Marriage Maven's News & Views

  Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW   July 2021 Vol.7 No.7
 
         

Do You Raise Each Other UP? 
 
Call me old-fashioned, traditional, or, as I like to think of it, call me a feminist with timeless, eternal values. Like those expressed in Josh Groban's song, "You Raise Me Up," which begins like this:
 
I love this thought because although its writer meant it as a gospel song, to me, it's also a heartfelt expression of what a good human relationship feels like. It means that one plus one is more than two. Three? No, it's hard to quantify. It can feel more like one plus one equals infinity.

How can you measure what it feels like to be uplifted by someone you love and with whom you feel eternally bonded? We become more of who we are by living daily with someone who "gets" us, i.e., understands us on a deep level. With someone who has our back and lifts us up when we need that kind of support.   
      
Does this sound idealistic? In reality, the song doesn't mean to say that this other person is continually, every moment, watching over us to make sure we're at least okay, if not blissful.
        
It means to me to cherish the moments when we feel raised up by our partner and use the opportunities that arise to uplift our dear one when they can benefit from kind words or actions. A warm hug at the right moment can do wonders for raising someone's spirits. 

All lives and all relationships have ups, downs, and in-between times when we coast along. We can create more ups by staying mindful of times our partner can use some raising up and ties to acknowledge when we're feeling down and communicate our need for support, maybe with a long hug, massage, or something else. When these things happen, you've raised each other up to more than you can be, to a new level of "you" who can face the world and its challenges with greater confidence and an enriched sense of yourself.

It's been many years since my husband drove us an hour and a half one evening to see a Josh Groban concert in San Jose, California, because he knew how much it would mean to me to see him at a live performance. When Groban sang, "You Raise Me Up," my tears flowed around this part:

                                      You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
                                      You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
                                      I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
                                      You raise me up to more than I can be.

I felt so blessed that my husband, who could care less about going there, had done this for me. Hearing the song back then, I felt like it was just for me.

The song can apply applies to all of us. We can keep virtually any relationship thriving by being aware of the many chances for boosting each other's spirits. 
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Photo by Tiraya Adam on Unsplash
Songwriters: Rolf Lovland / Brendan Joseph Graham
 
 

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Coming Soon!

Marriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love Any woman who wants to marry can . . . once she learns how. Marriage Minded's A to Z format, packed with warmth, wisdom, and humor, makes the process fun and informative. You will learn how to overcome obstacles, meet men, and date constructively; you'll read about single women of all ages who became happily married.
     Marriage Minded is a sensitive guide to creating the lasting, loving union you've always wanted, one that fulfills you emotionally, spiritually, physically, and materially. This book is written with women in mind, yet anyone can apply its practical communication and relationship tips. You can preorder Marriage Minded now. 
 

Launch Party for Marriage Minded - All Welcome!  Sunday, October 10, 1:00 pm at Book Passage, The Bay Area's Liveliest Bookstore  51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera, California   Featuring the author's presentation,   Q &A time, light refreshments, and more. Please join us.  More details here.

 

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Real Solutions for Intimacy, Trust, and Teamwork

 

Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, an experienced psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. She integrates various approaches, including family systems, cognitive-behavioral, and psychodynamic methods to help people gain more fulfilling relationships with themselves and others.