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Obstacles to Compassion
June 10, 2021
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First, From the Heart
When our hearts know it’s time to move compassion into action, our minds are very effective at blocking our intention. They keep us locked into old thought patterns and limiting beliefs at exactly the moments we need to clear the runway for take-off. And our minds are brilliant at boxing us into our comfort zone – attempts to try out new behaviors are often quashed by our inner critic.
Compassionate leaders recognize the need to overcome these inner challenges, and grow into the zone of freedom and choice. Then why is it so hard to do? We know it takes practice, patience, persistence, and strength. Many of us get it. Many of us do the work. Many of us still face obstacles. Stick with it, friends. We all know it’s worth the effort and attention. We are here to break the cycle, unleash our hearts, and bring compassion forward at scale. Thank you for doing your part!
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Best of the Blog
Barriers to Compassion
Learning to move past resistance, restraint, and roadblocks is a key part of personal and leadership development. Barriers to practicing our innate capacity for compassion can show up in many different ways. Let’s explore three barriers to compassion - distraction, judgment, and fear – and how we can intentionally move to the full expression of our compassionate nature. Read more.
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Research Worth Sharing
The Compassion Motivation and Action Scales: a self-report measure of compassionate and self-compassionate behaviours
by Stanley R. Steindl, Cassandra L. Tellegen, Ania Filus, Emma Seppälä, James R.Doty & James N. Kirby
in in Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice (2011), 84, 239–255
Fears of compassion: Development of three self-report measures
by Paul Gilbert, Kirsten McEwan, Marcela Matos, and Amanda Rivis
in Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice (2011), 84, 239–255
These two studies offer innovative scales to help us understand compassion more deeply and learn how to practice it more effectively.
"Fears of compassion" from Paul Gilbert and colleagues measures the fear of: compassion for others, compassion from others, and self-compassion. Identifying and overcoming the fear of compassion is a powerful tool to expanding our ability to experience compassion. Read the paper here.
"The Compassion and Motivation Scales" from Stan Steindl and colleagues identifies three factors that can contribute to or inhibit successful compassionate action: intention, distress tolerance, and action. Read more about it here.
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Practice Matters
Roadblock or Detour?
While navigating an unintended route, did you ever encounter the sweetest little country café, or find yourself ooing and ahhing a breathtaking landscape? When the roadblock forces you to seek new directions, it might also bring some unexpected joy.
Interesting how when we hit an obstacle in life, we typically view it as a negative impediment – a clear signal that we’ve done something wrong or screwed up. Perhaps our inner critic has a field day, speaking to us with harsh, unforgiving language. We blame ourselves, looking for more evidence of why we are not good enough or made a bad decision.
What if we viewed each obstacle along the path as a detour, a delicious opportunity to explore a new approach? Or a nudge toward an even better solution? If you look back at many previous life challenges and curveballs, you might find that this has even been true for you. See if you can welcome each step with curiosity, open to any and all possibilities. Perhaps your next obstacle will be replaced with a magical detour. Explore the unintended territory to chart a new course with courage. And wrap yourself and all involved with fierce compassion.
When can we practice? Always!
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Upcoming Events
Global Compassion Gathering
Attend online July 15
We invite you to celebrate our connection as a global community of compassionate friends and allies. We gather on 7/15 to align, inspire, and ignite our collective hearts and minds to birth a more #compassionate world. Our guest presenter and practice leader is Scott Shute, Head of Mindfulness and Compassion at LinkedIn and author of the wonderful new book, “The Full Body Yes.” The event is co-hosted by Laura Berland, our co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Compassionate Leadership, and Monica Worline, co-author of "Awakening Compassion at Work," Stanford University researcher with the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Please register for the free event to reserve your spot. Find out more and register now.
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