My producer Julie-Roxane and I go deep on how to talk about death and dying with elderly parents.
 This episode is another in a series of conversations where my producer, Julie-Roxane, takes the mic.
She's a great interviewer and she gets me to open up and talk about some uncomfortable things.
We've talked about "turning 70" and about "life reinvention." This time the topic is how to have messy conversations around death and dying with friends and family. And in particular, with elderly parents.
You may want to know your parents' thoughts about death for logistical reasons (where they want to be buried, for example).
Or maybe you just want to hear their existential musings.
The takeaway lesson is that you can't force these conversations no matter how much you'd like to know what your parents are thinking.
After we recorded this episode, I was visiting my parents and took a long walk with my 91-year-old mother through the lovely cemetery in her neighborhood.
In an unplanned exchange, my mother suddenly told me what she wants to happen after her death. I listened, said nothing in response, and we continued walking.
This was a good clue about how to approach a difficult conversation: do it without pressure or premeditation. And see what unfolds.
A mental & physical re-set in Baja, Mexico
 My husband Sam and I have just completed two weeks at MEA in Baja, MX. Billed as a midlife wisdom center, MEA is many things. For us, it provides a space for reflection and renewal.
The pounding waves, wide beach (see photo at top), blue skies, and warm weather are the perfect tonic after a cold, gray winter in the Northeast.
As is the community of other mid-lifers who are open to messy and honest conversations.
Listen here to my provocative conversation with Julie-Roxane (there's some humor, too):
Debbie and Julie-Roxane on messy conversations about old age and dying.
That's it for today.
With warm regards,
Debbie
about | author | nonfiction writing coach
I help writers get unstuck
m: 202.255.1467
wordbiz@gmail.com
The [B]OLDER Podcast
Making the most of growing older.
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