BITTER BREAKFAST

Quinn Myers is constantly veering off the beaten path to find people who reject tradition. For his latest venture, Myers spoke to some supreme sickos who absolutely love drinking orange juice after brushing their teeth. For most of us, this is a form of taste-bud torture that we’d only endure under the most dire of circumstances. But it takes all kinds to make up this world, and these citrus-toothpaste lovers sing in the choir of God’s creation regardless. Plus, they just love it:

“I much prefer brushing my teeth before enjoying a few sips of orange juice,” one of them told Myers. “That way I get the most of that enhanced tangy bitterness you can’t find anywhere else.” 

So who am I to deny them? Besides, I very much admire people who have no problem speaking their unpopular truths, which, again, is something Myers is great at extracting from them. For your reading displeasure, here are some other undeniably brave souls Myers has found: 

• The Silent Cult of People Who Run Without Music

• The Absolute Masochists Who Love Drinking Flat Soda

• These One-Square Crusaders Are Preaching a Better Way to Poop 

• The Madmen Who Shave Without Shaving Cream Live Life on the Edge

• The Absolute Perverts Who Love Getting Their Sleeves Wet When Washing Their Hands

TRIPPY RELIGION

Anything can be a religion if you believe in it enough. Case in point: There’s a Church of Real-Life Jedi Knights, and an entire faith based around Jesus being an alien. To that end, Ian Lecklitner looked into the recent phenomenon of underground congregations using the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) to claim that psychedelics are a part of their religious beliefs. These churches don’t necessarily deify drugs, but rather, couple them with spiritual practices. 

Lecklitner outlined the times other churches angled for coverage under the RFRA, and explained why it may be difficult for psychedelic institutions in particular to make their case to the government. As one of our Twitter followers put it succinctly: 

FINISHING MANEUVER

Over the last few months, plenty of pro wrestlers have taken their talents to OnlyFans. Jake Hall looked at the ongoing exodus, and spoke to a few wrestlers who have found much larger financial returns there than in the squared circle. “You’re expected to look like a star while you’re not on a star’s salary,” Chelsea Green explained, adding that most wrestlers make under 50k per year. 

And so, Green predicts that many more wrestlers will soon end up supplementing their income by dropping their trunks and knocking (wrestling) boots on the adult platform.

A DEEP CUT

The Man Who Gave His Balls to Wikipedia

In the war over whose testicles get to be featured on Wikipedia — rendering them arguably the most famous balls on the internet — one superfan called Emptybone fought his way to scrotal success

THE BEST OF THE REST

The new satanic panic. Succulent poachers. Just how high a runner’s high will get you. The best video games for your mental health. Does the Red Cross want your stoner blood? Songs about sex workers. Why cyclists are carrying guns on their rides. Looking back at the “Frat Pack.” The feminine urge to explain this meme. Is pineapple juice a painkiller? How Oklahoma became the Wild West of weed. What to do when a dog eats your dildo. The subliminal messaging of r/BabeCock. And does your metabolism really slow by 90 percent when you sit down?

TWEET OF THE DAY