NEW YEAR, ETC.

We all know that New Year’s resolutions don’t really start on January 1st (frankly, they don’t have to start at all if you’re not feeling the vibe). That said, we’ve got some mental health and workout advice from Lauren Vinopal (our chief stress correspondent) and Ian Douglass (our guru of couch-potato fitness) to help you make changes if you’re looking to begin 2022 anew. Even if you want to just stop mindlessly scrolling, or retrain your taste buds to love veggie pizza instead of pepperoni, it’s a start. Regardless, this is a no-judgment zone™.

• Easy Ways to Eat More Vegetables
• How to Eat Healthy Without Cooking
• A Guide to Getting Better at Pull-Ups
• How Long It Takes to Get in Shape 

• Long-Term Solutions to Burnout
• What to Eat When You’re Depressed
• A Guide to Compartmentalizing Properly
• How Much You Should Pay for Therapy

FOOL ME TWICE...

How humiliating would it be to get scammed, only to turn around and get scammed again? It’s actually a whole industry — con artists who purposefully seek out the recently conned to play them one more time. Zaron Burnett III looked into the lucrative world of “recovery scamming” to learn how these predominantly crypto-related losses happen.

“Con artists and digital charlatans hit their victims while they’re still reeling from the first scam because clearly, they’ve already proven to be gullible and are primed to be fleeced again. Knowing that they’re at an emotional low point, recovery scammers promise the previously bilked that they can get back what’s theirs — for a small fee, of course.”

I want to laugh at how gullible you have to be in order to get scammed twice in a row. However, I remember the time my family was at a restaurant and my brother told me mussels were actually clams’ tongues, and it freaked me out so bad that I started screaming at the top of my lungs while everyone roared with laughter. Even the table next to us was laughing. So I definitely shouldn’t throw stones. 

IT'S A LIFESTYLE

Over on the smut beat, Jake Hall has already had a very busy 2022. They probed r/AnalOnlyLifestyle, where straight people are only doing butt stuff. They investigated if swingers really use pineapples as their horny bat signal. They interviewed super squirter Lola Jean about her record-breaking abilities. And most importantly, they wrote about the online thirst for Pepsiman, a horny soft-drink superhero. 

DEEP CUTS

The Rise of the 'Sober Curious' Industry

Authors, podcasters, beverage companies, therapists, retreats and social media influencers are building a big business around the movement to normalize — and redefine — sobriety

BEST OF THE REST

The MLK speech conservatives don’t quote. Why are liberals on Gab? A history of “a guy walks into a bar” jokes. Wordle is tearing us apart. Anna Lee is graphing her jerk-off data. Men should use more exclamation points!!! The terrors of Mr. Toilet Man. Hilarious anti-piracy ads. David Arquette and the new Scream. We’ve reached peak kegel. What is a heritage brand? Is there such a thing as healthy fruit juice? The deep sorrow of Sinead O’Connor. Why high school strength-training programs are flawed. A couple having sex in plain sight on TikTok.

TWEET OF THE DAY