach was once a blue-collar paradise — the best-kept secret in California. 

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Shopping Pick of the Day




 

All Tied Up: No Kink Toy Is Easier to Use Than Tether Tape

 


Third Eye Blind Is Out Here Wrecking Marriages Coast-to-Coast, According to Reddit


A thread from 2012 has become a touchstone for testimonials of men who believe their wives and girlfriends cheated on them with the band that gave us lyrics like, ‘How do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you?’


There’s Nothing Hotter Than a Man Who Reverses With His Hand on the Passenger Headrest

 

Cars and driving are becoming increasingly automated, but you know what analog automotive tradition will never die? Marveling at the blinding sexiness of a guy who puts his arm around you, then contorts his entire body
to look behind him before reversing


 

I Brought the Jersey Shore to Me With a Homemade Cup of Ron Ron Juice

 

This summer, we’re thirsty for the mindless partying and tackiness of ‘Jersey Shore,’ and nothing quenches that craving quite like a couple cups of Ron Ron Juice


 

 

You Can’t Vote Your Way Out of a Mass Shooting

 

If we had actual representative democracy, we wouldn’t be in this situation


 

 

Why Women Are Whispering ‘Therapy’ Into Their Boyfriend’s Phones

 

If there is anything worse than snooping on your partner’s mobile device, it might be trying to manipulate their targeted ads to get them to talk to a therapist


 

Nobody Puts Gentleminions in a Corner

 

Almost overnight, it’s become a trend to get 36 of your closest guy friends together, throw on suits and go see ‘Minions: Rise of Gru.’ But try as theaters might to tame their dapper ways, nothing can stop them from turning up and turning out


 

 

 

Why Did Seagulls Evolve to Be So Annoying?

 

Is there a scientific reason these flying bastards suck so hard?

 


 

 

The Dilemma of the Post-Manifesto Shooter

 

Is such mass violence all the more unstoppable when it means almost nothing to the perpetrator?

 


Exactly How Strong Thor and Every Other Avenger Is, According to Marvel

 

As Marvel Comics’ SVP of publishing explains, they treat it as such an exact science that they often make up the science to support their characters’ superhuman feats — all of which is meticulously chronicled in the beloved ‘Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe’


 

Smart People Masturbate More Than the Rest of Us, Study Says


New research suggests that the more educated someone is, the more likely they are to jack it frequently. What do they know that the rest of us horny idiots don’t?


 

Spit or Swallow? My Journey Through the Cum Cocktail Recipes in ‘Semenology’

 

I’ve been fascinated by Paul Photenhaur’s popular cum-filled creations for a long time, so I grabbed my partner, milked a cocktail ingredient out of them and tried my hand at a Whiskey Dick Sour


 

Calculating the Exact Number of Miles Forrest Gump Ran on His Three-Year Cross-Country Jog

 

Mama always said life was like a five-mile-per-hour pace covering 60 miles per day


 

 

So, Uh, Sex With Mermaids: How Does That Work?


What the shell happens during it? Honestly, it all seems a bit fishy

More Stories We Think You'll Like

 

Marrying your ex’s dad is TikTok’s coldest revenge. How to jump rope like a boxer. “Dark Brandon” is the malevolent kind of Biden we need. How many sit-ups will give you a strong core? Why male sterilization won’t solve the abortion problem. Paranoia over legal pot is flying high. How summer heat affects your sleep. Narcissists love themselves so much, they cum almost immediately. What it’s like to have “skin hunger.” 50 movies that have broken the billion-dollar barrier.



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