Ten Ways to Survive a Child Custody Case
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Last month, I shared my ten tips for surviving a divorce. But if your divorce involves children, you’re dealing with a separate category of challenges that affect not just you and your spouse, but the children you’re raising together.
For that reason, I’ve compiled a separate list of survival tips for those parents who are enduring a custody case. Some of these tips overlap with the “standard” divorce tips, but several are unique to custody matters.
- Do not say anything bad about the children’s other parent in the presence or hearing range of your children. Remember, your children are one-half the other parent, so criticism of the other parent is a criticism of your child. Not only that, but if word gets back to the other side or the judge (and it usually does; little pitchers have big ears), it doesn’t help your case.
- Do not tell your child about the custody case. This is for several reasons: 1) You will probably be violating an order in the case, 2) a custody evaluator and the Court will not be happy with you; and 3) most importantly, it could harm your own relationship with your child. Your lawyer can advise you how to respond if your child asks about the case, but in the meantime, find other things to talk about with your child.
- Keep a detailed calendar of all events. Include when you and the other parent spends time with the children, takes them to things they are supposed to as well as when the other parent does not do what they are supposed to do. Keep that calendar where the children cannot see it or password protect it in the computer.
- Don’t date at all during the custody case or divorce. In Texas you are married until the judge signs the divorce decree. Some judges view that as adultery. In addition, you, your children, and the case do not need the additional emotional issues and complications while custody issues are pending.
- Do what your lawyer advises. Whether it’s me or any other lawyer — even if you are a lawyer yourself — listen to the lawyer you hired. You are paying them for a reason: because they have the legal expertise and emotional distance to help you navigate some of your life’s choppiest waters. If you don’t like or trust their advice, change lawyers.
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Carol Wilson provides expertise, focus and compassion in times of family turmoil, having skillfully litigated and tried complex divorce, property division, and child custody cases for more than 30 years.
She has been Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization since 1992. Subscribe to the firm's newsletter here.
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Best Law Firms Names Law Office of Carol A. Wilson to Its 2022 Edition
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In recognition of the firm’s achievements in family law, “Best Law Firms” has selected the Law Office of Carol A. Wilson, PLLC, as one of the top firms in Dallas. This is the third consecutive year that the firm was recognized on the annual list.
We are grateful to our clients and professional colleagues for their glowing references and are thrilled to be included as a top family law firm.
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Wherever the road may lead you this holiday...
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We wish you and yours a very happy and
memorable Thanksgiving.
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