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"Oh wow, I wish my calligraphy looked that professional."
"How did such a young writer get so many followers on social media?"
"Her teeth are perfect!"
These are the types of things I've caught myself saying on more than one occasion. Sometimes I'm simply admiring someone else's talent or beauty, but other times I'm feeling frustrated and, let's be honest, a little jealous because someone else is more successful or has more self-discipline than I do. For years I felt ashamed that I couldn't drive or swim like other people (all the while forgetting that I was getting books published or managing my money well).
Can you relate? What about with these scenarios?
I enjoy my lovely home but sometimes I think about families I know who are squeezed into a space half the size of mine and struggling to pay their rent. Or I want to make a big purchase and I hesitate because I feel a little guilty that someone else wouldn't be able to afford it.
Whether we're comparing ourselves up (with someone who has more than us) or down (with someone in more difficult circumstances), we can get tangled up in a web that keeps us from living. . . and being of any use to others. We lose our joy and our peace. We may even lose our way.
There is value in recognizing the successes and sorrows of others (Romans 12:12 tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep) and extending grace and compassion to others, and there is value in acknowledging how we can learn from others who have excelled in areas we want to excel in (or who have made mistakes we should avoid), but there is little value in comparing our lives to the lives of others, whether they are strangers or people close to us.
What usually ends up happening is we measure our worst moments and mistakes against the cleaned-up and edited version of someone else's best moments as presented in public. That's not a valid comparison.
We also have to be careful about comparing ourselves with ourselves. It's fine to say, "I used to read a lot more. Maybe I should make time for that again." or "I used to be so critical of others. I need to curb that tendency." What's not okay, in my opinion, is to lament how much thinner we were 20 years ago, or how our memory used to be better. We can try to stay healthy, but we can't try to stay 25 (well, except those of you who are 25).
If you're struggling with self-doubts (or, conversely, feelings of pride) because you're busy looking at how someone else seems to be doing, I encourage you to stop. Count your blessings, thank God for the gifts He's given you, use them well, enjoy them, share them, and bless others with them. . . but stop trying to fit your life and your talents into someone else's mold.
Deal? :)
TV SHOW: Last week I binge-watched two seasons of Blown Away and, true to the promise in its title, it blew me away. Each season pitted ten glass blowers against each other in a series of creative challenges. I always enjoy shows about creativity (whether it's restoring cars, baking, gardening, or any other pursuit) but this one was especially fascinating because I never realized how much physical energy and endurance (not to mention emotional strength) one needs to produce such fragile works of art. While I didn't necessarily like every piece (or always agree with the judges' comments), it was sheer delight watching this show. (On Netflix)
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This month, I want to know your favourite places to shop for gifts. I have two motives here: One is that I'm always looking for great places to shop and the other is that I'd like to have an idea of what retailers I might want to approach in the future to sell products I create.
