Week 5: Patterns in parenting

Dear <<Voornaam>>,

Week 5 is about the good, the bad and the ugly of patterns in parenting. Some patterns support security and ease, while others are more like pitfalls, creating for example conflicts or exhaustion.

Today for the first time you came to the session together with your toddler. Perhaps you enjoyed it, perhaps there were difficulties. Perhaps you already noticed certain patterns coming into play. 

In a new environment it can be hard to predict and guide your toddler's behaviour. This in turn can put extra stress on you, triggering patterns of self criticism for example, or trying to control your child, or entertain him or her. 

It may surprise you, but a little extra stress during a session, can be helpful. These sessions can be your playground, your laboratory, your safe haven. Here you can get to know yourself better as a parent, and explore new ways of dealing with parental stress. Together we practice approaching ourselves and our toddlers with kindness, an open attitude and a warm interest.

This week I invite you to pay special attention to triggers, patterns, and the unpleasantness they often try to avoid. It can be difficult to stop ourselves when we are triggered.  But when we do stop for a moment, awareness and kind open attention, can be enough to open up new avenues in handling the situation. So good luck -once again- with bearing witness to your reactions and triggers compassionately.

HOME PRACTICE:

1. MEDITATION:
   Sitting meditation with attention for the breath and sounds. Practice every day (6 times) guided by the recording or written text. Take notes of your experiences.
    
2. MINDFULNESS IN DAILY LIFE:
   Reflecting on your learning process. You are halfway in Mindful with your toddler. This week, make space to reflect on your process until now. You can take the questions on page 140 as a guide.
    
3. MINDFUL WITH YOUR TODDLER:
   A: Logbook patterns in parenting. Read the instructions on page 142. When you recognise a trigger, you can take a breathing space and take notes.
    
   B: Seeing meditation, with audio.
    
4. READING: Read the chapter on 'Regulatie' on page 144.