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ISSUE NO. 15  September 19, 2021
Trigger warning: a brief mention of suicide.

Hi friends,

I was talking to a friend recently about how writers often want to tell someone everything or have someone else tell them everything, and that’s part of the reason we write: because we crave connection and to share our stories. It reminded me of an old friend—one of the few men I’ve ever met in my life who needed to talk about his feelings, a lot. 

He told me he didn’t have anyone he could talk to before, and it showed. When he found me, me who challenged him to be honest and me who said things like, “You need to tell people things because otherwise, they’ll never know,” the walls came down. He would text me just two words: “Honesty hour?” And I would respond, “Sure. 7:00?” And at exactly 7:00 I would find him pacing outside my house in the dark. 

No topic was off-limits for that hour. Whatever bubbled up inside him that he needed to say, he would say it. And then it was my turn. We listened and gave each other kindness. Sometimes we gave advice—the kind of advice that didn’t require too much action, only reflection. The kind of advice that was easy and forgiving on yourself for being human. 

And then after that hour, we’d shake it off, hug goodbye, and part ways for the night. I’d stand on the sidewalk and watch his car recede until it was out of sight.

Neither of us could afford therapy at the time. We had to make our own safe space—always outdoors, where our words couldn’t bounce off walls, but instead float away into the cool night air. When he struggled with his family, dreams, and relationships, there was Honesty Hour. When my good friend committed suicide, when my anxiety became too much, when I felt like I was losing myself in everyone else, there was Honesty Hour.

We don’t talk anymore—it’s been years, and we’ve found other people to talk to. I doubt he even knows this newsletter exists. But I know those hours were so beneficial to both of us. Most people call it “oversharing” now: opening up unprovoked, about something that has nothing to do with the other, to empty yourself, to feel validated, to free up a little space. To that, I say: find someone to overshare with. If therapy isn’t your thing, make a friend who wants to be equally open with you. You can’t force it. It has to be a two-way street. Call it Honesty Hour if you want to. 

If you’re reading this, you are most likely a writer, an artist, a Highly Sensitive Person, or an empath like I am. We absorb so much. We feel everything, we notice everything. It’s in our nature to love and listen. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with words and people and feelings, we feel like we’re going to burst if we don’t share the feeling with others. That’s okay. It’s a beautiful thing, no matter how embarrassing it may seem. Find healthy ways to embrace it and work with it.

And if you need to, hit reply. I’m never out of kindness or advice. 

Megan

this week I loved...


1. The PUMA X Animal Crossing collection. Because duh.

2. "Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version)," the remaster I needed at this very moment.

3. Tales of Arise on the PS5. Or actually, just the PS5 in general. I feel like I won the lottery.

4. This clip of Kelly Clarkson's son interrupting Chris Martin mid-song because he needed to pee. Precious, but also: kid. You hold it.

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Copyright © 2021 Megan Portorreal, All rights reserved.


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