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January 2022 (Volume 12- Issue #01)

Hello and happy Saturday, <<Name>> !  I want to wish you a warm welcome to a brand new year. There is so much possibility in the year ahead for your own personal development. And that excites me. Yes, no matter what's going on in the outside world. And it begins with choosing hope...

But...before we dive into what's been on my mind, I just want you to know how much I value our time here together here. I am ever grateful to be allowed to visit your inbox. So, Happy 2022 to all my old friends as well as a hearty welcome those of you who are new to my world.
 

“Hope is not an emotion;
it’s a way of thinking
or a cognitive process.”

--Brené Brown

I doubt the last thing you expected as the theme for my 1st Love Note of 2022 was Hope. Because I pretty sure Hope, always.that I’m not the only one that is mentally “done” with the pandemic yet here we are still.  

One of the decisions we made in our house revolves around making peace with what is...while also making choices that allow us to get the most out of our everyday lives.

This can sometimes be much harder to implement than simply typing that statement out. However, the number one thing I’ve come to rely upon is an underlying sense of hope…. No, not necessarily from the folks in Washington (you know I prefer to not discuss politics).

Rather, is the invitation to entice hope to come from my own heart and soul with a lot of inspiration from JB’s brilliant mind. I am also leaning into the spirit of hope and kindness from ordinary people in my daily life. Both in person. And from folks I encounter virtually.

(Which is why I often will remind you to curate what you read and the people you follow on social media.)

Because our thoughts creates our reality, choosing hope and leaning into having it is a saving grace.


One thing that has helped me is to better hone the semantics of what hope is...and as is my nature, I turned to research. In a 2004 paper from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, two psychologists used survey data better define "hope" and "optimism".

They determined that “hope focuses more directly on the personal attainment of specific goals, whereas optimism focuses more broadly on the expected quality of future outcomes in general.”

What I take this to mean is that while optimism is the belief that things will turn out all right, hope makes no Coffee and a book.such assumption. But it is a conviction that each person can take actions that make their own life better in some way.

In other words, by choosing hope you commit to creating a daily life that nourishes and serves you.

Also in my research, I also came across the story of Jim Stockdale. I'd read about him several years ago but it was good to have the reminder of him and his life.

Stockdale was a Navy officer and POW in Vietnam from 1965 to 1973. That's eight years of being held hostage, often also being tortured. Yet, he came out of his ordeal as a man unbroken by his experience. 

He said rather than focusing on getting freed by a certain day - say Christmas or Easter, he focused on hope. Because when you focused on specifics, you it broke your heart and your spirit...and that led to many deaths. What’s now known as the Stockdale Paradox comes from his statement

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”


Of course, none of us are POWs in a war being tortured by our enemies. Yet the current reality of our lives new yearcan make us feel trapped without any sense of control.

What’s happening in the outside world simply IS. It’s reality. And rather than fight with reality, I choose to focus on what I can do with the present moment no matter what.

So to dive more deeply into the semantics of hope, I will share that in  my personal world, hope and optimism are buddies. But that isn’t the same for everyone. And that's OK because I also know intimately how easy it is to get lost in our own fears.

But hope comes from a space of taking responsibility for my own feelings rather than expectation that someone from the outside world will magically make my life better.

And frankly, you can have hope and be a bit of a pessimist. Not trusting that the outside world is going to change much, but still have confidence that you can improve things in your daily life. And extend that hope into making life better for others around you.

So, pessimist or optimist, we can all channel and lean into hope. And my research confirms that you can have hope, yet also make peace that hope doesn’t mean avoiding any conflicts or crisis.  

Rather, it’s an opportunity to choose hope as a part of loving yourself and others, as a path to practice kindness, and to shore yourself up to be more resilient in life.

It's not an oxymoron, but the reality of what can live side by side.

Life has always been uncertain. Yet it feels more uncertain than ever thanks to the events in the outside world. Yet, uncertainty doesn’t have to be a barrier to making choices that serve your own higher good. KindnessEvery single day you can create goodness in your life. And spread that goodness to others around us.

Now, more than ever, we need small acts of kindness in our world. Because kindness comes from hopeful people.

And I want to be a kind person even more now that ever.

This can be as simple as being kind to the cashier that checks out your groceries or bringing up the trashcans from the curb for your neighbor. Kindness can be found in making your partner a cup of coffee when you make your own or resetting the Peloton bike seat to his settings when you're done with your workout (see my favorite things below - ha).

And you can spread kindness by sending card in the mail to an old friend to let them know you’re thinking of them warmly.

One of the most critical aspects of keeping hope alive in your life is to also not forget that kindness extends to yourself.

Move your body. Ensure you get enough sleep. Create a beautiful meal just because it brings you pleasure. Lovingly tend your own body with a beautifully scented shower gel or lotion up every part of yourself after a shower.

Our daily, ordinary moments are ripe for opportunity for us to live in a way that is hopeful, loving, nourishing, and kind.

 
Hope also invites you to work on your own healing.

No one is free from experiences that feel traumatic and stressful. And we certainly cannot control what has happened to us in the past - be it wounds from childhood, a marriage, or loss. So, rather than continue to fondle the stories of how you were done wrong, choosing hope gives you the courage to pursue what healing looks like for you right now.

The truth is that you have the responsibility to your own mental (and emotional) well-being to take charge of healingmoving forward in your own life.

So as a part of choosing hope as a mindset, know that it will assist you in your path of healing.

Healing can look different for many folks...


Maybe it’s time to finally begin a real journaling practice that helps you find your answers. Or finally commit to that meditation practice.

Perhaps it’s time to take stock of what triggers you to tumble down a rabbit hole of unhappiness, reactiveness, or numbing. Choosing hope and healing gives you the power to notice when something triggers an old memory or feeling and stop it in its tracks.

And rather than cope by turning to food or wine, you discover the way to sit with the emotion in a non-judgmental way that allows you to apply logic to being safe now...even if you weren't safe in the past.

To be brutally honest, making the choice to act from a space of hope and find the courage to journey towards healing often requires help.

Because as much as I know that we often have answers inside us, no one is an island. 2022 may be the 2 coffeesyear that finally invest in a good therapist (highly, highly recommend!).

Or hire a coach or engage a spiritual director to serve as a witness to your journey.

You do not have to do everything on your own. And having hope as a companion will lovingly and gently remind you of that fact.

Choosing hope means making the decision to no longer allow the past create your future.


Focusing on hope has led me to the deeper belief that perhaps it's possible despair has the ability to transform and strengthen our hope. Life is a balancing act; light is meaningless without the darkness, and vice versa. 

Having hope doesn't mean tossing realism to the wayside. A hopeful spirit is not led by naiveté; it's rooted in the belief that uncertainty and hope can coexist and even offer us peace.

Because no matter how pessimistic you may have been in the past, hope invites you to have faith in your innate holiness as you build your ability to be resilient.
 

“Hope is a renewable option:
If you run out of it at the end of the day,
you get to start over in the morning.”

–Barbara Kingsolver
 

If you aren’t quite sure where to start inviting hope into your own life, begin small. Practice hope through rituals that invite you into the present moment. Create a way to ground yourself in the here and now in a way that is kind and nourishing. And lean into your rituals and routines as a path of stability and certainty during an uncertain season of life.

For me, this always turns back to ensuring that first cup of coffee each morning is a prayer. So find ways to candle in the windground yourself in the reality while loving yourself and nourishing your own life.

Hope is not just expectation, it's manifestation. It offers us the dream of better days while encouraging us to pave that way forward.

Hope is both/and that we can lean into because sometimes, having hope at the end of a long, long day can be all that we have left.
 

My invitation to you this month is to commit to choosing hope and breathe nourishing into your ordinary days.

That even when it feels like you are blind to what the future holds, to light a candle in the darkness because you have hope.


For when you find the path to kindness, loving, and healing you can be an active participant in creating a life that feels good from the inside out.

Here's to remembering that no matter how challenging the world may seem, you have the power to nourish your life, find the path to healing, and sow seeds of hope for a better tomorrow.

Love, Debra





PS - I have space for two new clients this year. If working with a life coach is something you'd like to consider, schedule a complimentary chat to see if we're a good fit. Or, reply to this email.

What's floating my boat?
No matter what's happening in the outside world - or in my own small little world - one thing I've learned is that the smallest of things can keep us afloat, pull us out of the deep end, and help us be a happier version of yourself.

That's what I aim to share with you here each month. The stuff that's seems small but is making a powerful difference in the quality of my daily life.

Here are some things that are helping me keep a deeper sense of hope in my daily.


in our Basement


I hesitated before sharing this particular item with you because this isn't exactly a "little thing". And I know it's Our Peloton Bikenot a good fit for everyone's budget - both from a financial standpoint and space in your home. But the number one thing saving me this month is our Peloton bike

In addition to the cost, there is a monthly fee for access to the classes. And it needs a space of at least 2 feet by 4 feet with a ceiling height of 7 feet.

Long time subscribers may remember that we had the unfinished part of our basement finished out and turned it into a home gym back in 2016. 

Over these last 5 1/2 years we've added equipment : a treadmill, weights, etc. And on our list had been a bike of some sort (after we tried one of those stationary trainers for road bikes and HATED it). 

What surprised me about Peloton was their enormous breadth of classes. In addition to classes for the bike, they also have yoga, meditation, strength, stretching , and other cardio choices - including walking and running on treadmills and/or outdoors.

We ordered the bike during their "Black Friday" sale. It was delivered on December 6th. And you know what? Every single day since it has arrived I have done some sort of workout. I'm alternating bike workouts with strength and adding stretching to most days. 

I have a complicated history with fitness....it was something that I once loved but also had some experiences that made fitness feel toxic. So, in addition to the ways regularly moving my body is infusing my world with hope, it's also inviting me to heal my relationship with fitness. And that has been worth every penny.

If getting a Peloton is something you are interested in, we ordered just the Bike, a mat, and a pair of shoes for each of us. They regularly offer sales (now through the 9th, they are offering $300 off).

AND if you want to just try out the classes, they are offering a free 60-day trial to access to the app which allows you to stream classes using a variety of devices.

(note: none of these are affiliate links of any sort - they have some sort of referral program but I think it just gives both of us a gift card towards Peloton clothing...not necessarily my thing)

 

in my Ears


If we ever talk on the phone, on Voxer, or Zoom, you'll see me with old fashioned wired earbuds. I've tried J-Lab Bluetooth Earbudsvarious Bluetooth devices over the years but haven't never loved them. But when we ordered the Peloton, I knew that there was no way to work out do all my workouts with a wired headset.

Now, wireless, Bluetooth earbuds can range upwards of $100...and it wasn't the kind of investment I was wanting to make. So, I found these J-Lab earbuds for around $20 at my local Best Buy. And for that cost, was willing to take the chance on them. (They are also available on Amazon)

They are perfect for working out, have a great battery life, and are comfortable to wear. And I've actually been considering another pair for my pairing with my phone.

(Because one of the things that helps me continue my daily workouts is keeping everything I need to work out conveniently in our gym)

The only thing to note: these do not have a standard USB cable for charging, you'll need a special 5V 2A Power Adapter to charge them.

It's amazing how small things can go a long way into making our daily life less stressful and more open to ordinary magic?
Here's what I'm cooking on repeat....
When it comes to sustainable (and tastier) meals, it’s good to choose produce that is “in season”. So, it may surprise you to know that the WINTER months are Citrus Season!

I know we think about oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruits, and all their cousins as food that grow in WARM All Things Citrusclimates. And they do – hello Florida, California, and South Texas. However, the cooler temps this time of year in those warmer climates is the best time for the fruit to ripen to ultimate sweetness (and perfect tartness).

I find it kind of hopeful that a vitamin we need in the wintertime to boost our immunity (Vitamin C) is found in these winter gems.
 

This month I wanted to celebrate all things citrus.


If you’re looking to drink more water this year, wedges of lemons, limes, and other citrus can be a great way to add just a splash of flavor without adding sweeteners or caffeine.  

Though I am all about plain, unflavored water, JB prefers a splash of something. So we keep wedges of limes and lemons in the fridge.

I also like to pick different varieties of oranges - Cara Cara, Naval, and Blood Oranges - peel them, cut them up, and combine them for a colorful little citrus salad. 

One note: be careful about consuming grapefruit if you are on prescription medication. It can cause an adverse reaction or make some medications ineffective, especially blood pressure medications. So check with your doctor before buying all those beautiful grapefruits that are in season!


Citrus as a Base for Salads and Garnishes

 

Lemon Vinaigrette


Since the first time I made homemade dressing, it’s been our go-to dressings for salad. My go-to container salad timeis  to these Good Grips Salad Dressing Shaker by Oxo.

Begin with dried spices: To the bottom of a wide mouth container add:  Garlic Powder (1 teaspoon) and Italian Seasoning (2 teaspoons).

You can also add in a dash (1/2 teaspoon) of dried mustard, celery seeds, and/or fresh ground pepper.

Juice one lemon into your container. One lemon juiced is approximately 2 ounces. Then, add your oils – you’ll need about 4 ounces of oil.

While I prefer olive oil flavor wise, it will coagulate in the fridge so I’ve begun using 2 ounces of Olive Oil and 2 ounces of either Avocado Oil or Grapeseed oil.

You could also make this vinaigrette using limes or even oranges, though I would double the amount of garlic and add those celery seeds if you go for orange as it’s much sweeter than lemons.

Note: The downside of working with fresh citrus is you never know exactly how much juice it will result in.  A balanced vinaigrette is One Part Acid to Two Parts Oil. The Oxo shaker has ounce measurements along one side. So, after eyeballing how much juice your lemon produced know that you’ll know how much oil you’ll need to add.
 

Citrus Slaw


To be honest, if I am going for coleslaw, I gravitate towards a creamy mayo/buttermilk slaw. Vinegar slaws are just too harsh to my palate. But this recipe certainly changes my mind!

Earlier this week, I tried a new recipe for Pulled Pork Tacos with Citrus Slaw added on top. And while the slaw!Pork part is something I probably wouldn’t repeat (it was labor intensive before going into the crockpot, turned out dry and also lacked flavor) I loved the slaw.  

It was BRIGHT and tangy and teased my taste buds all the right ways. And, in fact, I used the leftover slaw for my lunches for three days (until it was gone).

To be honest, I eyeballed this dressing and these measurements are approximate.

Take a large bowl and begin by juicing two limes. Then add an equal amount of olive oil to the bowl. Next, add spices: 1 teaspoon garlic powder, 1 teaspoon oregano, a tiny pinch of kosher salt, and several grinds of fresh pepper.

Whisk together.

Add one package of shredded coleslaw mix and combine well. Chill for at least an hour.  Add this as a topper for tacos (pork or fish), as a side dish, or as the base for a fabulous salad bowl.

Notes:

The recipe I was following called for adding ginger, sugar, salt, and pepper. I am not a huge ginger fan…and for me the point of making something from scratch is an opportunity to ensure there’s no added sugar to what I’m consuming. But if you wanted a gingery rather than garlicy slaw you could do that…though I still wouldn’t add sugar.

You could also switch this up by using a package of Broccoli Slaw - which is a mix of shredded broccoli and carrots rather than cabbage.
 

Cooking with Citrus


If you ever need to brighten a dish or balance a dish (Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat) adding a splash of citrus is a great alternative to vinegars.
 

Honey Orange Glazed Chicken 


This recipe combines delicious spices and a sweet and tangy honey orange glaze.  
In a small saucepan, combine 1 1/2 cups orange juice, ½ cup apple cider (or rice) vinegar, ½ cup honey orange chickenhoney, 2 Tablespoons chili powder, 1 teaspoon garlic powder, and 1 Tablespoon ground cumin

Bring to a boil, reduce heat and let simmer for 15 minutes as the sauce reduces a little.

If you want to heat up the spice more, you can also add a teaspoon of ground ginger.

(I eyeball the honey, but if you want to measure it, spray your measuring cup with non-stick spray first)
 
In a medium saucepan add olive oil and heat to medium high heat. Chop two boneless, skinless chicken breasts into bite sized chunks, lightly salt, pepper, and garlic to the chicken and sear in olive oil, reduce heat and then allow to simmer until cooked through.

Drizzle sauce over chicken, stir so chicken is generously coated, and simmer for three minutes.

Top with fresh sliced scallions (green onions) and a bit of orange zest if you have it.

Because it has a "Chinese Food" vibe to it, you may want to serve it atop rice or cauliflower rice. We’re eating a lot of cauliflower rice in our house these days – I’ve been buying the frozen stuff (store brand) from either Kroger or Whole Foods. I warm it up on the stove with a splash of olive oil, a splash of broth, and sometimes a bit of onion or garlic.

This is also great with a side of broccoli! 
 

Lemon Chicken with Thyme and Tomatoes


In a zip lock bag, combine the juice of one lemon, 2 teaspoons garlic, and 2 teaspoons fresh thyme, add several grins of fresh pepper and 1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt. Add a boneless, skinless chicken breast, chopped into bite sized pieces, seal the bag and put in the fridge from three hours to overnight to Chicken with fresh tomatoesmarinade.

Heat 2 teaspoons olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add a diced shallot (or half of a diced onion), one tablespoon of garlic and sauté for two minutes.  Remove chicken from marinade and sauté about ten minutes, or until thoroughly cooked.  Add 1 ½ cups of grape tomatoes, halved to the skillet and sauté until another three minutes or until tomatoes begin to wilt.

Finish it off with some fresh thyme - and other herbs you may  have on hand.

If you’re looking to add more greens to your diet, you can toss in a container of baby spinach alongside the grape tomatoes.

I serve this with mashed potatoes, mashed cauliflower (again – frozen from Kroger), or a nice, fluffy baked potato.
 

Lemon Chicken Soup


This is a recipe for using up already cooked chicken – whether it’s some chicken you grilled on a warm day, a chicken you roasted in the crock pot, or make the recipe easier by getting rotisserie chicken from your Chicken Soupgrocery store. You’re going to want 2 ½ to 3 cups of diced chicken.

You’re going to begin by chopping veggies, something that always has a Zen feel for me – a kind of active meditation.

You’ll need: 1 ½ cups diced carrots, about 3-4 medium carrots, ½ cup diced celery, about 3 ribs, and ½ cup finely diced onion (about half of an onion)

In a large pot, add olive oil until it covers the bottom of the pan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the carrots, celery, onion, and 1 teaspoon of garlic powder and cook for 5-6 minutes, stirring often, until the onions have softened and started to turn translucent.

Next add 6 cups of chicken or vegetable broth (if you don’t have homemade stock, I prefer the Kitchen Basics Unsalted broths). Add a bay leaf, a pinch of kosher salt, 1 teaspoon of oregano, 1 teaspoon of basil, and 1 teaspoon of thyme (OR 3 teaspoons of Italian Seasoning). And simmer for 10 to 15 minutes.

If you’re using pre-cooked chicken, now is the time to stir in the chicken as well as add the juice of one (or two) lemons (according to your taste) and cook an additional three to five minutes.

Remove the bay leaf before serving. Season with an additional salt/pepper as needed.

Notes:

If you have a hankering for this soup but don’t have already cooked chicken, start with the Lemon Thyme chicken above just without the tomatoes. When you get the chicken seared around the edges, then proceed by adding the veggies. You’ll need to add a splash more olive oil before you add the veggies.

We’re really focusing on less gluten in our house these days, but you can make this a heartier dish by adding ¾ to 1 cup orzo pasta at the same time you add the broth as it will cook up nicely without having to be cooked separately.

If you’re looking to get more greens in your diet, add either baby spinach (a 5-ounce container) or a cleaned and chopped bunch of Chard into the soup (I like the Rainbow Chard!). Do this at the same time you add the lemon juice.
 
Have you chosen Your Word for 2022?  It's something I've been doing since 2005 and has been a great Connect with Your Wordinfluence and support on my personal development over the years. Yes, even those years that I have tried to ignore my word, just the act of choosing a Word is like a prayer. 

One thing I wanted to do in the year ahead is to serve as a cheerleader, companion, and champion for you - and Your Word - for 2022.

In my experience our words work their own special magic whether we check in with them or not, but keeping them in mind certainly helps boost their ability to serve us. 
 

Here's some ways to play and connect in this month:

  • Ask yourself: What ways is my WORD compelling me to be a more hopeful and kind person? Grab a sheet of paper, your journal, or open a blank document on your computer to explore the answers to this question.
  • How can my WORD be a jumping off point to for finding ways love, nourish, and flat out enjoy my daily life?  Sometimes, we rush headlong into life - or confuse being busy as a way to prove our worth. Yet, sometimes, the opposite of action is needed in order to best reach our goals and thoughtfully pursue our desires....
  • Use your WORD as a jumping off point to life with an attitude of hope in your daily life. What's standing in the way seeing and seeking the beauty in the ordinary? What I mean by this is to brainstorm tiny ways you can nourish your own sense of hope, seed your life with beauty, and love yourself - and others more deeply.....then expand upon that and find actions you can take to make that happen. Explore how your WORD supports that. And, in fact, can help you find a deeper hope for the future.

PS - If you haven't yet chosen a word, there's still time.  I'll never forget what happened to me in 2010. That year, I didn't even commit to a Word - FAITH - until March. I took leap after leap after leap of Faith that year, and my life has never been the same. It gave me the courage to trust my intuition and step out of my comfort zone. 

If you haven't yet snagged your copy of A Touchstone for Your 2022 Journey:
The In-Depth Guide to Revealing Your Word of the Year 
 you can download it here.
Interested in Working with Me? Book a Discovery Session
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Debra Smouse - Photo by Winter Wolf Studios

Welcome!

I'm grateful you're here.


I'm Debra Smouse - a writer, lover of books, drinker of coffee, ENTJ, and life coach on a mission to help you create a daily life that is loving and nourishing. 

This love note arrives in your in-box the 2nd Saturday of each month. And my deepest hope is that it gives you practical tips for ways to choose yourself. And helps you discover the magic in the most ordinary of moments. 

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