A word of Torah:
Last week’s Torah portion contained the shocking story of the rape of Dinah in which not one of the characters comes out morally unflawed except for Dinah, who is silenced in the text. This week’s portion we begin the story of Joseph who is sold into slavery by his brothers. Joseph works in the house of Potiphar whose wife unsuccessfully tries to seduce Joseph. In between there is another story of power, sex and seduction, that of Judah and Tamar.
Judah marries Tamar to his first-born son, who soon thereafter dies. Though Tamar marries the second son, he dies as well, making Judah reluctant to allow his third son to marry her. Years pass, and Tamar realizes she will remain unmarried. Hearing that Judah will be nearby, she takes off her widow’s clothes, puts on a veil and sits by the road. Not recognizing her, Judah assumes she is a harlot. He offers to pay her for sex. She asks for a pledge of his seal, cord and staff. Afterwards, Judah sends the payment but Tamar has disappeared. Subsequently told that his daughter-in-law is pregnant, he is ready to condemn her to death. She sends him his seal to prove that it is in fact Judah who got her pregnant. Judah admits his guilt.
Tamar is not a seductress like Potiphar’s wife nor is she the victim of her story like Dinah. Tamar maneuvers not only to get the justice she deserves but in a way that a powerful man will come to admit what he did wrong. It is the first time in the Torah that someone admits his guilt. Beginning with Adam and Eve, no one accepts responsibility for their deeds. While Joseph will eventually forgive his brothers, even he doesn’t apologize for his obnoxious behavior as a youth that provoked his brother’s hatred.
Judah’s acceptance of responsibility is a mark of an essential aspect of leadership. It is why when in two weeks he sincerely approaches Joseph pleading for Benjamin, Joseph will be ready to forgive his brothers. It is also why Judah is worthy to be the ancestor of King David the founder of the Davidic dynasty. Judah is not a perfect man, but one who understands the power of accepting responsibility for one’s behavior.
While the Bible rarely repeats a name, there is another Tamar, a daughter of King David, whose half-brother, Amnon, is “sick” with lust for her and rapes her. As soon as it is over, “his loathing for her was greater than the passion he had felt for her” (2 Samuel 13:15). Amnon is arguably the evilest person in the Bible.
The issues of the use and abuse of power in general and in the context of sex are both troubling and continue to dominate our thinking. In these four examples of abuse, we see the text silencing women and empowering them, while the men involved both take responsibility and ignore their abuse. Without suggesting that we apply 21st Century standards to ancient challenges, we can nevertheless look at Dinah, Judah, Tamar, and Amnon when seeking ways to take responsibility for our deeds and act accordingly.
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