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The Aram was shortlisted for best newsletter at The Freelance Writing awards. Such an honour to be among such prolific names. Thank you to everyone who has read and shared my work. You’re all real ones.
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"You are currently living in at least one of your prayers that you used to pray for today". Various loved ones have sent me this quote across this past week. It was even shared serendipitously by a friend just before I sat down to write this. It's as if this reminder is following me around, requiring me to remember the gifts already in front of me.
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While recently interviewing a doctor for a feature, we both spoke about how if Coronavirus had lasted a couple of weeks in the UK last year, we would've forgotten about it by now. I am always so curious about humans and how easily we forget our pain. I think about it every time anyone chooses to be a mother, again. Every time we get our hearts broken and throw our fears in the air when we fall in love again. Every time we choose ourselves and this life we're in.
"You are currently living in at least one of your prayers that you used to pray for today". Do you know how powerful that is? Even if you're not a person of faith or if prayer is an alien concept to you, that right there reminds me that even when we are at our worse and feel terrible about the fact that life is going on, we are still being taken care of by the fact that life is going on.
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There are far too many times in my life where no matter how grateful or self-aware I have been, a moment catches me and I remember, "Oh shit, I prayed for this". Usually by then I’m already on to the next thing. Be it the next dream, the next anxiety, the next distraction.
So much of the time, we may ask for something that's already happening. For example, sometimes my parents pray for peace — a noble ask — but we always have an exchange afterwards, the realisation that this peace that we're craving is already here. It just needs to be prioritised and preserved as best as can be.
I love this image that we're all being cradled in a prayer that we once asked for; maybe even a prayer of the heart, something that wasn’t said out loud but felt.
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It’s now seven months into the year, which one of your dreams and prayers have already been answered? Which haven't? Has there been a shift in what you now require? And more essentially, are you asking for the version of you now or are you visualising out of routine and convenience? I know someone who keeps a prayer mood board so when answered, the prayer gets crossed off: a tangible reflection that things are always changing and moving for the better.
We are living in a prayer while another is being answered. All while asking for more. So how about for this second, we just say thank you for everything that we have and most importantly, everything we don't have. So much of the time our gratitude lists are made up of the things which overrun our cup and not enough about the things we don't have to worry about.
So ameen, for all that there is right here and right now. This is for your past self that prayed for what you innocently take for granted now. This is a thank you for the ways in which things work out, all the wisdom we would've missed if we got entirely what we wanted. This is for prayers being answered and the rightful delay in them. The ways in which things are unseeingly working out for us even when we don't pray for them. What are you praying for today? Reply to this and let me know.
Preserving aram and sending duas inshallah,
Tahmina
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The Aram is a bi-monthly newsletter that explores our relationship with ease and joy. In "Getting Aram With...", I ask a woman of colour and/or Muslim woman I admire, three questions surrounding her comforts.
#16 is Hafsa Issa-Salwe. Host of the Mind Pretty Soul podcast.
I recently joined Hafsa on an episode on Black and brown wellness, the traditions that have existed in both our Somali and Bangladeshi cultures and joint Islamic heritage for centuries. Mind Pretty Soul is truly a space that shares perspectives on everything from beauty to mental health through the lens of women of colour. This conversation felt like such an honour to be a part of. Thank you Hafsa.
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What's currently bringing you aram?
Working out at the gym. Being unable to go to the gym during the lockdown hit me hard mentally but now that we’re able to go again I feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulder. Exercising is my sacred time to fight stress and push my body to limits that leave me with awe and admiration for it.
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You host the Mind Pretty Soul podcast where you discuss everything from mental health to beauty to wellness. What have you learned and unlearned about your personal wellness and self-care in the past year? What would you like more Black and brown women to know about our histories with wellness?
I’ve unlearned the need to be booked and busy. Being at home during the pandemic challenged me because I was faced with myself not in relation to the places I go to, the things I do, my job, or the people I hang around with because they were taken away from me. Instead, I realised that I was burned out and running on empty — it didn’t matter that I had regular headaches or that my skin was freaking out, I had to stay busy. Shedding those stressors during the pandemic has allowed me to rest and recuperate.
As for what I’d like Black and brown women to know about our histories with wellness, if you have the privilege of having access to elders in your communities please speak to them about how they take, or took, care of themselves. The discourse around self-care and wellness is quite recent as a specific concept but if you look back in time our cultures have practices dedicated to enhancing our wellbeing, and they’ve existed for generations. By speaking to our elders, there’s so much to uncover and it’ll be an additional layer to understanding our cultures which is invaluable for people in the diaspora.
Shout out a platform and/or person you'd love to bring maya to.
The Digital Sisterhood. It’s an incredible digital storytelling podcast run by a group of Black Muslim women. Each episode has touched me on a profound level. It’s a must-listen!
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Things That Have Bought Me Aram Lately
Event
The Aram Live is back! Due to Covid changes, our first event is on the 4th of August now inshallah. You can grab tickets here, see you there 👋🏾
Book
Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson
Article
My June column is a personal one.
The normalisation of Islamophobia: what causes align with your ‘brand’?
Film
In The Heights
Song
Blackout
Newsletters
Anna Meyer's Where The Light Is. Anna also kindly interviewed me for her latest one where I spoke about recent life lessons, book recommendations and my favourite pieces of advice. I loved the question "What's one non-resume skill you're proud to have?" We don't ask that enough.
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Hola! I'm Tahmina Begum 👋🏾 I'm a writer, editor and creative consultant. The Aram is currently free to subscribers but it does take a labour of love to write and produce, so if you'd like to support, you can buy me a digital Ko-Fi. If you'd like to commission me for any work, feel free to check out my website.
Images courtesy of @elviratyt @thepakistanibride @thankyou_ok and Hafsa Issa-Salwe
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