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Hi friends,
The strangest thing happened after I took a short social media break for a week, and then came back: I realized I wasn’t feeling aligned. I sat on FaceTime with my therapist with a list of words in front of me. “What’s the word you landed on?” she asked, nodding at my notebook.
“Aligned,” I said. It was circled on the page in front of me. “I thought it might be ‘balanced,’ but it’s more than that. I feel like I’m not aligned, like my brain and my heart aren’t matching anymore. Like I’m trying to satisfy two different parts of myself. Like I’m not all in agreement.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it previously: how I want to do so much, how I have so many interests and ideas and I try to do everything, and it’s impossible. Then I beat myself up about not being able to do everything I want to do.
The trick is to be honest about your priorities, but it isn’t easy. It requires putting everyone else’s opinions aside. You have to forget what your parents might have wanted. You have to forget what you think others might find impressive. No—you have to dig deep and think about what you think is important—what you enjoy, what matters the most in your heart. Everything else is noise.
Taking a break from social media made me realize that I was using it to measure what I was creating in life. It was proof to the world that I was doing something. When I took Twitter and Instagram away for a week, I still did things. I went to work, had great days, had bad days, created things, and wrote things. I saw friends and went to dinner. I took pictures of things even though I wasn’t posting them. But over the past several years, I’ve felt like if I did things and couldn’t post them on social media, if I couldn’t share them with strangers and the world, it felt like they didn’t count. But guess what? They do.
Sometimes, writing is tricky. Validation and gratification are often delayed. You can work on a draft for hours, days, and weeks and have nothing to show for it until months later when the piece of work is published. You’re working, but no one’s really seeing what you’re doing until it’s done. I’ve worked on things for hours, days, and months, and it felt like I didn’t do a thing because no one was seeing it immediately. For a long time, I wasn’t giving myself credit for the process—and I should. We all should.
Friends, take some time to check in with yourself and see how aligned you feel in your life right now. Especially during a pandemic, a lot of us have just been trying to survive. We’ve been going through the motions. We’ve been doing everything we can to just get out of bed each morning. I didn’t realize how off track I felt until I took social media away and was forced to sit alone with myself without any distractions.
I truly hope you do feel on track, full of purpose, validated or motivated. If not, now’s a great time to ask yourself why. What changes can you make over these next couple of months to get your head more aligned with your heart? What things can you do to make sure you’re putting your time and attention towards the things that make you the happiest, regardless of whether you receive outside validation for it?
At the end of the day, the only person you should try to impress is yourself. The right people will notice, too.
Megan
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this week I loved...
1. The new Coldplay album, Music of the Spheres. I’m a little biased since I’ve loved Chris Martin + co since 2005, but it’s kind of great.
2. The Animal Crossing Direct. We’re getting SO MUCH new content on November 5 and I couldn’t be happier!
3. This week’s Ask Polly column, ‘How Do I Just Be a Fucking Adult?’ Even if you aren’t going through something similar, Heather’s advice is so eye-opening.
4. Adele’s new single ‘ Easy On Me,’ and her album announcement! Happy to be getting even more new music from her in November! |
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A Tour of My Notion Setup
My Notion setup is constantly evolving and it’s been working wonders for me in terms of organization and life management. Continue reading →
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How Working From Home Changed My In-Office Life
Now that I’ve been working on a hybrid schedule, I’ve been thinking about my relationship with work differently. Continue reading →
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