Surviving the Holidays after Losing a Loved One
If you've had the unfortunate experience of losing a loved one this year, then you may not see the holidays as holding much to celebrate. Dreading the holidays after such a loss is a normal part of the grief process, and there really is no quick and easy solution to "getting over it" to get through the holidays. Remember above all else that the only real way to heal is with time, so while you may not be able to dodge the holidays all together, try to remember the following as you cope.
Do not expect much from the holidays for at least a year.
Expect to feel completely numb, and then accept that it's okay to feel that way. In many ways, numbness is the best coping mechanism for pushing through the holiday season. As such, don't force yourself to do things that could bring you out of the numbness and stir up emotions. For example, stay away from serious Christmas music and restrict your playlist to whimsical Christmas music, such as "Here Comes Santa Claus" or "Up on the Housetop." If necessary, avoid all Christmas music.
The same goes with decorations. If you want to put up decorations, great. If you don't feel like it, then don't. Forcing yourself to "get into the holiday spirit" will hinder the healing, not help.
However, this does not mean that you should hinder the holiday for others. If they want to listen to holiday music and you're afraid it will upset you, just leave the room. If your family gives gifts to celebrate, don't deny anyone this tradition.
To read more advice on coping through the holidays, visit my blog.
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