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Hiding What's Hard
August 5, 2021
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First, From the Heart
Do you recall a childhood memory, or many instances, when you tried to cover-up or hide something from your parent, teacher, caregiver, sibling, or friend. When you felt you would be embarrassed, ashamed, criticized, or even cast out. We knew, even from a very young age, what was deemed acceptable and what was not. So most of us followed along. We got lots of practice pushing things down, away, or out of sight.
Twenty, forty, and even sixty years later, we are still often running the same old programs. What difficult or dark situations or behaviors do we keep hidden away from those we love, those we lead, and even ourselves?
Can we all agree that life is hard? Being human is hard. Facing our challenges may never be completely easeful, yet we must learn to muster the courage to witness our own truths with a tender heart, forgiveness, and acceptance. And by showering compassion and patience on ourselves in this lifelong process, we inspire all around us to do the same.
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Best of the Blog
Stop the Hiding
No one gets a pass. Not world-class athletes, CEOs, essential workers, parents, teachers, or our kids. We all suffer. We also have a choice about how we respond to suffering through our leadership. We can choose to work together to find a response, or we can turn away. What kind of culture are you modeling and creating in your organization? Read more.
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Practice Matters
Shed the Armor
We are ninjas at protecting ourselves from ourselves, not to mention from others. Perhaps you are aware of your masterful skills in this realm, or maybe your unconscious is steering you along.
Let’s consider what makes this possible – carrying the enormous weight of protective layers, the vast amount of energy we devote, and the gnawing feeling that something is not in alignment, amiss, or lacking.
Might we explore other possibilities? Consider that the parts of ourselves that are too uncomfortable to recognize are exactly those that require the tender attention of our hearts. That it is only when we welcome all of us in – brilliant, imperfect, beautiful, critical, courageous, fearful, creative, stuck, caring, and failing – that we start to integrate and heal. We accept and honor all of it. Now we can reclaim and embrace our wholeness.
We start by offering ourselves compassion for all of who we are. We learn to love each and every part of our being, unconditionally. And that is how and why we are able to bring our empathy and compassion to others. Integrated. Authentic. Whole. Flowing with love.
When can we practice? Always!
If you'd like to explore additional Practice Matters, you can find them here.
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Recommended Reads
Emotional Acknowledgment: How Verbalizing Others’ Emotions Fosters Interpersonal Trust
by Alisa Yu, Justin M. Berg, Julian Zlatev
in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, March 2021 Vol. 164 Pages 116-135
What should you do when a co-worker appears emotionally moved, either upset or excited? Taking a novel approach using Costly Signaling Theory, the authors explore how emotionally moved individuals view acknowledgement (or the lack thereof) of their emotions by a co-worker. The findings are a valuable affirmation of the impact of compassionate leadership practices. Read more about the research.
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Fall Training Programs
Accepting Applications Now.
Compassionate Leadership and Resilience Training for Global Health Leaders
8 Week Course – Attend online Sept 28- Nov. 16
Leaders from around the world are already benefitting from the groundbreaking training program developed in partnership with the Focus Area for Compassion and Ethics at the Task Force for Global Health. We are pleased to announce that registration is now open for the next cohort starting on September 28, 2021.
Join your global health colleagues from six continents who are bringing their new compassionate leadership experiences and practices to work in their organizations and lives. Find out more and register now.
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Compassionate Leadership and Resilience Training for Business and Nonprofit Leaders
8 Week Course – Attend online Sept 29- Nov. 17
Join leaders from finance, technology, education, HR, healthcare, leadership development, and coaching as we build a more compassionate future together. Registration is now open for the upcoming cohort starting September 29, 2021.
Our signature 8-week training program will build your compassion from the inside out and connect you with a powerful global peer community for ongoing growth, inspiration, and support. Find out more and register now.
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