TABLES TURNED
The Tokyo Lift are your new Internet Series Champions! As ILB's heavyweight franchises struggled to find success in a Season in which Winning was Losing, the Tokyo Lift lost just enough to put themselves in prime position, taking the Postseason by storm and eliminating the Seattle Garages in a hard-fought Internet Series to press the franchise’s first championship. With a new personal best under their belts, the champs are looking to max out another set in Season 20!
GOING NEGATIVE
Ratings tanked as the recently-Ratified Turntables Decree saw Blaseball record massive Losses in Season 19. Rumors of a power struggle at the Management Level were seemingly confirmed as a Recall Election aimed to undo the mysterious Reader’s negative influence on the league. Not to be outdone, the Reader offered yet another mysterious Decree, giving voters the choice between returning to the status quo and deepening the chaos.
BOOMSHAKALAKA
Despite the apparent internal struggles, expansion continued apace across the ILB. Season 19 also saw Teams install Hoops in their Ballparks, giving Players the opportunity to go up for Alley-Oops on well-hit homers, slamming down extra runs and turning games into flashy dunk contests.
RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT
In Weather, the Turntables seem to have induced random shifts in Polarity, as sudden surges of quantum spin randomly flipped Runs to UnRuns and back again, giving Fans the green light to panic as they struggled to determine whether to cheer for or against their own Teams at any given moment.
HALL PASS
Death somehow became even less certain in Season 19, as Pudge Nakamoto Roamed out of the Hall of Flame, prompting Fans to question whether anyone had ever even thought to try the door in the first place. When pressed on the escape, league officials noted that responsibility for the Hall falls squarely on the shoulders of the Monitor, and emphasized that the league will not be held liable for any damage Pudge might cause. Some are wondering if the necromantic oversight might be the result of too much recent success, that the cephalopod’s lengthy CV might be wearing the squid thin, and that for all of the Monitor’s effort, attention to detail appears to be slipping.
GOING UNDER
Sunday’s contentious and tightly contested Election ultimately saw the passage of the Reader’s Under Achievers Decree, calling for the installation of the Underbracket, a Postseason race to the bottom that should call the entire idea of success further into question.
A SECOND DAY?
With Turntables still intact and Blaseball so clearly divided, Ownership was forced to take drastic action, Leveraging the league in an unprecedented Election Day deal that resulted in the newly-forged Sun(Sun) being Set upon the league, a seemingly limitless power source that Ownership promised would restore unity and push Blaseball in a more positive direction.
Internet League #Blaseball returns Monday June 14th at 11AM Eastern, 8AM Pacific!
Everybody Wins! Play Ball!
