Vol. 10 September 2021
Institute News
The latest news, successes stories, and updates
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At the Institute, we believe innovation starts with an idea.
In this monthly newsletter you'll find ideas you can use. Whether you're a member of a family in need, a child welfare professional, or a caring member of the community, we strive to bring the most practical, informative, and heartwarming content straight to your inbox.
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Join us this month as we highlight the importance of supporting parents and families, not just their children. Sounds ridiculously simple right? Sadly, we find that the child welfare system is built around the transaction of children instead of coming alongside their parents, families and communities. Parents and family members too often hear, “you need to do this or your kids will be removed,” yet it’s so difficult to move forward when you are constantly on the defense. At the Institute want to want to change the narrative. We expanded our offerings to a suite of 90 minute trainings based on seeing parents, families and communities in a more positive way. We are in conversation with public and private child welfare agencies to roll out these trainings to front-line workers across the country; stay tuned for the impact to come.
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Meet Erin Thomas
Recently, our staff had the pleasure of meeting Erin Thomas, the Training Coordinator at the Respect Institute of Georgia.
Our staff connected with Erin in national research agenda meeting hosted by the Child Welfare League of America. Erin’s too often underappreciated perspective as a parent with lived experience in child welfare was one we had to share with our readers.
When Erin’s son came into the foster care system, they were separated for over seven years. During that time, Erin embarked on a journey of rebounding, healing, and self-advocacy.
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Seven years is a lifetime for a developing child and for the child welfare system. During those 7 years, Erin fought through substance abuse, criminal issues, and stabilizing her employment and housing. Erin’s parental rights were eventually terminated, and caseworkers struggled to find a “permanent placement option” for her son. Eventually though, her son was returned to her. The devastating reality? It was his fourteenth placement during his time in foster care.
We’d like to pause here for a moment to ask you to check any biases you might be feeling. Did you think, even once, that Erin didn’t deserve her child? Did you pause and wonder if Erin could stay clean? Erin felt those questions over and over again from nearly everyone around her.
Erin doesn't shy away from her responsibility in the events of the past, but does advocate fiercely for system reform, imagining a structure where parents are supported equally with their children, provided resources in a partnering tone, and empowered to take part in the case planning for their own children.
In addition to her work at the Respect Institute, Erin has been working with the Georgia Parent Advisory Council, making strides in advocating for greater partnership between parents and professionals by listening to the advice of those with first-hand experience. She is also working with colleagues in Georgia on the initial stages of piloting a "peer to peer" or "parent to parent" program for those who have recently lost their children to the foster system, coming alongside them as an unconditional support to help reunification occur faster.
At the Institute, we were inspired by Erin's story, her passion, and resolve. We were amazed by the power that lived experience can have on the decisions of policy makers in child welfare, and are proud to come alongside Erin and her peers in promoting system reform to incorporate more support for parents. We chatted with Erin recently about her experiences and wanted to share just a bit of her incredible perspective here:
What inspired you to turn your lived experience into action?
"I know what it feels like when your children have just been taken away. The child welfare system essentially tells you, 'you need to get yourself together' providing a list of outdated services, and then says 'let us know when you complete everything and we'll talk.' The child in care has so many professionals in their corner for support while the parents have virtually no one. Unless you count the court appointed attorney that barely interacts with you. Honestly, I can't even remember my attorney's name. Why is that? Why are parents viewed as the villain in all these cases? Over the years without my son I basically lost all hope, succumbed more and more to my substance abuse and was eventually incarcerated. I came to terms with the idea I would never see my son again, especially after termination of parental rights occurred. Once I got out, got clean, and decided to try to get my son back, years had passed, and I faced an uphill climb on my own. No parent should have to feel that way, and every parent deserves support because we love our children and just need to heal. I want to use my experience to lift up others who are where I once was."
If you could go back in time and change your situation, what would have made things easier?
"I wish the professionals recognized the immense fear that parents experience in these situations. I wish the system realized that parents want to get better and want to be there for their children; that they need help, not never-ending judgement. Even the language that is used by case workers, such as 'investigation, perpetrator, court appointed, surveillance, assessment,' immediately puts parents on the defensive. I felt like the bad guy from the start. My opinions weren't valued because of what I had done, and I never felt like the team working with me wanted me to succeed. While struggling with substance abuse, I was beyond paranoid about slipping up, and having to report I relapsed, knowing that even if I took the proper steps to help myself it would be another mark against me. As these factors build and build, hope continues to diminish, and you reach a point where you ask yourself 'ok, why shouldn't I use, I'm not getting my son back anyway.'"
I also wish I had help navigating the services that were required of me. No one asked how the requirements would realistically affect my life. No one considered that getting a job would suddenly unqualify me for certain supports I relied on, with no plan on how to fill this gap.
Ultimately, no one seemed to realize that I, as a parent, just needed an ally. If I could go back in time, this is what I wish I'd had."
What advice do you have for child welfare professionals when working with parents of children in care?
"Celebrate victories with parents, don't just focus on the bad, don't take away our hope. It's what drives us. Get creative in the ways you help us navigate resources and listen to our concerns and take them seriously. Understand that we should have a voice in what is best for our children, despite anything we may have done, and respect that voice. Think about your language and tone! The words you use and the tone you strike can create a feeling of powerlessness. understand that we have to feel empowered to succeed. Stop with the labels! Above all, strive to develop a relationship based on trust. Talk to us, not at us."
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Understanding Ourselves with Ian Forber-Pratt
Last month the Institute's own Chief Executive Officer, Ian Forber-Pratt was featured on the Thriving Adoptees podcast. His message of hope asks listeners to challenge their view of self and learn more about child welfare reform, all with a few laughs and ah-ha moments. Click below to take a listen.
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30 Days to Family® starting in Minnesota this Month
3... 2... 1... Launch! Next week our staff will be training Ampersand Families 30 Days to Family® Team! We expect that the team will begin working cases shortly after, and the youth and families of Ramsey County will begin reaping the benefits. Up next... bringing you stories of success. Stay tuned.
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Mindset Change
In the newsletters to come we’ll feature stories on the importance of mindset change. But as a hint we’d love to share a powerful graphic. True systems change needs each of these aspects to be intersectional, concurrent and intentional in order to see any lasting difference. As the United States child welfare system shifts from small group care and foster care to prevention and community-based work, the structural change is just beginning. The Institute is dedicated to offering training on how the other aspects of change are given proportional consideration as the entire ethos of the child welfare system is rewired.
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Giridharadas, A. (2018). Deconstructing the Bird Cage: How Social Entrepreneurs are Catalyzing Social Change. New Profit. https://issuu.com/newprofit/docs/deconstructing_the_birdcage
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Always keep up on our latest adventures at www.forchildwelfare.org.
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Until next month, we wish you hope, health, and well-being.
The Institute Team
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