Copy
View this email in your browser

Ignorance and a Side of Cartier

Howdy, hi, hello. Welcome to Engine Failure, a Formula 1 culture newsletter that dives into what the fuck is really going on in F1. It’s written by me, Lily Herman.

Well, friends, I’ve had over 24 hours to try and digest the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix, and I have nothing more to say except beep boop. My brain is empty. There are no thoughts left for me to transmit. Anyway, let's dive into a few things.
 

Danny...Come On, Dude

My patience was already running a little thin with Danny Ric’s antics this season, including his Barstool Sports podcast appearance, the lack of women artists on his THREEx3 Beats collab, and his little convo on Ellen. But then he had to go and allude to the human rights abuses in Saudi Arabia being “drama” and fully confess that he purposely doesn’t keep up with basic current events.

A few sections from this short but extra cringe interview

  • “I think it’s important if you know the situation and you know what you’re talking about. To be honest, I don’t watch the news and some people say it’s a bit ignorant but I choose not to watch it because…a lot of the time, people like drama and negativity.”

  • “I don’t watch the news and feel better about my day so I choose not to watch it...I try to understand a little bit of the situation of places we go…”

  • “It’s not in my nature to really understand a lot about this and maybe I am a bit ignorant.”

Uh, you could say that last part again. Honestly, McLaren’s comms and PR department has got to do better, because between this and their botched response (or lack thereof) to Lando’s nooooot great “Mexican” party over the summer break, they’re really batting zero on this front.

What’s equally wild to me is that the two most social justice-minded drivers on the grid, Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel, aren’t especially radical in their politics. It’s just that drivers like Danny aren’t even doing the bare minimum, so much so that Lewis and Seb look like Nobel Peace Prize winners by comparison. I mean, Lewis wore poem shirts this season and Seb had rainbows on his sneakers. You’re telling me Danny Ric couldn’t do some sort of cool and relatively inoffensive, socially conscious collab like those?!?! That seems right up his alley! 

Oh, and then, the same user who linked to the interview clip also resurfaced an older video from Danny’s Red Bull days where he dropped the N-word while rapping, so uh...Riccidarhoes, I’ll let y’all sort this one out...
 

The Bracelet Conundrum

While everybody else is talking about whether or not Max brake-tested Lewis, I’m instead going to discuss something way more important: The double Cartier Love bracelet situation (or something similar) that Max appeared to be rockin’ during the Saudi Arabia Media Day press conference.

This incredibly crucial journalistic issue was brought to my attention by a super media-minded F1 chat, Scuderia DM, and I thank them for their service.

For those who don’t know, Cartier Love bracelets are expensive as fuck (usually retailing around $4,500-7,000, depending on if you get the thinner version or the chunkier one) and require you to use a special screwdriver to take them on and off. Let’s say it all together, friends: Rich! people! are! wild!

My initial thought when I first heard about this phenomenon was that it had to be a Kelly thing. Some quick digging showed that she too has worn a Cartier Love bracelet on occasion. After all, the earliest sighting of Max’s single Cartier look was back in summer 2020. At some point between the U.S. Grand Prix and the Mexican Grand Prix this year though, he added a second one.

Of course, I'm more interested in the meaning behind them. Do they represent Kelly and her daughter Penelope? Does Max just like things in pairs? Is he a big Cartier fan and this has nothing to do with his love life whatsoever? Considering this is probably the only time we'll ever talk about Max's style choices, inquiring minds would like to know!



Let’s Judge Music Tastes!

Only two people tangentially related to F1 (and not a single driver) put their Spotify Wrapped info out for all the world to see: Alfa Romeo reserve driver (and soon-to-be IndyCar king) Callum Ilott and Pierre Gasly’s girlfriend Katerina Berezhna. (As a refresher, this is low-key kinda funny since Callum is dating Pierre’s ex, the other Caterina.)

I’m not sure why, but I’m zero percent surprised that Callum is a Drake fan who loves to get down to Ed Sheeran as well. Katerina being such a Reggaeton listener was a little more intriguing though, mostly because we don’t know as much about her. Love to add a layer here.

Meanwhile, we didn’t quite get Christian Horner’s Spotify Wrapped...except we kinda sorta did.
 

Another Baby Checo

Oh yeah, in the midst of everything else going on last week, Sergio Perez and wife Carola Martinez announced that they were expecting a baby in the most chill way possible: Carola posted exactly one Instagram Story hinting at it and that was it. Someone also took pics at their gender reveal, and they’re having a boy. Mazel tov, juicy DILF!
 

Like what you see? Check out other recent Engine Failure issues and then forward this newsletter to a friend because you're a nice person who wants to see me ~succeed~:

And if you have tips, suggestions, theories, intel, gossip, or questions, tweet me or send me an email.

I had a whole rankings sections planned for today that got thrown for A COMPLETE LOOP thanks to yesterday's race melting my brain into a puddle. So anyway, we'll be back into rankings next week when my mind isn't a giant slush pile on the disgusting New York City sidewalk.
As is always the case, we begin our fashion journey talking about Lewis, who apparently had much to say. The green ensemble is straight Gucci all the way through (a favorite brand of Lewis'). The black outfit is from a smaller brand called 3.PARADIS, and the funky yellow and beige number is from the AMBUSH Spring 2022 collection. Well-played, Sir L.
In other news, it’s a blessing that this newsletter went out as late on Monday as it did, because I’d like to introduce y’all to … Pierre’s chest hair. Dear god. Things went downhill from there though, because AlphaTauri unveiled its end-of-year marketing campaign featuring all of their various Red Bull stars, and um, Christian Horner. I’m in...pain.
Elsewhere in the paddock and around the world, everyone in WAGs-land brought their sartorial A-game this week. (Because I know you're wondering: Tiffany's gorgeous pink skirt is Prada, but that's all I could find out about it.)
Kelly celebrated her 33rd birthday a few days early (it’s actually tomorrow, the 7th), and I’ll readily admit that she totally knocked it out of the park over the last week. The woman loves bling and sequins, and she had plenty of both. (The skirt's Paco Rabanne, btw, and the blinged-out top is H&M — and only $40!)

To round things out, Isa was peak Loafer Girl™ all week and had superior Dark Academia energy. Bless her. (Oh, and that blue Carmen Says dress she's wearing is $80. Quite the steal.)
Photo credits to Mark Sutton and Kym Illman.
Our parents Val and Tiff gave us EVERYTHING this weekend: A fabulous pink skirt, an innocent wink, a P3 finish in the last few meters of the race. What more could you ask for from the OTP of the grid? And they're already biking in a different desert today!
Folks, I thought things were going to be okay when I saw Carlos, Patron Saint of Levi’s, wearing a sliver of denim on Thursday and Friday. Sure, he had a little blip on the track and was his routine chaotic self.

But on Saturday during quali, the man chose violence by wearing THE INFAMOUS WHITE PANTS again — and look what happened during that final hot lap, Max fans. You’ve gotta tell Carlos to VerStopThis immediately!!!!

Unfortunately we have no footage of what bottoms Carlos wore on Sunday, but considering the monstrosity that unfolded before our eyes yesterday, I think we can all guess his final choice.
Cyril finally got that damn tattoo (and we were treated to a shot of Danny’s thigh tat). Old footage of Carlos going ~undercover~ at a karting track went viral. Logan Sargeant, America’s great hope for a future spot on the F1 grid, had a rooooough F2 debut. Okay, but like, is Lewis the GOAT? Lmaaaoooo Daddy Mazepin got his egg son a new chassis for the final two 2021 races...and then he proceeded to wreck it. Look at that, it’s the two Schumis and Uncle Seb! It’s a good question: Where the heck do F1 tires go after races? Here’s Daniel in his little fashionista outfits for T mag. Lando finally made the move to Monaco, but is his roomie Max Fewtrell gonna be okay? Daddy was ready to rage. Lewis dragging Susie Wolff into the team photo is my serotonin for the week. Oh, and Merc surprised her with a birthday celebration. While we’re here, imagine being this hot as a couple. Lily He is becoming quite the TikTok star (and so is Alex Albon...I guess). Why is Jos...A Thing™? All right, Lewis and his niece are too damn precious.

Thank you to everyone who wrote into last week’s Conspiracy Corner question: Which underrated F1 pairing do you think is most deserving of 5.1 million-word fanfic work and why?

A few thoughts from y’all:

  • B: Lando and George. The chemistry is THERE. And if George can wait three years for a Merc seat, he can wait 5.1 million words to confess his ~true feelings~.

  • Antonio: Romain Grosjean and Pastor Maldonado. I don't need to say anything more. It's like the 2014 Lotus pairing was destined for each other at birth.

  • Claire: Nicholas Latifi and a jar of Nutella.

  • Jackie: The Williams team and that latte machine that keeps appearing in their Off-Grid videos. No one’s ever loved anything more. [Editor’s Note: I’m glad someone else has noticed the weird collective Williams obsession with the latte machine!!!!!]

  • Ali: I don’t even have a specific driver pairing, but I feel like there’s some really smutty race engineer shenanigans just waiting to be written about.

Today’s question: What do you think were Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen’s most streamed songs of 2021? Wrong answers only.

Submit your answer here.
Twitter
Facebook
Website
Email
Instagram
Copyright © 2021 Engine Failure, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp